[shocktower]

With all of the tragety in my life this year I found out how selfish and Effed up my parents are ,here`s some examples like my dad sent my Daughter Alexa birthday card ,I got it 2 day`s after she was killed in the card was a gift card from wal-mart ,well when he came to my house to see me ,he asked for the card back ,and now the topper his birthday was the 26 of Novemeber ,well I just never got around to sending him a card I treid to call but no one was home ,so he calls me and let`s me know that I missed his B-day ,I told him yes and I`am sorry but I have had some thing`s on my mind ( Like my daughter was killed 29 day`s before it ) his respond is well it`s been a month since that happened ,Like I lost a pair of shoe or some thing like that ,is that a piece of work or what .That fricking A-hole never even told me he was sorry for the loss of my Alexa ,sorry for all the rant but some times the crap just flows easaly your way

 

[HRDTLBRO]

Damn man,
That's horrible. I'm sorry about the loss, and your arse father. My parents aren't as f'ed up. My fathers' been divorced six times, possibly more, i've lost count...My mother just got divorced a 3rd time in August. I had left for a weekend and she had just moved our crap out of a house we had just moved into. I still see my stepfather of nine years occasionally, and he's an awesome father and nice guy. I'm saddened to say i've had a stronger realationship with my stepfather than my birth father. My real father can't keep a relationship because he is so analytical and worships perfectionism. In all honesty, he attracts some crazy bitches. Both him and I had to put up with abuse several years ago from his wife. He divorced, then re-married her two years later, only for it to happen again. We've started to build a stronger bond now that he is a bit more relaxed, and his current wife is very nice. I'm skeptical as to how long it will last, unfortunetly. This sh** sucks, and sadly, it's becoming the norm in America. There's not much to be done now, but to just deal.

 

[dexterq20]

All I can say is that fathers suck sometimes. I honestly cannot fathom what you have been going thru during the past month or so, but I can sympathize with your feelings towards your dad. My dad and I have never had a great relationship, and he constantly shows a lack of compassion and caring when I am feeling low and am in need of some support. I think this is far more common than we realize, kind of along the lines of the whole "I hate my father" issue that everyone seems to suffer from, but hot damn, it just doesn't seem fair sometimes, does it? Just be strong, punch a pillow, and don't be afraid to tell him how he makes you feel.

 

[blue]

My parents are Mormons, if it's any consolation

 

[flatulant_man]

my parents are cool, it's my dad's parents i can't stand. They are so critical of everything i do. my grandfather started yelling at me on CHRISTMAS for dropping a pea on my placemat. that's what the f***ing this is for! and my grandma never stops making subtle remarks about my weight. and i'm not even fat! My body build is fine! and she tells my dad about all these obscure family members who are "so successful," they have more money than us, but all these, like, third cousins have been divorced like twice, and they never stop hounding us for things.

 

[konabiker]

really sorry about the loss of your daughter. that is something no one should have to go through.

that was very effed up of your dad. i can not image how bad that must feel.

stay strong.

 

[N8 v2.0]

With all of the tragety in my life this year I found out how selfish and Effed up my parents are ,here`s some examples like my dad sent my Daughter Alexa birthday card ,I got it 2 day`s after she was killed in the card was a gift card from wal-mart ,well when he came to my house to see me ,he asked for the card back ,and now the topper his birthday was the 26 of Novemeber ,well I just never got around to sending him a card I treid to call but no one was home ,so he calls me and let`s me know that I missed his B-day ,I told him yes and I`am sorry but I have had some thing`s on my mind ( Like my daughter was killed 29 day`s before it ) his respond is well it`s been a month since that happened ,Like I lost a pair of shoe or some thing like that ,is that a piece of work or what .That fricking A-hole never even told me he was sorry for the loss of my Alexa ,sorry for all the rant but some times the crap just flows easaly your way

Jesus.... that's f'ed up...

I'd say that something like that is grounds for you to completely disassociate with your pops.

That's totally out of line and there is flat out no excuse for it other than total selfishness and a total lack of respect on your dad's part.

 

[manziman]

I'm sorry about the loss of your daughter, and my dad is like that a lot. I am going to boston in a couple days so I went out to REI to buy some stuff. I had asked my dad what to get and we went over a list of what to get. I went with one of my friends and came home happy. He looks at all of it and just calls me an idiot and stupid, right in front of my best friend. I kind of sat there like "wtf is wrong with this man? how am I still alive" Well, again, i'm sorry about your daughter.

