[towelie]

Hi guys. My wife is getting back into riding again, but she seems to have less confidence than she did on her first day mtb-ing when we used to ride years ago. She has platform pedals, so she can jump off whenever she wants, but she won't even try things the least bit technical or steep. I'm talking about pretty minor technical obstacles here too...like a rock drop shorter than a curb on a 2% downgrade, or loose terrein on any downhill steep enough to require brakes to keep your speed under 8 mph. Same goes for sandpits (there is a LOT of sand around here), and even on buff singletrack I know she is only putting out about 1/3 of the effort she could. I know this because she can grind up some pretty damn steep, long hills. In fact, on some hills, she'll ride straight up them, but get off and walk the same hill going back down! She even says "I have a lot more strength than confidence". She totally psyches herself out, and whenever she falls she is pretty much finished for AT LEAST the rest of the day (same goes for when we ski) if not for several rides, even if it is a pretty minor fall. She is afraid of clipless pedals too, although her first ride on those she was kicking ass until she fell. After that I found she wouldn't even clip in, and was pedaling on her arch and heels to avoid the cleat, so I just put platforms back on. Since she usually wouldn't clip in, on the occasion she did she would forget and then tip over when she needed to get out, psyching herself out again.

She has the strength & balance (from yoga), and the bike can just about handle these obstacles on its own, but she'll never know without trying them out. How do I get her to loosen up, try these things out, and build some confidence without being pushy?

Oh yeah- I know that part of the problem is she keeps staring at her front wheel, so obstacles sneak up on her. She keeps getting mad if I suggest she look further down the trail though.

PLEASE HELP!! I want her to enjoy riding as much as I do, and I want us to enjoy it together.

 

[TreeSaw]

I agree with Damalur-sol. Get her some body armor. I use the same pads (661 2x4 arm guards and 4x4 leg guards) and they rock! I too used to be scared of the little things. I think her confidence will come with more time on the bike. I know it sounds mean, but the more she crashes the better. She will learn to fall and with the body armor, won't get hurt so that may give her some confidence to try harder things.

You really have to be her cheerleader. Cheer her on all the time and make sure it's fun. Also, it helps to warn her of things coming up and then slow down and demonstrate good form and the best line through. If she is still afraid, let her walk for now, but keep pumping her up and telling her that you know she can do it. It doesn't hurt for you to demonstrate what she's doing wrong and crash too...you'll both get to laugh together and it may help her to see how her body weight is wrong and what she can do to tackle the tough obstacles.

Also, are there any women riders in your area? Try to pair her up with a few of them for some rides. I found that I was able to ride some sketchy things when I was riding with another chick that I probably would not have tried with the guys. Plus, women are quite competetive with one another and will work harder in front of each other (at least I do...sometimes).

I really tend to believe that confidence is directly related to amount of time on the bike. The more she rides, the more confidence she will gain. It may take baby steps, but she'll get there.

 

[Snacks]

I rode for about a year and a half on flats before finally moving to clips. Now I wouldn't dare ride flats ever again, even after crashing for what seemed like months just trying to come unclipped. So just give her some time to move on to clips.

I started riding because my boyfriend did and for mainly another form of fitness. I'd be lying if I said I had a great time the first few times he took me out....I think we weren't talking by the end of most rides. I hated the way he told me how to ride, what to do, how to do it...blah blah blah. He was smart enough to realize that he'd been riding for 10+ years and forgot what it was like to not know how to ride, and to fear crashing. For my birthday he bought me some private lessons with a coach in our area, a good friend of his that has been teaching for a long time.

Durning my lesson we went over all of my fears and what I skills I wanted to work on...after just the first lesson (2 hrs) I felt on top of the world! I was so confident, I wanted to hit the trails asap. I also learned that riding was suppose to be fun. I stopped taking it so seriously and rode at my own pace. My bf was totally fine with waiting for me at the trail crossings if it meant I still liked him by the end of the ride.

