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holy crap, I'm a father.

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,163
154
Six Shooter Junction
We need to get out of this hospital.

It took 30 minutes to get my boy to stop screaming and then not two minutes later,, the nurse came in to take some stats... now he's screaming again.

Boobs, man. He wants boobs.





(or a paci if your wife doesn't like being a human pacifier all the time.)
 

3D.

Monkey
Feb 23, 2006
899
0
Chinafornia USA
I just saw this (been away from my computer for a while)

Congrats... Awesome, welcome to the club.:happydance:

Hope you get mom & him home soon!
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
It took 30 minutes to get my boy to stop screaming and then not two minutes later,, the nurse came in to take some stats... now he's screaming again.
Like any good man, he's probably screaming for tits.
 

Quo Fan

don't make me kick your ass
Congratulations!

You will spend the next 2 years teaching him to walk and talk, then the next 16 telling him to sit down and shut up. :biggrin:

All I can say is Duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape. The best baby sitter in the world. :busted:
 

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,007
149
The Cleft of Venus
COngrantulations...!!!!

You and your wife will now discover what marriage is all about cuz up till now you have just been extended dating.

:D
 

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,821
0
Sleepy Hollar
We need to get out of this hospital.

It took 30 minutes to get my boy to stop screaming and then not two minutes later,, the nurse came in to take some stats... now he's screaming again.
First, Congrats.

Second. The hospital stay was the most torturous experience I've ever had. The nurse came in to check my wife's blood pressure every 45 minutes for 24 hours. It was hell.
 

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,007
149
The Cleft of Venus
First, Congrats.

Second. The hospital stay was the most torturous experience I've ever had. The nurse came in to check my wife's blood pressure every 45 minutes for 24 hours. It was hell.
the hospital is the last place you want to go to get some rest, thats for sure!
 

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,163
154
Six Shooter Junction
First, Congrats.

Second. The hospital stay was the most torturous experience I've ever had. The nurse came in to check my wife's blood pressure every 45 minutes for 24 hours. It was hell.
Our first two kiddos spent their first 8-10 days in the hospital hooked up to IV antibiotics.:twitch:(1st -- strep B;2nd -- staph) We didn't know what to do when the twins came home on the second day.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,027
3
Denver
You and your wife will now discover what marriage is all about cuz up till now you have just been extended dating.
Smartest, most insightful thing you've ever said.

I read that this morning and didn't agree with you 100%, but after today, you are very wise.

We've spent the day negotiating various topics, like:
-- having the baby sleep with us and if so, for how long
-- supplementing breastfeeding with bottle, when, how much.
-- pacifiers, when, how long
-- vaccinations, which ones, when

some topics are more discussed than others.

My point as it relates to yours... yeah, we've just been dating. No truly serious subject has ever come up in comparison... not which house and how much to spend, buying a bike or two, which movie to see and where to eat dinner, her out all night with her girlfriends or me with my friends, going to family dinner vs watching football.

yup, marriage before kids was still like dating.
 

TreeSaw

Mama Monkey
Oct 30, 2003
16,689
472
Dancin' over rocks n' roots!
Smartest, most insightful thing you've ever said.

I read that this morning and didn't agree with you 100%, but after today, you are very wise.

We've spent the day negotiating various topics, like:
-- having the baby sleep with us and if so, for how long
-- supplementing breastfeeding with bottle, when, how much.
-- pacifiers, when, how long
-- vaccinations, which ones, when

some topics are more discussed than others.

My point as it relates to yours... yeah, we've just been dating. No truly serious subject has ever come up in comparison... not which house and how much to spend, buying a bike or two, which movie to see and where to eat dinner, her out all night with her girlfriends or me with my friends, going to family dinner vs watching football.

yup, marriage before kids was still like dating.

Excellent discussions I am sure...we had similar ones prior to Syd coming home and then had to modify our decisions as she grew. It's an amazing roller coaster and I wouldn't change a thing!
 

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,821
0
Sleepy Hollar
we had similar ones prior to Syd coming home and then had to modify our decisions as she grew.

We were all "NO PACIFIERS" before Jamie was born, that lasted about an hour or two post birth. Now he's a little over a year old and has pretty much weaned himself from it with no effort on our part to do so.

LO- I recommend keeping an open and flexible mind and when in doubt defer to your wife's judgement.
 

Upgr8r

High Priest or maybe Jedi Master
May 2, 2006
942
0
Ventura, CA
We were all "NO PACIFIERS" before Jamie was born, that lasted about an hour or two post birth. Now he's a little over a year old and has pretty much weaned himself from it with no effort on our part to do so.