 

[mack]

Sorry that happened, thats horrible.

I have ****ed up parents too. My mom yelled at me on the night of 9/11 for lighting candles on the front door step. I also have ****ed up relatives, who all hate me for who i am, a typical teenage smartass who rides bikes.

The world is full of assholes that you have to love or show respect for. It is unfair.

 

[JMAC]

Thats awefull what I don't get is this was your daughter but his grand-daughter wtf. I would have thought he would be almost if not as hurt as you. Either way I;m sorry you have to deal with crap like this is life. Life is never fair.

 

[chicodude]

Echo's gone on a rampage today

I agree with N8 about that it would be a bad thing if you completely disassociate with him. I can't imaging what thats like.


I guess I am lucky, I have a very supporting family, which I get along with great.

 

[dhtahoe]

We spend 18 yrs in the comfort and security of our parents home, and spend the rest of our lives repairing the damage.

 

[-dustin]

My parents are Mormons, if it's any consolation

all the mormon parents i have met have been cool as a cucumber. i like mormons.

shocktower - damn, dude. like the others said, i think this might be grounds to pretty much disassociate. has the relationship always been like this?

 

[dexterq20]

We spend 18 yrs in the comfort and security of our parents home, and spend the rest of our lives repairing the damage.

I'll back that statement 100%.

 

[blue]

all the mormon parents i have met have been cool as a cucumber. i like mormons.

Fanatacism+Forced Religion=EVIL CUCUMBER.

Seriously. They're crazy. Next year...coll-edge...thank god...
:nuts:

 

[Acadian]

Very sorry to hear bro

As for me, I can honestly say that I have some of the best parents in the world...they are my idols. I wouldn’t be were I am today without them. :love:

 

[Konabumm]

sorry for you loss

 

[pixelninja]

Shocktower - Once again I'm very sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad is off living in his own little private reality. That sucks that he doesn't appear to care about the death of his grandchild.

Luckily for me, I've been blessed with wonderful parents. Sure, I didn't like their rules when growing up, but I always knew they loved me and were looking out for me. Now that I'm grown up and moved away, I miss them. When my daughter was born, I started a web photo gallery of her so they could share in her growing up. Every time I put up new pic's, my mom emails me telling me how much she loves it and how cute my daughter is. They were always there for me, and always supported me, even if they didn't agree with me. I love my parents. I would die for my parents and I know they would do the same for me and all my siblings. I'm very lucky.

 

[JRogers]

Shocktower, screw them. Some people are just not worth taking seriously. I can't imagine acting like that towards anyone, let alone my own son. Ridiculous.

I have been blessed with good parents. I am not that "close" to them, in a sense, but they made a lot of good decisions in my life. I guess I have recently realized how much they have done for me over the years and how little I have appreciated them for it. Stuff like this makes me realize how good I've had it in my privileged life. Also makes me realize that good parents aren't everything and how good people can come from anywhere.

 

[Kornphlake]

Fanatacism+Forced Religion=EVIL CUCUMBER.

Seriously. They're crazy. Next year...coll-edge...thank god...
:nuts:

I know you're likely having one of those punk kid moments stifled by utah mormon culture, and I don't really know what it's like not having grown up in utah, still give your parents some credit. IIRC one of your first posts on this board was how you'd wrecked your parents minivan on the way out to the airport to pick up some bike part that was sent through a courrier service. I could dig up a link to it but I think I remember the jist of it well enough to paraphrase. At some point you'd candidly admitted it was totally your fault. When someone pointed out that taking responsiblity for your actions was commendable for someone your age you actually stated that you have good parents who brought you up right. Unless a lot has changed since spring you are totally out of line saying that their "fanatacism+forced religion" has made you a detriment to society. So you may disagree with your parents religion but really, what have they done to you that has been bad for you? Your dad couldn't possibly be worse than Shocktower's, keep things in perspective.

 

[Silver]

Shocktower, that may just be the most ****ed up thing I've ever heard someone do to their kid. I'm so sorry man, I can't imagine that at all...if he's like that all of the time (instead of just shock) I'd wouldn't see him until his funeral...