I would suggest getting her some lesson time with a coach or find some all women clinics in your area.

 

[warthog]

Is she riding the same bike as before, or a different one? If it's a different one, check to see how well it fits. The better the fit, the more comfortable (both physically, and psychologically) she'll feel. A slightly shorter stem, or A taller bar can make a big difference in more technical terrain. Other than that, just spending as much time as possible on the bike is the best thing to do. If work/kids prevent getting alot of trail time, even 15 minutes everyday around the neighborhood can help with confidence.

 

[laura]

have been riding for 3 years and still ride with flats. building confidence just takes time. i used to be the same way, blasting up hills and then walking stuff that was ridiculously easy. the more she rides, the more confidence she will get. i stayed very unconfident until my first DH race. i raced on and xc bike and crashed three times with no pads. after that, i wasnt quite as scared any more. i still don't ride at my level, but thats what im comfortable doing. just get her out on the bike as much as possible. she'll get her legs back soon enough.

 

[SuzyCreamcheese]

Time is probably the most important thing and I don't mean time spent sorta waiting around for an epiphany. Riding a lot will begin to build confidence. It doesn't have to be a lot of the stuff that scares her, either. Just time on a bike, even (GASP) a road bike. Plus if it gets built up into a big deal, you'll lose her. Remember, most of us do this stuff because it's fun.

The Cheese

 

[MtnBikerChk]

I agree with the PADS! It's amazing the first time you fall square on your knee with pads on and stop and look at it and go, wow, that should really hurt (but it doesn't )

 

[towelie]

There are some good suggestions here. Thanks, everyone. I only know one woman who rides, and she is a 24 hour soloist, so my wife is a bit intimidated with riding with her, and also will be a lot slower than this woman. I'll keep my eyes open though.

So, is there any affordable, COMFORTABLE armor suitable for XC riding somebody could recomend?

 

[biggins]

i say pad her up and send her off a drop with a nice transition without her knowing.


of course im just kidding and dont really know what i am talking about.

 

[MtnBikerChk]

There are some good suggestions here. Thanks, everyone. I only know one woman who rides, and she is a 24 hour soloist, so my wife is a bit intimidated with riding with her, and also will be a lot slower than this woman. I'll keep my eyes open though.

So, is there any affordable, COMFORTABLE armor suitable for XC riding somebody could recomend?

start with knee/shin pads. I think the fox 911s are like $50?! Maybe cheaper for end of season.

 

[pnj]

find a local group of riders. I'm sure there is one where you live. that way she can find females that are at her level instead of super pro.

and what the others said, get some pads. I suggest going to the store and trying some on.

fwiw, I've been riding 20 plus years and still ride flats.
flats for life, yo.

 

[dhjill]

There are some good suggestions here. Thanks, everyone. I only know one woman who rides, and she is a 24 hour soloist, so my wife is a bit intimidated with riding with her, and also will be a lot slower than this woman. I'll keep my eyes open though.

So, is there any affordable, COMFORTABLE armor suitable for XC riding somebody could recomend?

If she's still riding come summertime, send her down to the Women's Only Weekend in Big Bear (www.teambigbear.com for more details). This is a great event for women of all skill levels...and since the majority of the participants are from the SoCal region, she might discover some riding partners. I've been an instructor at this event for the past 5 or 6 years and I can almost guarantee she'd love it.

I think pairing her up some some other women who are at her same skill level would be key...when you are new, riding with a group of people who seem to ride so effortlessly and fast can be really intimidating.

As you know, the looking ahead thing is HUGE. When I give clinics, I encourage the gals I'm working with to take baby steps. When they feel like they are getting into trouble and want to grab a handful of brake, I tell them to make a conscious effort to look ahead with their chin up (important, because you can still look ahead and have your chin buried in your chest) and let go of their brakes...even if it's just for a few seconds before reverting back to the "bad" way. Once they feel the control they get even for just a couple of seconds, it doesn't take long to start breaking the habit. So there's my 2 cents worth! Good luck!

