[Changleen]

It was decided that I will determine who gets the beatings and how bad they will be.

You get the first one, and it's gonna be just bad enough to keep you out of hospital, but it'll hurt to chew or take a deep breath for a couple of days.

 

[Reactor]

Rip is one angry dude.

The spirits say he'll be getting the angry pirate for the other inmates....but not on purpose.

 

[MikeD]

What's the deal with Rip?

I've voiced my opinions on capital punishment many times, so I'll stay out of this one...

 

[Tenchiro]

Either that or he just REALLY wanted a warm sandwich, was technically illiterate and couldn't use a microwave. Or maybe he had great big fingers and couldn't press the little buttons. THAT'D be frustrating.

Maybe she was a lazy, jobless harpy who nagged him 24/7. Then one day after he worked his second fulltime job, whithout a day off in the last three weeks, and just wanted to come home to watch some TV and eat a warm meal she pushed him too far and that was it.

Say that he sat down with a warm beer (because she took it out of the fridhe to make room for her makeup) and while blowing her nails dry she started nagging him again, this time because he hadn't hand washed her bra. Then while cooking his grilled cheese, and maybe rushing it a little too much due to her complaining, he sat down took a bite and god damn it, the cheese wasn't melted. After 16 hours flipping burgers, working as a janitor and getting yelled at by his 17 year old supervisor he was just too tired to heat it up a little more and asked his girl to nuke it for a minute or so.

Then she wigged out started harping about how he didn't keep her in the lifestyle in which Britney keeps Cletus, and how she was moving back in with her mother (for the third time). He simply snapped while his sandwhich had 20 seconds to go, picked up the oven and you know the rest.

At first he was frantic because as she layed there sputtering blood and oozing brain tissue all over the stained, bare particle board of their trailer, he didn't want to leave the woman he had loved since they were in Mr. Sullivan's PE class in 8th grade. He dashed to the neighbors, but finding they weren't home ran back to check on her. Then while standing over her mostly lifeless body he remembered the years she had sat at home while he toiled his life away. How she banged the Mexican groundskeeper on the second Tuesday of every month, and the mailman every other Thursday. How she used her spiteful, horselike mother to goad him into going furinture shooping. How she forced him to clean after her poodle when it crapped in the bedroom.

Then he realized the harpy was gone forever, and he did the only sensible thing. Grab a cold beer, giggle uncontrollably for the next hour and breathed his last free breath.

 

[BurlyShirley]

Maybe she was a lazy, jobless harpy who nagged him 24/7. Then one day after he worked his second fulltime job, whithout a day off in the last three weeks, and just wanted to come home to watch some TV and eat a warm meal she pushed him too far and that was it.

Say that he sat down with a warm beer (because she took it out of the fridhe to make room for her makeup) and while blowing her nails dry she started nagging him again, this time because he hadn't hand washed her bra. Then while cooking his grilled cheese, and maybe rushing it a little too much due to her complaining, he sat down took a bite and god damn it, the cheese wasn't melted. After 16 hours flipping burgers, working as a janitor and getting yelled at by his 17 year old supervisor he was just too tired to heat it up a little more and asked his girl to nuke it for a minute or so.

Then she wigged out started harping about how he didn't keep her in the lifestyle in which Britney keeps Cletus, and how she was moving back in with her mother (for the third time). He simply snapped while his sandwhich had 20 seconds to go, picked up the oven and you know the rest.

At first he was frantic because as she layed there sputtering blood and oozing brain tissue all over the stained, bare particle board of their trailer, he didn't want to leave the woman he had loved since they were in Mr. Sullivan's PE class in 8th grade. He dashed to the neighbors, but finding they weren't home ran back to check on her. Then while standing over her mostly lifeless body he remembered the years she had sat at home while he toiled his life away. How she banged the Mexican groundskeeper on the second Tuesday of every month, and the mailman every other Thursday. How she used her spiteful, horselike mother to goad him into going furinture shooping. How she forced him to clean after her poodle when it crapped in the bedroom.

