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holy crap, I'm a father.

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
4
Fockin' nipples!

I've purchased several that claim they have a slow flow rate appropriate for a newborn, but my son winds up choking on excess formula! In fact, the slowest flow rate nipple I found is actually or 1 month olds, but, yeah, there's a but... I can't find the damn bottles for that nipple, so I've had to rig them to work with our bottles.

Fockin' nipples.
Why are you bothering with formula? (I forgot if it was mentioned elsewhere in the thread...) The very best nipple are on momma.

BTW - if he starts choking on milk or formula, lift his arm over his head. If he's on his left side, lift his right arm, and vise versa. I dunno why it works but it does.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
0
Denver
So Loopie, be honest, have you had a little drink direct from the...ahem...cow, so to speak? I know I did when my wife was breast-feeding, tasted like condensed milk to me, very sweet, second only to elephant milk for sweetness apparently.
Don't lie dads, whose done it, hands up.
Not from the tap, but I won't give something to my boy if I won't try it myself.
Why are you bothering with formula? (I forgot if it was mentioned elsewhere in the thread...) The very best nipple are on momma.

BTW - if he starts choking on milk or formula, lift his arm over his head. If he's on his left side, lift his right arm, and vise versa. I dunno why it works but it does.
He's having issue breastfeeding. We went to an ENT (ear, nose, throat) specialist today and hopefully things will start improving. He can latch and she's producing, so it's a matter of time before it's straight from the pumps full-time. As for formula, cuz he wasn't feeding well for a couple of days, her production temporarily dropped. She's getting it back up.

And yes, you're right about the best nipples.

Good tip, I'll try that next time. When you pull his arm down, do you win a prize?
 

S.K.C.

Turbo Monkey
Feb 28, 2005
4,097
10
Pa. / North Jersey
Rub?... Toughend Nipples?...

Opie - not sure how I missed this, but Congratualtions man!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled nipple-rubbing...

:biggrin:
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
0
Denver
So we had our Bris today -- jewish ceremony celebrating the history of the covenant. I would've been find doing the circumcision in the hospital, but my wife insisted on the ceremony... i'm grateful we did.

If you're jewish -and- going to circumsize, go ahead and have the official ceremony.

(and no, i don't want to discuss the pros and cons of circumcision. It's an individual decision and anyone who doesn't understand the idea and is unable to make a sound decision that works for their family shouldn't even have kids in the first place)


Some jokes from the Rabbi:


- - - - - - - - -
The Russian says, "I'm thirsty and tired, I must have vodka."

The Italian says, "I'm thirsty and tired, I must have wine."

The Scot says, "I'm thirsty and tired, I must have scotch."

The Jew says, "I'm thirsty and tired, I must have diabetes."

- - - - - - - - -

So two jews are in a boat fishing when the boat gets a leak and it starts to sink. One jew turns to the other and screams, "I can't swim!"

The other says, "stay calm, I used to be a lifeguard, I'll get you to shore." But he starts to weaken just 10 feet from shore... "I'm getting tired, can you float alone?"

The other responds, "This is a strange time to ask to borrow money!"


- - - - - - - - -

two cowboys and a jew are sitting at a bar in Texas chatting. One cowboy says, "I have a ranch that is one thousand acres! It's called "Hanks Haven."

The other cowboy says, "That's nice. I've got two thousands acres and it's called 'Ron's Ranch!'."

They ask the jew if he has any land and he says that he does, "I've got 20 acres."

They laugh and laugh. "Son 20 acres ain't much. What do you call this land?"

He replies, "Downtown Dallas."



Lastly, the Rabbi gave us instructions on how to clean the circumcision and tells us to expect some swelling, but unfortunately, that goes away.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
0
Denver
Congrats on your son's cock chop!

:monkeydance:
Thanks. It was a great ceremony and family event.

That said...

I've crashed my bike (as we all have) and needed stitches and a tube in my knee later, but rode my bike back to the car.

I fully dislocated my shoulder skiing and told jokes to the ski patrol.

I've been hit while riding my motorcycle, got a concussion, still rode home.

I tore my ACL while hiking and still hiked the four miles back to the trailhead.


During the circumcision, I almost lost consciousness. I vaguely remember someone telling me to breathe.
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
25
behind the viewfinder
So Loopie, be honest, have you had a little drink direct from the...ahem...cow, so to speak? I know I did when my wife was breast-feeding, tasted like condensed milk to me, very sweet, second only to elephant milk for sweetness apparently.
Don't lie dads, whose done it, hands up.
you've been living in Japan for too long. :twitch:
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
4
no i haven't. i'm not into ritual scarification.
I saw one on video years ago in a birth class at my midwife's office. The cold surgical kind done in a doctor's office.

It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to watch. The poor kid could not even breath because he had a scream stuck in his throat for half a minute.



To each his own I guess.
 

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,164
154
Six Shooter Junction
:D Was your first born vaginally or c-section? I refused to watch the surgery, I was on the other side of the sheet at my wife's head.
vaginally.

They had more sheets for the 2nd fella, and the twins were done in the OR, just in case so I was on the other side of the sheet plus I had a chair for that one.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
0
Denver
I came home from work today, kissed my wife, started heading up stairs while saying, "tough day at work, gonna take a nap."

:D
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
4
Thanks. It was a great ceremony and family event.
I just re-read some of this thread. This post really stood out.


"Hey, we're gonna cut part of Jr.'s dick off."

"Really? I'll bring a casserole!"


I dunno. This seems weird to me.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
0
Denver
I just re-read some of this thread. This post really stood out.


"Hey, we're gonna cut part of Jr.'s dick off."

"Really? I'll bring a casserole!"


I dunno. This seems weird to me.
and again, it's not up for discussion. We don't agree, cool. If you want to discuss it, I'll start a new thread.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
14,407
2,197
I have no idea where I am
The wife of a rabbi wanted to do something special to celebrate his retirement.

Over the years the rabbi had done thousands of circumcisions and had saved all the pieces of foreskin in a large box.

The wife took the box of skins to a custom luggage maker and asked him to make something for her husband from the foreskins.

She was asked to come back in two weeks, which she did.

The craftsman handed her a small wallet.

The woman was a bit perplexed and told the luggage maker that she had expected something larger given the amount of foreskins.

The craftsman told her to gently stroke the wallet and it would turn into a full size suit case.