 

[towelie]

Hey- thanks for all the advice everyone. I asked the same question on another forum and got a little flaming for it. You people are nice.

I asked her if she wanted some pads, but she thinks they'll be too hot and uncomfortable. I guess we'll see how it goes.

We're probably going to get her a Women's FSR-XC. It could have a nicer fork and brakes, but it'll be fine for now and the fit is great.

For riding time, well, this isn't a very good time of year. It looks like one ride on the weekend will have to suffice for now.

That Big Bear women's weekend is a good idea, Jill. Unfortunately it isn't for another 7 months! I just remembered a bike shop in the area has a woman owner. She'll probably know where she can go for group rides, clinics, etc. so I'll talk to her this week.

Also, if anyone reading this knows some beginner to intermediate women looking for riding partners in the Santa Barbara/San Luis Obispo area, give us a call.

Thanks
-Towelie

 

[Special K]

With pads -- I agree, the fox 911s are the best! I am about 5'6" and medium build and the elbow pads fit me great!
I had a huge confidence problem when I started riding, especially downhill. But, when people would demonstrate things to me, it was definitely a big confidence builder. My boyfriend would take me out riding and demonstrate something and then have me try it, until I got it. Once I could do something, such as rolling down a big rock, I tried more things... Pick some easy trails and then just ride those for a while... then move on...
Also, when my boyfriend put disc brakes on my bikes -- it really helped my riding. I felt more clean through turns and steep sections.. They make a big difference!!
I was a hillclimber and downhill walker, but now the downhills are my favorite!! It just takes time.

 

[BikeGeek]

She has to want to improve, but the pads will definitely help. I just went through the same thing with my wife. The first thing I did was devote a couple of rides a month to just the two of us. I never rode beyond her ability and I never pushed her to ride anything. If we came to a log/rock/roots I didn't think she could easily roll, I'd yell "bad log/rock/roots" and keep going. She finally asked "how do I do that?" I had her watch me ride certain things while I talked about body position, braking, momentum, etc., but still never pushed her to ride anything. If I ever crashed on an obstacle, I'd explain exactly what I did wrong, and then ride it again to show her it was rideable. One day as I turned to yell "bad log" I saw her ride right over it.

Another thing you can do is check with local clubs and shops for beginners clinics. They do a lot of them around here. They're usually free, and riding with others of the same skill-level helps reduce some of the intimidation.

 

[goodtobeIrie]

Hey- thanks for all the advice everyone. I asked the same question on another forum and got a little flaming for it. You people are nice.

-Towelie

I was gonna ask about which forum and then I checked cuz I figured I knew which one you were talking about...Don't worry about those people...I won't even post one word in that forum...they just love to flame there...especially the men...although some of them are really nice...

As far building confidence for the little lady, sometimes it just takes time...The biggest thing my SO and I found out is that when he tries to really push me I just get defiant and refuse to do anything...or I try it, sometimes wreck, and when I do I blame it on him for making me do something I didn't want to try in the first place...but we tend to have a go at who wears the pants around here so that could be part of it... I really suggest just letting her go at her own pace...I know that when I feel the most freedom to ride how I want to that I become more curious about what I can do rather than what someone tells me I can do...make sense?? probably not...other than that I can say that most important thing about being comfortable riding is that my bike is comfortable...make sure she really likes the fit of her bike...Good Luck...and believe me, you guys aren't the only ones to deal with it...I've gone my own way plenty of times on the trail and ridden all the way home by myself... ...heck, sometimes I've ridden my best when I'm that mad...but it always leaves me with a smile...
yeah I'm stubborn, I know...

Oh and there's one word you can't say enough when it comes to riding with confidence for me....pads pads pads pads pads pads pads pads and more pads...

 

[towelie]

I asked her if she was interested in pads, but she thinks they'll be too uncomfortable and hot.