 

[Brian HCM#1]

I'm sorry to hear that, you've gone through enough sh*t lately and don't need to add this fuel to the fire. That is one of the worst things I've ever heard

 

[I Are Baboon]

Damn Shocktower, talk about pouring salt on your wound, eh? You'd think your father would be a little more compassionate.

As far as the bad parenting thing goes, I have not seen or heard from my father since 1985, so yeah, dads can suck sometimes.

 

[Slugman]

I'd say that something like that is grounds for you to completely disassociate with your pops.

That's totally out of line and there is flat out no excuse for it other than total selfishness and a total lack of respect on your dad's part.

I'd have to agree with N8... (Man that hurt to type).

I'll leave out the details, but I will say that my relationship with my folks has become a very distant one. I still talk to them once in a while, but I no longer let the back stabbing, self centered, and ignorant comments that they make just slide by, which is what I used to in order to not 'stir the pot'.

I am 33 and I feel that I only really became an adult 2 years ago when I got in my folks face and challenged them. It was sad since I had always been the one to keep the peace in our family, but sooner or later you need to do what is best for you, not others. Right now you need to grieve, and care for your surviving family members.

You're father needs to get grip, that is for sure. However, right now your emotions are out of whack because of a terrible loss. When you do confront him, do not let the pain and anger over the loss of your daughter cloud the situation with him.

 

[dh girlie]

Yeah that was kinda harsh dude...Shocktower was not focusing on the horrible unfortunate and untimely death of his daughter...he was venting on the insensitive-ness (if there is such a word) of his own father...

 

[TheInedibleHulk]

Fanatacism+Forced Religion=EVIL CUCUMBER.

Seriously. They're crazy. Next year...coll-edge...thank god...
:nuts:

My parents are extremely chrisitan and dorky, but they are very loving and usually pretty understanding. Other peoples fathers, even though they may seeem cooler or more fun at times, make me appreciate my own. My dad is kinda of a workaholic and an intellectual, but he has and extremely mellow temper and alot of wisdom to go with it. When I came home at 17 with a speeding ticket for 110 in a 55 with 1400 dollars in fines, he didnt blow his top.. he just thought about it for a while and then told me what the punishment would be. Ended up going 6 months without the car. Forutnately he never found out about any of the drinking or drugs I did in high school, it would have broken his heart. I dont think its a big deal and it never really caused any problems, but to him I'm sure it would have been catastrophic.

Shocktower, like a couple people already said, if you want to I dont see anything wrong with stopping talking to your father all together. The other option I would consider would be to confront him in no uncertian terms about what a heartless jackass he is being. If he has any human in him whatsoever, the idea of not speaking to his son for the rest of his life should bring him around. Then again you would think losing a grandaughter would have already done that, so who knows. Good luck and once again, my heart is with you about your daughter. God Bless.

 

[dh girlie]

My dads a real f'er too. He cheated on my mom and divorced her when I was 5. My mom was an at home mom and was left with 4 kids ranging from age 5 to 17 and a brand new house. She busted her ass to support us, and my older sister had to grow up real quick to help her out. He married a woman barely older than my oldest sister (she was actually very cool) but then she cheated on his ass and divorced him (what goes around comes around) and then he met his current whore, bitch c word wife who drove a stake into any relationship me and my dad might've been able to salvage. He complained about paying child support while he lived lavishly (new cars, nice trips, nice clothes and shoes). Since I was so little and didnt know he didn't give a crap about seeing me, it kinda rolled off my back, but it really affected my older siblings. Also, a few years ago he was on his deathbed and I was not working so I basically babysat him and waited on him and ran his errands, and one day he cried and told me how much he missed me and loved me and how he knew he was never a good dad, and wouldn't it be great to start over...well I felt like a real prick taking it with a grain of salt and being doubtful...but good thing...when he was feeling better I didn't hear from him anymore and when I called to see how he was, the whore bitch c word wife told me he was in Myrtle Beach golfing...I was glad he was well enough to travel and golf, but it was then that my doubts were confirmed that he was using me and really didn't give a crap about me. So I wrote him off. Since he lost control of the situation, he decided to f with me in other ways...like we go to the same medical group, and he is also diabetic so he knows my diabetic dr. Well he told HIS dr. to tell MY dr. that I was out of control and that I lied to her about my bloodsugar readings (yeah, I can fudge the test results of the tests SHE orders, which were well within the range she would like to see, thank you). It was such an invasion of my privacy and I have never been so pissed. It was NOT out of him caring, but him just trying to F with me. You can't choose your family and sometimes its best to write em off...

