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Home Invasions/Robberies

skibunny24

Enthusiastic Receiver of Reputation
Jun 16, 2010
3,279
548
Renton, WA
Ok kids! Buffalo and Skibunny have a problem. We are having an increasing problem with home invasions/burglaries in our 'hood. They are up to about one or two a week, and the daycare Lucas goes to had their door kicked in last night. Since we are not important enough for CSI to come run their isht on the giant muddy footprint the bastard left on the door... we are trying to come up with our own deterrents. We have two great ones named Kona and Ernie, and Kona can be a real b*tch when threatened, so I guess that's good, but what else. I don't want them getting shot or something.

The bastards seem to come up from the trail in the woods behind houses. We have our chainlink locked up out back, cedar fencing on other sides, we keep the windows and doors covered and locked. We snuggle with the shotgun at night. We've moved some valuables to family members houses for the time being... but they robbed a flippin daycare (they took a PC and two TV's) so it doesn't really appear to matter what anyone can see from the outside.

Suggestions?
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,665
433
NC
I assume Kona and Ernie are dogs, in which case you've really done the maximum you can do without going through extremes.

Burglars don't like houses with dogs, especially MULTIPLE dogs.

If you've got pictures or personal information on your computer, make sure it's backed up off-site (something like www.backblaze.com or www.crashplan.com), and don't keep bank accounts, social security numbers, passwords, etc. in plain text anywhere on your computer. We had our house burglarized and they took every piece of electronics in there.
 

bean

Turbo Monkey
Feb 16, 2004
1,338
0
Boulder
Security system stickers and signs can be purchased pretty inexpensively, and are just about as effective as the system itself, from what I've heard.

Maybe some of those lights that are triggered by motion?
 
Here are some ideas

Fence the property perimeter with something tall like cedar and let the dogs run the yard with doggie door access , spendy but very effective.

Alarm company stickers and signs are a cheap deterrent couple with faux cameras in ridiculously obvious locations.

A video surveillance system will only protect the insurance company and the rights of the criminal unless you spend major bucks for a good one.

Inexpensive window and door alarms work well if they are independent and loud.

Interior Lights on timers and motion lights on the exterior are worth their weight in gold.

Line your walks and windows and dark areas with solar powered accent/walkway lights.

Buy a police scanner and listen to the areas and calls and time frames that are priority areas and get a good peer base with neighbors on a texting basis about unfamiliar vehicles and plate numbers.

Always have dog toys on the lawn and next to the driveway and sidewalks.

If you need more help hit me with a pm
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
37,050
3,927
Sleazattle
Motion sensors at entry points connected to trigger bear spray canisters with air horn attachments. Without testing I cannot confirm that the bear spray with air horn will make noise so you may want to connect them in parallel.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,964
34
Stash financial data, credit cards, passports etc where they are not easily found. (hint: NOT in the sock drawer)

Back up the computer, AND encrypt it. Especially if it's a laptop. If it's stolen, then the hard drive is a worthless brick.
http://www.truecrypt.org/

Motion sensing lights. Back and front.

Game cameras on trees in the woods.

Don't leave duffel bags, backpacks, etc lying around. They can be picked up, filled and taken away full of your stuff. In other words, don't provide shopping bags.

Post signs at the property line in the woods, "WE LOVE TO SHOOT INTRUDERS IN THE FVCKING BALLS"
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,249
3,075
kill random meth heads....skin them...tack their hides up on the roof.
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
58,164
6,240
media blackout
Stash financial data, credit cards, passports etc where they are not easily found. (hint: NOT in the sock drawer)

Back up the computer, AND encrypt it. Especially if it's a laptop. If it's stolen, then the hard drive is a worthless brick.
http://www.truecrypt.org/

Motion sensing lights. Back and front.

Game cameras on trees in the woods.

Don't leave duffel bags, backpacks, etc lying around. They can be picked up, filled and taken away full of your stuff. In other words, don't provide shopping bags.

Post signs at the property line in the woods, "WE LOVE TO SHOOT INTRUDERS IN THE FVCKING BALLS"
 

scrublover

Turbo Monkey
Sep 1, 2004
1,055
1,401
We have our pooch, a basic ADT system, and I spent about $300 at Home Depot for a bunch of solar powered security lights. Not crazy powerful, but aimed at entry points. They bare little LED lamps - pretty bright, without being huge, obtrusive things hanging off the house. Front and rear entry lights are friggin' BRIGHT, and on timers - on all night.

