MySpace is like a heroin addiction without the upside. If you visit Gorilla Mask's meaning for each type of MySpace photo you'll see the first part of the problem. No one knows how to take a picture anymore. Essentially there are four types of pictures found on My Space. The trendy "I can take pictures off myself in the mirror" photo, the "I'm way too ugly or trying to be too hip to use my real photo" image, the "I'm hideously deformed and want to use a picture of me from far away" photo, and the "look at my dog / booze / make up / left over crack" shot.
Just take a picture of yourself and use it. You shouldn't care what others think about your appearance, and if you have enough self confidence to post your profile on a site used by over five million people you have enough self confidence to post a photo of yourself. But don't use one of those four kinds of pictures. They're dumb, unoriginal, and I rather look at topographical maps than look at your uninspiring photo contribution to the world.
I've noticed a disproportionately larger amount of guys commenting on hot girls than there are girls commenting on hot guys. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it appears more common for the guys to be guilty of this. So guys listen up. Shut the **** up. I'll repeat this in case you thought you misread me. Shut the **** up. If you see a hot girl on MySpace, do whatever it is you were going to do with your hands and move on. Maybe if your balls have descended send her a message if you want. But there is nothing sadder than three pages or so of guys going on about how hot a girl is in a photo. It's like the sausage party that never was. The ability to comment on hot girls is not a free pass to make yourself and the rest of us sound like we're retarded. Girls don't like suck ups, and using such witty lines like "u r hottt" isn't going to do anything to boost your sex life.
This one is to girls specifically. If you say something like "contact me" at the end of your profile, don't be surprised or complain when some creepy loser who could pass for Gollum messages you. I saw a bunch of profiles where it was a hot girl who said something like "if you want a good time, contact me" and then she has a blog post complaining about people wanting to message her and add her as a friend. Well what the hell did you think was going to happen? Mr. Hot Guy to come and message you on MySpace? It's not going to happen. If you need MySpace to find a date you have bigger problems to deal with than this imaginary Mr. Right's penis size. Much bigger.
Are there stalkers on MySpace? Of course. Horny losers + Internet Connection + semi-attractive girls = trouble. I think that was the only formula I remember from Algebra. All because you can go looking through anyone's profile doesn't give you the right to stalk him or her. Take an extra dose of Xanax if you feel the need to cyber stalk someone. If they don't message you or add you when you contact someone then move on. Don't constantly message someone and annoy him or her. But on the other hand, all because some new person sent you a message doesn't mean they're stalking you. It wouldn't kill you to be friendly, so don't be a bitch just because you can. Stalkers have feelings too. That and restraining orders.
I realize when email first got big sending chain mail was the thing to do. So I'm not surprised that there are a lot of chain letters on My Space. But everyone needs to stop sending them. I don't care what your first concert was. I don't want to know whom you slept with and how many times unless we're ****ing, and I could live my life in bliss not knowing I was going to burn in hell if I didn't forward your latest gem.
Bands, The next time you want to spam someone's comments box I want you to take an ice scraper and stick it as far as you can down your throat. Then leave it there for a while. Don't do this "Thanks for adding us" thing and throw in a link to your band. Don't spam us about your next show because we don't care. If we do care we will visit your profile or visit your website to get the information. It IS ok to post your shows and announcements in the bulletin section. That's cool. And for those of you who do it thank you. But using other people's profiles to plug your crap is annoying and as welcome as the clap. Doing this won't get you signed. It'll piss people off and make them hate you.
That said, MySpace has become an addition for me. I've gotten into a routine of checking MySpace just to accept requests and to keep people posted on the website. But I don't get any fun out of it. It's like checking your email, tons of crap, letters about some prince in Liberia who wants to give you his money, and sometimes something interesting to read. So when I see people brag about the number of "friends" they have and how great MySpace is I feel like taking a thumbtack to my eyeballs. MySpace is really no big deal and there are plenty of reasons to hate it.
Reasons to hate myspace....ATTENTION WHORES!!!
Just take a picture of yourself and use it. You shouldn't care what others think about your appearance, and if you have enough self confidence to post your profile on a site used by over five million people you have enough self confidence to post a photo of yourself. But don't use one of those four kinds of pictures. They're dumb, unoriginal, and I rather look at topographical maps than look at your uninspiring photo contribution to the world.
I've noticed a disproportionately larger amount of guys commenting on hot girls than there are girls commenting on hot guys. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it appears more common for the guys to be guilty of this. So guys listen up. Shut the **** up. I'll repeat this in case you thought you misread me. Shut the **** up. If you see a hot girl on MySpace, do whatever it is you were going to do with your hands and move on. Maybe if your balls have descended send her a message if you want. But there is nothing sadder than three pages or so of guys going on about how hot a girl is in a photo. It's like the sausage party that never was. The ability to comment on hot girls is not a free pass to make yourself and the rest of us sound like we're retarded. Girls don't like suck ups, and using such witty lines like "u r hottt" isn't going to do anything to boost your sex life.
This one is to girls specifically. If you say something like "contact me" at the end of your profile, don't be surprised or complain when some creepy loser who could pass for Gollum messages you. I saw a bunch of profiles where it was a hot girl who said something like "if you want a good time, contact me" and then she has a blog post complaining about people wanting to message her and add her as a friend. Well what the hell did you think was going to happen? Mr. Hot Guy to come and message you on MySpace? It's not going to happen. If you need MySpace to find a date you have bigger problems to deal with than this imaginary Mr. Right's penis size. Much bigger.
Are there stalkers on MySpace? Of course. Horny losers + Internet Connection + semi-attractive girls = trouble. I think that was the only formula I remember from Algebra. All because you can go looking through anyone's profile doesn't give you the right to stalk him or her. Take an extra dose of Xanax if you feel the need to cyber stalk someone. If they don't message you or add you when you contact someone then move on. Don't constantly message someone and annoy him or her. But on the other hand, all because some new person sent you a message doesn't mean they're stalking you. It wouldn't kill you to be friendly, so don't be a bitch just because you can. Stalkers have feelings too. That and restraining orders.
I realize when email first got big sending chain mail was the thing to do. So I'm not surprised that there are a lot of chain letters on My Space. But everyone needs to stop sending them. I don't care what your first concert was. I don't want to know whom you slept with and how many times unless we're ****ing, and I could live my life in bliss not knowing I was going to burn in hell if I didn't forward your latest gem.
Bands, The next time you want to spam someone's comments box I want you to take an ice scraper and stick it as far as you can down your throat. Then leave it there for a while. Don't do this "Thanks for adding us" thing and throw in a link to your band. Don't spam us about your next show because we don't care. If we do care we will visit your profile or visit your website to get the information. It IS ok to post your shows and announcements in the bulletin section. That's cool. And for those of you who do it thank you. But using other people's profiles to plug your crap is annoying and as welcome as the clap. Doing this won't get you signed. It'll piss people off and make them hate you.
That said, MySpace has become an addition for me. I've gotten into a routine of checking MySpace just to accept requests and to keep people posted on the website. But I don't get any fun out of it. It's like checking your email, tons of crap, letters about some prince in Liberia who wants to give you his money, and sometimes something interesting to read. So when I see people brag about the number of "friends" they have and how great MySpace is I feel like taking a thumbtack to my eyeballs. MySpace is really no big deal and there are plenty of reasons to hate it.
Reasons to hate myspace....ATTENTION WHORES!!!
:biggrin: . Nice one mate.