LO- I recommend keeping an open and flexible mind and when in doubt defer to your wife's judgement.
:stupid:

The no pacifier rule lasted about that long. It's funny how a lot of our prebirth decisions got tossed when reality reared it's head.

Fortunately Baby Becca is starting to wean herself off the pacifier (3 months). Next goal is to get her to sleep in her nice crib that grandma bought her. It only has about 5 hours of use so far :shocked:
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
We've spent the day negotiating various topics, like:
-- having the baby sleep with us and if so, for how long
-- supplementing breastfeeding with bottle, when, how much.
-- pacifiers, when, how long
-- vaccinations, which ones, when
In my experience:

Let the baby sleep with you till it is noticeable that you or the baby isn't getting enough undisturbed sleep. When he gets big enough, there will be no more room in the bed.

Breast is best. Formula cannot compare in the slightest. Your baby will be healthier in the long run if you avoid formula all together.

Try avoiding the pacifier. We shall await your hilarious "at-my-fvcking-wit's-end" posts.

Vaccinations: all, spread out a bit.
 

mogulskr

Monkey
Aug 28, 2002
641
0
NH
LO- I recommend keeping an open and flexible mind and when in doubt defer to your wife's judgement.
If you remember anything from this it should be this statement. They have the ability to know when the kid needs to see a doctor even though you think it is just a cold and he'll get over it.

On the sleeping thing - remember that you can walk away when the baby is crying, they will stop and get themselves to sleep. It is not easy, but if you do it early they will learn to comfort themselves and fall asleep on their own.

We did formula for both of ours. Not sure if they are worse off then any other kid.
 

moff_quigley

Why don't you have a seat over there?
Jan 27, 2005
4,403
2
Poseurville
In my experience:

Let the baby sleep with you till it is noticeable that you or the baby isn't getting enough undisturbed sleep. When he gets big enough, there will be no more room in the bed.

Breast is best. Formula cannot compare in the slightest. Your baby will be healthier in the long run if you avoid formula all together.

Try avoiding the pacifier. We shall await your hilarious "at-my-fvcking-wit's-end" posts.

Vaccinations: all, spread out a bit.
:stupid: well mostly...I wouldn't put the baby in bed with you. Have had numerous friends, coworkers etc that did that and now their kid won't sleep through the night in its own bed at 4 and 5 years old. I guess it depends on the temperment of the child...I know for a fact that if our daughter slept with us when she was little it would have been a battle to get her into her own bed.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
:stupid: well mostly...I wouldn't put the baby in bed with you. Have had numerous friends, coworkers etc that did that and now their kid won't sleep through the night in its own bed at 4 and 5 years old. I guess it depends on the temperment of the child...I know for a fact that if our daughter slept with us when she was little she'd it would have been a battle to get her into her own bed.
Naps in the crib for sure.

My first kid slept with us the first few months then we moved her into the crib more and more.

The crib to the small bed was a bit of a hassle, but not anything traumatic.

She always slept through the night.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
30,825
3,936
Portland, OR
We had a small cradle that she slept in for the first 2 months next to our bed, but she would sometimes fall asleep on me/wife too.

We used Soy formula at about 6 months (not quite a full meal a day) while starting the transition from teet.

Pacifier was used, but wasn't an issue by about 9 months, and was mainly at bedtime. Weened before a year without issue and was mostly the babies choice.
 

dirttastesgood

Turbo Monkey
Dec 12, 2006
1,517
0
CT
Pacifiers are horrible, use duct tape if you have to. I had a friend when I was in 4th grade that still had hers and used it. It was weird and caused her to have horrible teeth.
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
31,675
116
Bay Area, California
Yep, breast feeding is best, however sometimes at night you can't beat formula. With breast milk most kids will wake up more often cause they are hungry, formula weighs them down which means wifypoo gets more sleep.

A pacifier? Our best friend with both kids, however it F's up their bite & teeth. Hard to ween them off. If the child doesn't want it don't force it, if they need to suck, give it to them.

Sleeping with you? A definite no no. We had our son sleep with us until he was a year in a half. It took Julie going out of town for 3 nights for me to get him in his room. Lots of screaming the first night, after that went right to sleep. Don't get in that habit!!!!

Vaccines? Do it!!!
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,027
3
Denver
Also, something we learned today...

If you're having trouble breastfeeding...

Go to a lactation specialist. There's a group that meets twice a week here run by two nurses. It's free and these specialists know more about the subject than anyone. They can help!

Also, and [/b]more importantly[/b], these nurse caught a problem with our baby that NO ONE else saw, not the doctors or nurses at the hospital who examined our baby a dozen times, nor our pediatrician.