Otherwise, a good homeowners policy.

Even after all that, the best thing I've found is having a super nosy neighbor who is also an insomniac.
 
Last edited:

vinnycactus

Monkey
May 27, 2004
617
32
Matthews, NC
Here are some ideas

Fence the property perimeter with something tall like cedar and let the dogs run the yard with doggie door access , spendy but very effective.

Alarm company stickers and signs are a cheap deterrent couple with faux cameras in ridiculously obvious locations.

A video surveillance system will only protect the insurance company and the rights of the criminal unless you spend major bucks for a good one.

Inexpensive window and door alarms work well if they are independent and loud.

Interior Lights on timers and motion lights on the exterior are worth their weight in gold.

Line your walks and windows and dark areas with solar powered accent/walkway lights.

Buy a police scanner and listen to the areas and calls and time frames that are priority areas and get a good peer base with neighbors on a texting basis about unfamiliar vehicles and plate numbers.

Always have dog toys on the lawn and next to the driveway and sidewalks.

If you need more help hit me with a pm
We have most of these in place as proactive measures, even though someone referred to out neighborhood as "lilly white suberbia". As a last resort, this is also an option: http://www.meijer.com/s/gunvault-speedvault-biometric-gun-safe/_/R-219195;jsessionid=D12F11A28127E3A80A78838F9F666EE2.instance01?cagpspn=pla&cmpid=Google-G_US_Meijer_eCom_PLA_Sporting_Goods&kpid=SVB500
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
14,886
2,584
I have no idea where I am
I recommend a slightly different approach. Get yourself a youngish alligator, say 6-8 ft. and a kiddie pool. Just put the pool in the living room and you won't even need to lock your front door. No one, not even Jehovah's witnesses will come in.

The only downside is the care and feeding of the live chickens that you'll need to keep out back. They are the only logical choice for gator feed/deterrent so you can enter the house. But other than that it's pretty sound burglar prevention.
 

Polandspring88

Superman
Mar 31, 2004
3,075
0
Broomfield, CO
Build a moat around your house and put in a drawbridge. Flood the moat and stock it with those Amazonian fish that like to swim up your urethra. That should be enough of a deterrent.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
I like spike strips along under my windows, for the time being screwing the windows shut, broken glass bottles on the back side of your fence...

I had a friend in New Orleans who got nuts enough that he had put gun powder in his light bulbs on the porch. He lit one off during Katrina, and it really did make the guy with the glass in his face look like a dick.

Up your door locks, use cross bars if you have to. And kill the first one that tries to invade, pike their corpse on the front line. Home invaders are like locusts, they don't like seeing their own dead.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
This.

Renton sounds like a meth head sh!t hole. The only person there who deserves to be home invaded and hopefully all the good stuff that comes with that is my ex-wife, because she is a cunt. You sound like a nice lady. You don't deserve that.
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,249
3,075
someone needs to sell a more lethal type of meth where you live....
 

skibunny24

Enthusiastic Receiver of Reputation
Jun 16, 2010
3,279
548
Renton, WA
:wave: ok, we increased the lighting, chained the remaining bikes to one another as ridiculously as possible, locked up all personal info, checks, things of value, etc. Attempted to get everything off of the pc and backed up, but it crashed instead (whoopsy!) So now it's of no use to anyone, got the urethra seeking piranhas, the bum, and the gator, but the gator ate the fish before we could build the moat, and the homeless guy died of shock from meth and bright lights, and the gator ran and hid somewhere when the dogs started barking... but I'm sure he'll be back... so for now we'll just arm the toddler and hope for the best I guess!

You all rule.
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,604
20
French Alps
If you can control the point of access for your house, you have an easier job of securing it.

When I was a student back in NZ, I had a house down a long driveway that was broken into a couple times.

We installed a motion sensing halogen light. Basically the only way to the house was down the driveway, so it was pretty easy to control.

We also had some little alarm things that plugged into any wall socket in the house. It would let off a fairly quiet chirping sound whenever the light came on. Gave us enough warning to go out and see what had tripped the sensor. No idea what that little gadget was though, maybe someone else knows what I mean?
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,964
34
Attempted to get everything off of the pc and backed up, but it crashed instead (whoopsy!) So now it's of no use to anyone

WRONG.

All the data is still there and can be retrieved. If it doesn't work, hide it till it's fixed. Once it's fixed, encrypt it.

Once it's encrypted, if it's turned off, it really is a useless brick to anyone without the password.