Then he realized the harpy was gone forever, and he did the only sensible thing. Grab a cold beer, giggle uncontrollably for the next hour and breathed his last free breath.

Seriously, I bet you're closer to the truth than you meant to be.

 

[Changleen]

Maybe she was a lazy, jobless harpy who nagged him 24/7. Then one day after he worked his second fulltime job, whithout a day off in the last three weeks, and just wanted to come home to watch some TV and eat a warm meal she pushed him too far and that was it.

Say that he sat down with a warm beer (because she took it out of the fridhe to make room for her makeup) and while blowing her nails dry she started nagging him again, this time because he hadn't hand washed her bra. Then while cooking his grilled cheese, and maybe rushing it a little too much due to her complaining, he sat down took a bite and god damn it, the cheese wasn't melted. After 16 hours flipping burgers, working as a janitor and getting yelled at by his 17 year old supervisor he was just too tired to heat it up a little more and asked his girl to nuke it for a minute or so.

Then she wigged out started harping about how he didn't keep her in the lifestyle in which Britney keeps Cletus, and how she was moving back in with her mother (for the third time). He simply snapped while his sandwhich had 20 seconds to go, picked up the oven and you know the rest.

At first he was frantic because as she layed there sputtering blood and oozing brain tissue all over the stained, bare particle board of their trailer, he didn't want to leave the woman he had loved since they were in Mr. Sullivan's PE class in 8th grade. He dashed to the neighbors, but finding they weren't home ran back to check on her. Then while standing over her mostly lifeless body he remembered the years she had sat at home while he toiled his life away. How she banged the Mexican groundskeeper on the second Tuesday of every month, and the mailman every other Thursday. How she used her spiteful, horselike mother to goad him into going furinture shooping. How she forced him to clean after her poodle when it crapped in the bedroom.

Then he realized the harpy was gone forever, and he did the only sensible thing. Grab a cold beer, giggle uncontrollably for the next hour and breathed his last free breath.

That sounds highly plausable.

 

[fluff]

Maybe she was a lazy, jobless harpy who nagged him 24/7. Then one day after he worked his second fulltime job, whithout a day off in the last three weeks, and just wanted to come home to watch some TV and eat a warm meal she pushed him too far and that was it.

Say that he sat down with a warm beer (because she took it out of the fridhe to make room for her makeup) and while blowing her nails dry she started nagging him again, this time because he hadn't hand washed her bra. Then while cooking his grilled cheese, and maybe rushing it a little too much due to her complaining, he sat down took a bite and god damn it, the cheese wasn't melted. After 16 hours flipping burgers, working as a janitor and getting yelled at by his 17 year old supervisor he was just too tired to heat it up a little more and asked his girl to nuke it for a minute or so.

Then she wigged out started harping about how he didn't keep her in the lifestyle in which Britney keeps Cletus, and how she was moving back in with her mother (for the third time). He simply snapped while his sandwhich had 20 seconds to go, picked up the oven and you know the rest.

At first he was frantic because as she layed there sputtering blood and oozing brain tissue all over the stained, bare particle board of their trailer, he didn't want to leave the woman he had loved since they were in Mr. Sullivan's PE class in 8th grade. He dashed to the neighbors, but finding they weren't home ran back to check on her. Then while standing over her mostly lifeless body he remembered the years she had sat at home while he toiled his life away. How she banged the Mexican groundskeeper on the second Tuesday of every month, and the mailman every other Thursday. How she used her spiteful, horselike mother to goad him into going furinture shooping. How she forced him to clean after her poodle when it crapped in the bedroom.

Then he realized the harpy was gone forever, and he did the only sensible thing. Grab a cold beer, giggle uncontrollably for the next hour and breathed his last free breath.

Then he deserves to go to the chair for not using the door as an exit only.

 

[Wordbiker]

My guess: Club sandwich