Sorry to hear your dad was such an insensitive prick, shocktower...

 

[Velocity Girl]

Sorry to hear that Shocktower. Completely inconsiderate and just downright wrong of you dad to do that.

I too happen to fall into the "real father is a pr*ck" group. Parents divorced when I was about 10, and he's been playing mind games with me ever since. Not to mention the incredible damage his second (c-word) wife did to our relationship. She was insanely jealous of my brother and I and would sabotage our time together or not let him see us. And he just let it all happen because he wanted his f**king promotion to General so damn bad. Can't have a second divorce on the record before recieving that shiny little star. Thankfully shortly after he got it she was out the door, but the damage was already beyond repair at that point....not to mention he simply can't put his mind around two key facts about his childern 1) we are not in the military and therefore do not have to obey his every order without question and 2) alot of our stubborness and bullheadedness comes from him!

I will say though that I have been blessed with the best step-father a person could have. I of course terrified him at first, because he had three boys and all of sudden had a 13 year old daughter to deal with....but wihtin a few short years he was one of my best friends and more of a dad to me than my sperm-donor of a father ever could be. Most people who don't know our family history are shocked to find out he's not my blood father because we act soooo much alike it's scary!

 

[Spunger]

Having F'ed up parents does suck. I think of mine as semi-disfunctional. My parents never really fought or anything, but they also showed no emotion for anything. So when it came time to date and what not it I was so lost. I had to models, I had nada. I got over that though. When it came down to school and grades and what not they preached about getting good ones, yet they were like C and D students. Go figure. I know my parents very well, but I really don't think they know me as well as they think. I think that's somewhat a part of growing up, but in the same sense I don't want to have that relationship with my children (someday). Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you are out for good (which is how I was, I am). I turned 18, everything stopped. While other kids went to collage and go to travel their first summer off, I got to work full time. Sure I had $$$ comming in but all the sudden it got expensive trying to provide food/gas/car insurance/bills everything being 18. By doing this it made me more independent which I look back on and like, but what parents basicly drop you when you're 18? I could still go home but it doesn't really feel like home anymore.

Plus when my parents divorced (when I was 18) didn't help either. I am turning 23 and my dad is back living at home, but he's just living there to have a place to sleep because he is odd and was homeless for a while. He works for the goverment and makes more than enough coin to rent a place but it's him, he didn't. He lived in his van for a while and then lived in his RV for a while. My mom has stayed where she's been, and I think with him around it makes things difficult, but they still get along enough to share a common space (which is good).

It just makes you wonder sometimes. I know where they get all their problems/traits from. Their own parents. I know my dad didn't have a mother which probably explains somethings to me about him and my mom has just a hillbilly retard family so that might explain some about her, but every child and person goes through life differently. I was a stright A student in Junior high. My brother can barely get a 2.0 in 8th grade. They talk to him and talk to him about how important things are. Well I am sure he knows that but maybe he doesn't care. I cared but as school went on the care and effort got less and less. Maybe he's at that point already. Nothing is going to change him, yelling at him, taking things away, nothing is going to do it. It just sucks.....I'll leave it at that.

To get to this post though, if my dad did what shocktower's dad did I'd probably want him gone for a long time. Seriously, compassionate or not, you just don't do that. It's common sense. It comes natural. I'd be like "F'off and go home" attitude. Stuff like that is what breaks a family apart for good man. Your dad should have been the last person on earth to make a comment like that. I still feel for ya and can understand where you are comming from. It's like "it's my sons life and well-being or a $20 walmart card...hmmm tuff choice". You know what I mean?

Hope all is well though with the holiday's and whatnot comming up fast. Just keep close with your family that is supportive (maybe not your dad) and take care of your wife and she'll take care of you. I still, typing this, can't imagine all the suffering and pain that goes on with loosing something like a child. Good luck with everything.

 

[dh girlie]

more of a dad to me than my sperm-donor of a father ever could be. etc., etc.

God lord...that's what I call MY dad! hahahaha!

 

[Velocity Girl]

God lord...that's what I call MY dad! hahahaha!

Too funny!!!!