Woke up this morning with the alarm at about 7 am. I had to go to work, but there was no set time as it was voluntary. (I'm trying to get ahead on our scheduled shipments in case Mrs. H8R goes into labor) I jump out of bed and turn off the alarm and I realize I am way more tired than I thought. Time to flop down for an hour or so more of snoozing before I go in. I sit down on the edge of the bed and as I go to lay down I scoot firmly toward the center.... ...solidly hip-checking my pregnant wife in the belly. I didn't notice that she'd rolled over toward my side as I got up to get the alarm. She screams out in total pain and panic. I am freaking out, not knowing WTF I did. After the pain won't go away for a few minutes she calls her midwife. Her belly is sore and crampy. The baby isn't moving at all. This goes on for about a half hour. The midwife on call suggests she eat something and drink something to get some sugar in her system to see if that kick-starts some baby movement. It does...but just a little bit. By now I am feeling like the biggest jerk on earth. Midwife tells us to go to the hospital for fetal monitoring and blood tests. Possible risk of placental separation. Went to the maternity ward, got all hooked up and she had some blood drawn. After an hour of monitoring everything looks ok but she is very tired and stressed out. Baby has a heart rate average of 145! I forgot a baby's heart goes that fast. They take the blood to test if there is any of the baby's blood cells mixed in with mama's, and to check if the blood is freaking out to coagulate. So for no word back from them, so I think we are ok. I suck. Mama is at home resting and sore. I am stuck at work. I am a fvcking idiot. I am sleeping on the couch from now on.