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holy crap, I'm a father.

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
is there some useful survival instinct in flailing around during a diaper change?

sh1t on heels
as you wheel
your little legs
get poop dregs
all over the mutha fockin' place!
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
I've got some kung fu:
- the spread palm of death across thighs
- two ankles by a thread

but sometimes, his kung fu rules the day.
Major initial cleanup and removal should be done with legs gripped in left hand by the ankle. After major offerings are dealt with, go for the general mop up and polish.

Sometimes though, you have to just call it a draw and throw them in the sink.
 

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
9,890
4
Hypernormality
but what's with all the kicking? If someone was polishing my nethers, i'd be grateful.
Kicking hard can mean digestive issues. Pretty normal so early on. His guts are probably still getting used to the milk, and will be for another few weeks.

Remedy: Time, Clockwise stomach rubs, cycling feet (hold the feet, make him ride teh invisible bike), and if it's really really bad with multi hour screaming a little gripe water.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
It sleeps 7 hours a night so far. :)
If it's consecutive, then she's starving her child. A newborn's stomach typically holds about two hours of food. I think we rarely let him sleep more than 3-4 hours before getting him fully awake, gently, to eat.

:(
 

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,164
154
Six Shooter Junction
If it's consecutive, then she's starving her child. A newborn's stomach typically holds about two hours of food. I think we rarely let him sleep more than 3-4 hours before getting him fully awake, gently, to eat.

:(
How do you figure? If the kid is gaining weight, then why is it an issue to let them sleep?

I'm sure that even a baby's body is capable of storing energy to use when it needs it. Baby fat maybe???
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
14,039
1,249
Jimtown, CO
congrats! I have faith you will warp his little whipper snapper mind in no time! :thumbs:

and all this poop talk makes for great BC.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
How do you figure? If the kid is gaining weight, then why is it an issue to let them sleep?

I'm sure that even a baby's body is capable of storing energy to use when it needs it. Baby fat maybe???
I'm 11 days into this so I'm far from an expert, just regurgitating what several healthcare providers have told us. It seems most baby's will spit up excess food instead of just expanding their stomach, like I can do :)

So if they can't hold a lot and regularly go for long breaks without eating, then it seems like they'll burn off any reserves and slow or stop their growth.

But to answer your question, yes, if the kid is gaining weight, then sure, it all seems okay.


Lastly, (and again, limited knowledge), if the kid really is asleep for seven hours, it's at a great risk for SIDS... newborns should not fall into an excessively deep sleep.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
can you believe that gripe water is relatively new to the US? pretty backards, huh?
Wikipedia said:
Various remedies to fix minor upset stomachs in babies have been around for centuries in different cultures, but the first "gripe water" was formulated in England in 1851 and used by English nannies. The original Woodward's Gripe Water contained 3.6% alcohol, dill oil, sodium bicarbonate, sugar and water. In 1993, the Food and Drug Administration ordered an automatic detention of all shipments of Woodward's into the U.S. on the basis of it being an unapproved drug. Woodward's has since been marketed online as a supplement although a 2000 review in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine found that most of the ingredients in Woodward's gripe water are of questionable value in relieving infantile discomfort, and that getting a fussy baby to stop crying may be no more complicated than giving it some sweet-tasting liquid.[1]
GO GO FDA!
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
Both Walgreens and King Soopers near us carry two Gripe Waters each... one is crap, the other far more organic and healthy. Why carry the crap one at all?

Exacerbated by formula.
Fortunately for us, our boy is now about 80% breastmilk and it's increasing each day.
 

Upgr8r

High Priest or maybe Jedi Master
May 2, 2006
942
0
Ventura, CA
If it's consecutive, then she's starving her child. A newborn's stomach typically holds about two hours of food. I think we rarely let him sleep more than 3-4 hours before getting him fully awake, gently, to eat.

:(
We made the mistake of letting the baby choose her feedings and she would sleep 4-5 hrs at a time. She wasn't growing and we were told to wake her up every 3 hours and feed her. That did the tirck
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
Fortunately for us, our boy is now about 80% breastmilk and it's increasing each day.
You will probably see an improvement in overall mood. My daughter never had a drop of formula. No colic, no inconsolable crying and she slept well.

My ex had a friend who's kid was bottle fed exclusively. He was a fussy little bastard with terrible gas.
 

laura

DH_Laura
Jul 16, 2002
6,262
15
Glitter Gulch
If it's consecutive, then she's starving her child. A newborn's stomach typically holds about two hours of food. I think we rarely let him sleep more than 3-4 hours before getting him fully awake, gently, to eat.

:(
Oh snap. I better call child services.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
We never had any problems with the kiddos. I think your situation is a little different since your little guy lost so much weight. All of ours had passed their birth weights by the 10 day mark though I don't think any of them slept 6 hours until at least 6 weeks.
So you agree with what I've read then? You kids didn't sleep six hours until at least week six. I'm not sure how old Laura's friend's child is, but seven hours is just way too long and eventho I'm an idiot, I can confidently say that for a newborn.

We made the mistake of letting the baby choose her feedings and she would sleep 4-5 hrs at a time. She wasn't growing and we were told to wake her up every 3 hours and feed her. That did the tirck
I'm so glad she's doing so much better. I'm trying to let my wife take the lead and our boy has gone upwards of five hours on a few occasions, so I start getting concerned.

I'm not advocating any sort of strict schedule, just saying that regular long sleep periods is something to be discussed with a doctor.
 

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
9,890
4
Hypernormality
Yeah I agree with what has been said about the shorter sleep periods above. 6 hours for a newborn up to 6 weeks is way too long. It is far better to get into a 3/4 hour cycle to ensure healthy growth, even if that means waking the kid.

Oh BTW it seems it is apparently fairly common (and normal) for a 3-4 day growth spurt at the 3 and 6 week marks where 2 hours between feeds is the norm. It's bloody tiring.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,975
34
Just wait till the kid is 16 and you wake them up at 3:00 pm on a Sunday.

Her: "What?? Wait....it's three o'clock?!?! Why didn't you wake me up?? I missed the whole day!"

Me: "Not my job, kid. I thought the lawnmower outside you window would have done it."


That kid could sleep through the Rapture.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
So how many times has he pissed on you?
Just twice.

But three pissing mistakes were my fault... the third was, I wanted to let his little butt and junk air out since the diapers seem so uncomfortable. So I swaddled him in a blanket and handed him to my wife. She proceeded to breastfeed and then asked...

Her: Sweetie, did you forget to put a diaper on him?
Me: No, I just forgot to tell you that I didn't diaper him.

She was not amused. I was :D
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,029
2,915
My brother is getting a yellow rain slicker for his birthday to wear during his kids changings.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
My brother is getting a yellow rain slicker for his birthday to wear during his kids changings.
His kids must have a decent sized bladder as there is no way I'd spend the extra hour a day getting into and out of protective shells :D
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
I love this baby sling. He can't be alone for more than 30 seconds, so carrying him everywhere is a requirement right now. This sling is awesome. He's happy and I can surf RM, clean house, cook dinner, take a piss, you name it!