 

[pnj]

I know there is a local group of riders down there, ask at the local bike shop.

up here we have the BBTC and they have group rides all the time for people of all levels. Ladys tend to like to ride with their own when they are starting out.

pads can get hot but you can get ones that are open in the back (like shin pads) and ones that vent well. it's worth the sweaty legs when you fall on a sharp rock and can get back up and get back on your bike and keep on rollin' down the trail.

she wears a helmet, why not wear pads?
I know a lady that got a bike, rode three times and fell really hard once. she has never been back on her bike. that was about seven years ago.

take her to a shop and try out some different pads and gloves. well worth it.

 

[goodtobeIrie]

I asked her if she was interested in pads, but she thinks they'll be too uncomfortable and hot.

Yeah, I know what riding in full pads and full face helmet and being hot is...It gets to be 110 degrees where I live...that's when I go with elbows and a hard plate chest cover......It's something she's going to have to get over if she wants to ride and not get injured everytime she falls...It took me a while cuz at first they made me feel closterphobic(seriously, I'd start panicking when I got way too hot)...In all honesty it sounds like it might be an excuse not to ride...are you sure she really wants to in the first place??

 

[towelie]

Yeah- she still wants to ride, just not with pads. She isn't using it as an excuse. In fact, she is at the bike shop right now (on her way home from work) checking out some bikes and talking with the owner (woman owner). I thought I'd sit this one out so she can do her own thing.

 

[pnj]

Yeah- she still wants to ride, just not with pads. She isn't using it as an excuse. In fact, she is at the bike shop right now (on her way home from work) checking out some bikes and talking with the owner (woman owner). I thought I'd sit this one out so she can do her own thing.

good call on letting her do her own thing.

as for pads, I was talking about light knee/shin and maybe elbow pads. and gloves of course.

it also depends on the type of riding. most cross country riding will allow you to get away with less pads then full on downhill.

 

[goodtobeIrie]

Yeah- she still wants to ride, just not with pads. She isn't using it as an excuse. In fact, she is at the bike shop right now (on her way home from work) checking out some bikes and talking with the owner (woman owner). I thought I'd sit this one out so she can do her own thing.

I don't know man...I couldn't live without my pads...but maybe she's better off without them though...Maybe talking to another female will help her out quite a bit...and nice work on letting her go alone...
maybe if you just get her knee/shin pads and talk her into trying to use them like 5 times, it'll take that long to get used to them at least...then she can make up her mind at the end...I tell ya, I hated them at first but love knowing they're there when I'm about to eat it now...but it does depend on what kind of riding I'm doing...if it's flatter XC, I don't wear any pads...but where I live, most of the XC trails you ride up and then bomb down or get a good techy switchback...Good Luck with it all...hope she finds a bike she likes...

 

[Snacks]

Yeah- she still wants to ride, just not with pads. She isn't using it as an excuse. In fact, she is at the bike shop right now (on her way home from work) checking out some bikes and talking with the owner (woman owner). I thought I'd sit this one out so she can do her own thing.

I never wore pads while starting out on XC....even when learning clips. I just didn't feel comfortable with them on. Granted I have crashed hard riding XC, breaking my collar bone , but pads wouldn't have saved me there.

Just let her do her own thing and be supportive if she does ask for your assistance

 

[Btyler311]

When my wife's bike comes in this weekend I am going to try something with her that helped me as a newby.

Before we trail ride anything relatively difficult I'll take her out and teach her to lift the front and ride up over curbs and medians etc. Also ride on twisty stretches of side walk and such at a fast pace until she is confident going over obstacles in a semi controlled environment so that when she sees them on looser terrain with trees whizzing by her head it won't be so stressfull and might even seem a little like second nature to her.

Of course here in S. FL the majot obstacles are roots and manmade things that street riding can actually prepare you for, I don't think it would prep her for any actual "mountain" biking.

I may take all your word for it and pick her up some pads though. She does want to go clpiless as I told her how much better power and efficiancy you get out of it. I don't want her to slow drop onto the driveway and hurt her knee or an elbow and they say screw it I'm done.

Ty