You know that ligament looking thing under your tongue? Our baby has a short one that won't allow him to breastfeed. He lost 17 ounces of body weight -- birth: 7pounds10oz, yesterday, 6pounds9oz -- because no one caught this problem and the baby wasn't getting milk when he fed. I insisted there was a problem so our Ped sent us to these nurses who finally found the problem.

The Solution?

Simple, an ENT specialist will do a slight snip of the Ferenulum (sp?). That simple!

Also, people with short ferenulums typically have speech impediments, more cavities and can't french kiss. Yeah, the kissing part is usually how people find out.
 

allsk8sno

Turbo Monkey
Jun 6, 2002
1,158
33
Bellingham, WA
easy way to ween em off the pacifier is to slowly cut down the tips of the thing(we did this in about 1.5 weeks, eventually their is nothing to suck on...worked great for ours...and definatley get them in their own bed early!!!
 

SK6

Turbo Monkey
Jul 10, 2001
7,596
0
Shut up and ride...
This whole other penis thing is confusing.

How many times do I have to be peed on to learn my lesson?
It's real embarassing when they're 18.....oh never mind.... :p

Grats!

I swear I remember when you was just a kid your self......OH how they grow up......

Gratz! again!!! :thumb: :thumb:
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
Also, something we learned today...

If you're having trouble breastfeeding...

Go to a lactation specialist. There's a group that meets twice a week here run by two nurses. It's free and these specialists know more about the subject than anyone. They can help!

Also, and [/b]more importantly[/b], these nurse caught a problem with our baby that NO ONE else saw, not the doctors or nurses at the hospital who examined our baby a dozen times, nor our pediatrician.

You know that ligament looking thing under your tongue? Our baby has a short one that won't allow him to breastfeed. He lost 17 ounces of body weight -- birth: 7pounds10oz, yesterday, 6pounds9oz -- because no one caught this problem and the baby wasn't getting milk when he fed. I insisted there was a problem so our Ped sent us to these nurses who finally found the problem.

The Solution?

Simple, an ENT specialist will do a slight snip of the Ferenulum (sp?). That simple!

Also, people with short ferenulums typically have speech impediments, more cavities and can't french kiss. Yeah, the kissing part is usually how people find out.
Good to hear you figured this out! No wonder he was screaming, he needed more milk!
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
5
i know you're not asking for advice, and i know it's nothing new & revelatory, but...be patient beyond measure.

apparently, they copy almost everything they see/hear you do.

congrats, brother.
 

Upgr8r

High Priest or maybe Jedi Master
May 2, 2006
942
0
Ventura, CA
i know you're not asking for advice, and i know it's nothing new & revelatory, but...be patient beyond measure.

apparently, they copy almost everything they see/hear you do.

congrats, brother.
Amen to that. I thought I was a patient person before, but having a baby teaches you whole new levels
 

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,821
0
Sleepy Hollar
i know you're not asking for advice, and i know it's nothing new & revelatory, but...be patient beyond measure.

apparently, they copy almost everything they see/hear you do.

congrats, brother.
Yeah, my wife and I are really working hard on that. Every other word out of my wife's mouth is "God Damnit" and I'm a smart ass with a crude sense of humor. We're really having to relearn how to be polite to one another. You know stuff like "Would you pass the salt, dear?", "Certainly, Love" instead of "Where's the f'ing salt?", "If it were up your ass you'd know!" It's really hard when you are tired.
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
5
It's really hard when you are tired.
for me, i have to wait until my daughter is asleep until i have a beer. i lose the desire to be engaging in a frustrating scenario after a beer or two.

i've also found that 2 is my limit since being a dad, as i don't have control over when my faculties are needed.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,027
3
Denver
Fockin' nipples!

I've purchased several that claim they have a slow flow rate appropriate for a newborn, but my son winds up choking on excess formula! In fact, the slowest flow rate nipple I found is actually or 1 month olds, but, yeah, there's a but... I can't find the damn bottles for that nipple, so I've had to rig them to work with our bottles.

Fockin' nipples.
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,791
36
Japan
So Loopie, be honest, have you had a little drink direct from the...ahem...cow, so to speak? I know I did when my wife was breast-feeding, tasted like condensed milk to me, very sweet, second only to elephant milk for sweetness apparently.
Don't lie dads, whose done it, hands up.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
Pacifiers are horrible, use duct tape if you have to. I had a friend when I was in 4th grade that still had hers and used it. It was weird and caused her to have horrible teeth.
Pacifiers aren't horrible, her parents are.