[towelie]

My dog died a few weeks ago, and I thought THAT was hard, so it is difficult for me to comprehend how much more you must be going through, but I'll do as best as I can here.

It'll be a long grieving process. As hard as it must be for you, it is probably even more difficult for the survivors of the crash. Be strong and supportive for them- they need comforting, support, certainty and confidence more than ever. And be thankful the three of you still have each other. It sounds as though this crash was dangerously close to being even worse. I'm sure it is difficult to imagine, but time will begin to heal and things won't always be as bad as the seem right now.

 

[Repack]

I just do not know what to say, other than that I am sorry.

You have been forced to become their "rock". Just don't be afraid to let them support you as well.

 

[stosh]

I lost 2 family members last year and one was due to a car accident. I hadn't had someone die in my family in years so I had no idea how it felt. My prayers are with ya man!

 

[Dartman]

 

[DNA]

I don't know what to say either. I'm sorry.

 

[BigMike]

Wow man, I'm soo sorry. These past few weeks have been really messed up. One of my rommates best friends died last week, A girl I knew in high school hanged herself this past weekend at a theatre conference, and now this.

Just be glad that one of your daughters and wife are still OK. I always try to look on the bright side of things, even in the worst situations. I've been in that type of accident. We got broadsided by an 18 wheel asphalt truck towing a backhoe. I'm sorry you had to go through this, my thoughts are with you

R.I.P. Shelby Hyland and Alexa Hightower

 

[Tully]

I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. You're in my prayers, and may God bless you and your family as you deal with this loss.

 

[mantispf2000]

Shocktower--

If you read Echo message, he's right-- I lost my daughter, Alaina Sage Lester, on February 4, 2003, to croup. F*****G croup!! So please, believe me when I say I really do know how and what you are feeling (if you can, look up my thread here, A Little Monkey Goes to Heaven). I've read the posts here, and the one that said "cry a lot"-- DO IT!!! You will. It's been 21 months for me, and I still have breakdowns, even when driving. It won't be easy, and all that will happen is that you will learn how to prepare for the emotional waves that will hit. Some easy, others will be too much to bear. I still put all the blame on me for Alaina going to Heaven, and there has not been one person, whether it be counselling, the preacher that gave Alaina's service, or family or friends, that has said something to get me to change my feelings. The words of support I have read here bring back the support that this group of "monkeys" has shown me. I know people will say she's in a better place, but how can it be a better place if it's not your arms, holding/hugging her for all you're worth??

Shock, I don't care what the time, or what the reason, I want you to call me. I'm serious, YOU CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!! My wife and I are chapter leaders for the support Compassionate Friends (compassionatefriends.org), so we've been very (I hate to use the word) blessed that we can help others and be helped. I hope that those that read this post will be respectful of me leaving my number for Shock, so here it is-- 775-265-5468(home) or 775-450-1390(cell). YOU CALL ME, SHOCK, YOU HEAR???? I will listen, I will talk, I will be here for you, I will help however I can.

My mind is racing, I want to help. The hardest thing is that first call, Shock. Please, make the call.

Shawn

 

[punkassean]

Shock,

hang in there buddy, do whatever feels right to you in order to deal with this and don't be afraid of not being there for other people aside from your wife and daughter right now and until you are ready. The main person you need to be worrying about is you!!! Don't worry about Alexa (or Shelby), she doesn't know what happened and she does not feel any pain where she is now. Just be with the ones you love and hug and cry and share stories.

I am so sorry for your loss, I can't fathom the pain of losing a child and having your whole world turned upside down in a flash. 4 years ago I lost my only brother to a long drawn out battle with melanoma and then lost a best friend who was with my family every step of the way through my brothers illness to a terrible car accident out of the blue. I know you wish you could have her back if only for just a second to tell her how much you love her. Well believe me she knows!!!

If there is anything I/we can do to ease your pain, please do not hesitate to ask. If you want to talk about any of it to get it off your chest we are here for you and your family!

I am so, so sorry man. Be strong, your family needs you! My :heart: goes out to you and yours...

 

[lanman]

I can't even fathom the pain that you are in right now...that is so sad, you have my deepest condolences and I hope that you are able to deal with this

 

[E441]

Shocktower,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Be strong your family needs you.

 

[Zman]

wow, so sorry to hear about that. to be honest i wish i could say something to try and make it better, but for something along those lines there really are no words that will work. just my deepest condolences, and maybe that time will help, not necessarily heal but help. i hope the rest of your family does well and heals quickly with no long term problems. best of wishes to all of you and hope it all works out.

 

[me89]

man i am so sorry for your loss. just remember that God has a plan for everyone and that she is in such a better place right now. if you think about that and how much better off she is up with God in heaven right now you will be able to get threw this terrible time. just keep on praying and chuggin along man thats all we can do. again i am terribly sorry for your loss and you and your family and your daughters friend family will be in my prayers. and this weekend i will dedicate the ride to your little girl and her friend. i am so sorry for you loss i wish there was something more that i could do.

 

[derekpearson]

My thoughts are with you. Thats such a hard thing - I cant even imagine the pain you must feel right now. Best wishes to you.

 

[Toshi]

Seek counseling asap.

shocktower, i offer my most sincere condolences. that's an awful thing to have happen. do look into getting therapy, don't repress what you feel.

 

[Spunger]

Man, sorry to hear this! Keep your head up, but take the time to do what you need to do so you can grieve. I like many others here can't imagine loosing a child or possibly wife and child. That is some serious bad news.

