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holy crap, I'm a father.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by LordOpie, Mar 21, 2008.

  1. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Just giving you sh1t bro.

    :D


    Actually, I find this even more weird:

    http://view.break.com/479183


    :think:
     

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  2. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    is there some useful survival instinct in flailing around during a diaper change?

    sh1t on heels
    as you wheel
    your little legs
    get poop dregs
    all over the mutha fockin' place!
     
  3. Changleen

    Changleen Paranoid Member

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    You haven't figured out the grip yet then?
     
  4. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    I've got some kung fu:
    - the spread palm of death across thighs
    - two ankles by a thread

    but sometimes, his kung fu rules the day.
     
  5. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Major initial cleanup and removal should be done with legs gripped in left hand by the ankle. After major offerings are dealt with, go for the general mop up and polish.

    Sometimes though, you have to just call it a draw and throw them in the sink.
     
  6. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    but what's with all the kicking? If someone was polishing my nethers, i'd be grateful.
     
  7. Changleen

    Changleen Paranoid Member

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    Kicking hard can mean digestive issues. Pretty normal so early on. His guts are probably still getting used to the milk, and will be for another few weeks.

    Remedy: Time, Clockwise stomach rubs, cycling feet (hold the feet, make him ride teh invisible bike), and if it's really really bad with multi hour screaming a little gripe water.
     
  8. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    can you believe that gripe water is relatively new to the US? pretty backards, huh?
     
  9. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    does that mean counter-clockwise up here?
     
  10. Changleen

    Changleen Paranoid Member

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    lol.

    I dunno. I dunno why it's clockwise anyway. Midwife was quite insistent, and it seems to work.
     
  11. Changleen

    Changleen Paranoid Member

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    You probably would of had therapy combined with a course of prohibitively expensive pharma products previously. :monkey:
     
  12. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    if that didn't work, we'd invade.
     
  13. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    And we're back... you're up allnight with Howlin' Mad Murphy!

    (any SeaLab fans?)
     
  14. laura

    laura DH_Laura

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    One of the women I work with just had a baby. It sleeps 7 hours a night so far. :)
     
  15. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    If it's consecutive, then she's starving her child. A newborn's stomach typically holds about two hours of food. I think we rarely let him sleep more than 3-4 hours before getting him fully awake, gently, to eat.

    :(
     
  16. Wumpus

    Wumpus makes avatars better

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    How do you figure? If the kid is gaining weight, then why is it an issue to let them sleep?

    I'm sure that even a baby's body is capable of storing energy to use when it needs it. Baby fat maybe???
     
  17. TN

    TN Hey baby, want a hot dog?

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    congrats! I have faith you will warp his little whipper snapper mind in no time! :thumbs:

    and all this poop talk makes for great BC.
     
  18. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    I'm 11 days into this so I'm far from an expert, just regurgitating what several healthcare providers have told us. It seems most baby's will spit up excess food instead of just expanding their stomach, like I can do :)

    So if they can't hold a lot and regularly go for long breaks without eating, then it seems like they'll burn off any reserves and slow or stop their growth.

    But to answer your question, yes, if the kid is gaining weight, then sure, it all seems okay.


    Lastly, (and again, limited knowledge), if the kid really is asleep for seven hours, it's at a great risk for SIDS... newborns should not fall into an excessively deep sleep.
     
  19. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Does watching Adult Swim with him when he can't sleep count?
     
  20. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Exacerbated by formula.
     
  21. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    GO GO FDA!
     
  22. $tinkle

    $tinkle Expert on blowing

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    "i can has sugar tit?"
     
  23. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    See: one of stevew's avatars
     
  24. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Both Walgreens and King Soopers near us carry two Gripe Waters each... one is crap, the other far more organic and healthy. Why carry the crap one at all?

    Fortunately for us, our boy is now about 80% breastmilk and it's increasing each day.
     
  25. Upgr8r

    Upgr8r High Priest or maybe Jedi Master

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    We made the mistake of letting the baby choose her feedings and she would sleep 4-5 hrs at a time. She wasn't growing and we were told to wake her up every 3 hours and feed her. That did the tirck
     
  26. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    You will probably see an improvement in overall mood. My daughter never had a drop of formula. No colic, no inconsolable crying and she slept well.

    My ex had a friend who's kid was bottle fed exclusively. He was a fussy little bastard with terrible gas.
     
  27. Wumpus

    Wumpus makes avatars better

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    We never had any problems with the kiddos. I think your situation is a little different since your little guy lost so much weight. All of ours had passed their birth weights by the 10 day mark though I don't think any of them slept 6 hours until at least 6 weeks.
     
  28. laura

    laura DH_Laura

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    Oh snap. I better call child services.
     
  29. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    So you agree with what I've read then? You kids didn't sleep six hours until at least week six. I'm not sure how old Laura's friend's child is, but seven hours is just way too long and eventho I'm an idiot, I can confidently say that for a newborn.

    I'm so glad she's doing so much better. I'm trying to let my wife take the lead and our boy has gone upwards of five hours on a few occasions, so I start getting concerned.

    I'm not advocating any sort of strict schedule, just saying that regular long sleep periods is something to be discussed with a doctor.
     
  30. Changleen

    Changleen Paranoid Member

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    Yeah I agree with what has been said about the shorter sleep periods above. 6 hours for a newborn up to 6 weeks is way too long. It is far better to get into a 3/4 hour cycle to ensure healthy growth, even if that means waking the kid.

    Oh BTW it seems it is apparently fairly common (and normal) for a 3-4 day growth spurt at the 3 and 6 week marks where 2 hours between feeds is the norm. It's bloody tiring.
     
  31. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Just wait till the kid is 16 and you wake them up at 3:00 pm on a Sunday.

    Her: "What?? Wait....it's three o'clock?!?! Why didn't you wake me up?? I missed the whole day!"

    Me: "Not my job, kid. I thought the lawnmower outside you window would have done it."


    That kid could sleep through the Rapture.
     
  32. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Good warning.

    That's hawt!

    ;)
     
  33. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    dispensers primed and ready.....

     
  34. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Photos were requested via PM, so here's a few more :)







     
  35. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    So how many times has he pissed on you?
     
  36. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Just twice.

    But three pissing mistakes were my fault... the third was, I wanted to let his little butt and junk air out since the diapers seem so uncomfortable. So I swaddled him in a blanket and handed him to my wife. She proceeded to breastfeed and then asked...

    Her: Sweetie, did you forget to put a diaper on him?
    Me: No, I just forgot to tell you that I didn't diaper him.

    She was not amused. I was :D
     
  37. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    My brother is getting a yellow rain slicker for his birthday to wear during his kids changings.
     
  38. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    His kids must have a decent sized bladder as there is no way I'd spend the extra hour a day getting into and out of protective shells :D
     
  39. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    You don't. You do NOT wake a sleeping baby if there are no concerns regarding growth.

    I might even take it a bit further.... :D
     
  40. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    I love this baby sling. He can't be alone for more than 30 seconds, so carrying him everywhere is a requirement right now. This sling is awesome. He's happy and I can surf RM, clean house, cook dinner, take a piss, you name it!