I'd take up anyone who offers to talk. Venting sometimes can be the best thing. Talk to who you need to, take care of yourself as needed and be there for you're wife and rest of your family. I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but she needs you. She also lost a child. Just deal with it anyway you can. There's no wrong way.

Good luck man, my sympathy's with you and your family

 

[TreeSaw]

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I would definately recommend talking to someone (either professionally or personally) about the situation. Try to remain strong for your wife and daughter. My prayers for comfort and strength are with you during this awful time!

 

[manimal]

i can't imagine the pain you must be going through. my kids are my life. i'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[berkshire_rider]

Wow. Like the others, there are no words. I'm so sorry for your loss. Give Shawn / mantispf2000 a call, it can only help.

 

[thruster]

man i am so sorry for your loss. just remember that God has a plan for everyone and that she is in such a better place right now. if you think about that and how much better off she is up with God in heaven right now you will be able to get threw this terrible time. just keep on praying and chuggin along man thats all we can do. again i am terribly sorry for your loss and you and your family and your daughters friend family will be in my prayers. and this weekend i will dedicate the ride to your little girl and her friend. i am so sorry for you loss i wish there was something more that i could do.

This pretty much sums it up for me too. I will pray for you also. I have such a soft spot for kids and I don't know why God would take them away from us.

 

[jaydee]

Geez, Shocktower, there are no words to express how sad I feel for you. All I can say is that a short life is still a full life, and it sounds as if she has had a wonderful family on earth and a lot of happiness. What are now painful memories will become priceless.

 

[BarbaRosa]

Shocktower.... When ever I hear of stuff like this I have a moment of silent emptiness as I ask myself where my 7 yr old girl is. By this time you have likely had to bear the funeral, it is so important to grieve and to honor. Perhaps buying that bike anyway and donating it to a cause or starting a program that each year teaches bike saftey to kids and gives out helmets in your daughters memory.

But, regardless, your wife and living child will need gentle car to heal the physical wounds as well as the emotional spiritual wounds. You too will need support outside of your imediate family unit. If you can, have a brother or sister or father or best friend be strong for you for a little while and you take a moment to let the feelings happen that you need to so you can support your family.

My prayers thoughts and tears are with you.

justin in colorado, the redbeard guy

 

[partsbara]

jeez shock... i don t really know what to say right now but i am truly sorry for your loss... stay strong mate

partsbara

 

[samich457]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Having a child myself I cant imagine losing him. Stay strong my friend. You have alot of friends here to help you through this tragic time. My thoughts are with you and your family :heart:

 

[LeeOz]

So sorry to hear that man... I never lost a close family member yet, so I cannot know how you feel. The day it will happen I'll probably snap.

It's going to be really hard but you will have to be there for your wife and your other daughter. They will count on you for care, love and support. And you should have someone to support you through this as well.

condolences from a fellow rider

 

[Instigator]

I am at a loss......I am so very sorry.

Please know that many people do care and hope that you can get through this. You and all involved are in my prayers.

 

[shocktower]

I`am thankful for all of your replys and condolences and I will seek professional help to recover from this horriable death .This could have been a the loss of my wife and both daughters so I`am lucky in that aspect ,but I still will cry out loud in public because my girl Alley was so much to me :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: ,I will post a picture or 2




Allley I love you and I miss you so much :heart: :heart: :heart:

 

[DRB]

I can offer nothing except my most heartfelt thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

 

[Cajonezzz]

my condolences and prayers for you and your family....

and, having just lost my mom suddenly last week, I'd like to suggest this book that was given to me, and is helping lot's.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060952733/002-7778207-7919210?v=glance

I'd buy you a copy if I had your address.

Much love to you and yours.

craig

 

[bikebabe]

I am *so* sorry to hear of your loss Tom. We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[cliffster5]

Hi ST, the loss of your daughter was one of the hardest things I've ever read about on RM. You have my deepest sympathies along with the rest of the RM community I am sure for this terrible loss.

 

[Clark Kent]

Stay strong man. My heart is with you and your family.

 

[ADSfreeride]

My condolences to your family in this tragic event. I will pray for strength and peace for you, and a speedy recovery for your wife and daughter. I am truly sorry. Chris

 

[KPicha]

Reading this story brings tears to my eyes. My children are almost the same ages as yours and it breaks my heart and leaves an empty hole thinking what it would be like w/o any one of them.

I can hardly imagine what you and your wife are going through. Thank God you have each other - don't pull away, sometimes it take your greatest effort not to! This is when your marriage will be tested and taken to the next level. I will keep you guys in my prayers!!- Kristina

PS- Do you have any pictures of her? I'm sure we'd all love to see her beautiful smile!

PPs-Craig I am truly sorry to hear of your mother's passing, too. Although, you probably feel like a zombie now and you relive every moment of the day of her passing, time does heal all wounds but you don't forget. My dad passed away from cancer three and a half years ago and it does get easier.

 

[lovebunny]

man shock thats soo terrible. im deeply sorry. i just cannot fathom what that wouild be like. closest i came was when i lost my grandma and that was terrible. as soon as i read this i sat there for a second and said a prayer for your daughter and your wife and your other daughter. you have my deepest condolences. im very sorry

 

[Arm On Fire]

That is the saddest thing I can imagine, I'm not religious, but I'm saying a prayer for you and your family.
Stay strong, I know its easier said than done, but you have changed my outlook as far as my life is concerned. I definately will let my 4 yo girl get away with a little more and just enjoy being with her.

Again, I'm sorry this happened.

 

[Wallstreetbiker]

I've got tears in my eyes just reading this, and thinking about how devastated I would be if I lost my daughter. Be well and be strong for your family. My sincere condolences.