I have to ask.
- Thread starter mack
- Start date
It's an old joke where a violin is playing "My Heart Bleeds For You".
he's playing a small violin, maybe a pochette. playing a sad song on a small violin somehow is a pitiful imagemack said:oh, so its no pity, as in, i have "no pity" for you? why is he playing the violin then? if i cant figure this out how am i suposed to pass my chem test tomorrow?
if you have to ask....
J
JRB
Guest
squarewheels said:
No kidding - just don't use it
JOE
All right. I'll take care of the check. You guys can get the tip. Should be about a buck apiece. And you, when I come back, I want my book.
MR. WHITE
Sorry. It's my book now.
JOE
Hey, I changed my mind. Shoot this piece of ****, will you?
(They laugh.)
EDDIE
All right. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady.
Come on. Throw in a buck.
MR. PINK
Uh-uh. I don't tip.
EDDIE
You don't tip?
MR. PINK
No - I don't believe in it.
EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?
MR. BLUE
You know what these chicks make? They make ****.
MR. PINK
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
(Mr. Blonde laughs.)
EDDIE
I don't even know a ****ing Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?
MR. PINK
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds.
(Eddie laughs.)
I mean as far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
MR. BLUE
Hey, this girl was nice.
MR. PINK
She was OK - but she wasn't anything special.
MR. BLUE
What's special, take you in the back and suck your dick?
(They laugh.)
EDDIE
I'd go over 12% for that.
MR. PINK
Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long ****in time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times
MR. BLONDE
Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too ****ing busy?
MR. PINK
Words "too ****ing busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.
EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. Pink - the last ****ing thing you need's another cup of coffee.
MR. PINK
Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.
MR. BLUE
You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?
(Mr. Pink rubs two of his fingers together.)
MR. PINK
You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
MR. WHITE
You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
MR. PINK
So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bull****.
MR. WHITE
Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.
MR. PINK
(pauses) **** all that.
(They all laugh.)
MR. BROWN
Jesus Christ!
MR. PINK
Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's ****ed up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government ****s in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bull**** you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to ****in type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big ****in' surprise.
MR. ORANGE
Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.
EDDIE
Hey! Leave the dollars there.
JOE
All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?
MR. ORANGE
Mr. Pink.
JOE
Mr. Pink? Why not?
MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.
JOE
He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?
MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.
JOE
Shut up. What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your goddamn breakfast.
MR. PINK
Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this.
JOE
Never mind what you normally would do. Just cough in your goddamn buck like everybody else. Thank you.
All right. I'll take care of the check. You guys can get the tip. Should be about a buck apiece. And you, when I come back, I want my book.
MR. WHITE
Sorry. It's my book now.
JOE
Hey, I changed my mind. Shoot this piece of ****, will you?
(They laugh.)
EDDIE
All right. Everybody cough up some green for the little lady.
Come on. Throw in a buck.
MR. PINK
Uh-uh. I don't tip.
EDDIE
You don't tip?
MR. PINK
No - I don't believe in it.
EDDIE
You don't believe in tipping?
MR. BLUE
You know what these chicks make? They make ****.
MR. PINK
Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
(Mr. Blonde laughs.)
EDDIE
I don't even know a ****ing Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh?
MR. PINK
I don't tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip, if they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds.
(Eddie laughs.)
I mean as far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
MR. BLUE
Hey, this girl was nice.
MR. PINK
She was OK - but she wasn't anything special.
MR. BLUE
What's special, take you in the back and suck your dick?
(They laugh.)
EDDIE
I'd go over 12% for that.
MR. PINK
Hey Look, I ordered coffee, right? Now we've been here a long ****in time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times
MR. BLONDE
Six times? Well, you know, what if she's too ****ing busy?
MR. PINK
Words "too ****ing busy" shouldn't be in a waitress' vocabulary.
EDDIE
Excuse me, Mr. Pink - the last ****ing thing you need's another cup of coffee.
MR. PINK
Jesus Christ - I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage. And when I did, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.
MR. BLUE
You don't care they're counting on your tips to live?
(Mr. Pink rubs two of his fingers together.)
MR. PINK
You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
MR. WHITE
You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
MR. PINK
So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're servin ya food. But no, society says don't tip these guys over here, but tip these guys over here. That's bull****.
MR. WHITE
Waitressing is the number one occupation for female noncollege graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips.
MR. PINK
(pauses) **** all that.
(They all laugh.)
MR. BROWN
Jesus Christ!
MR. PINK
Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's ****ed up. That ain't my fault. It would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government ****s in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bull**** you're giving me, I got two words for that: "Learn to ****in type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big ****in' surprise.
MR. ORANGE
Hey - he's convinced me. Give me my dollar back.
EDDIE
Hey! Leave the dollars there.
JOE
All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'. Wait a minute. Who didn't throw in?
MR. ORANGE
Mr. Pink.
JOE
Mr. Pink? Why not?
MR. ORANGE
He don't tip.
JOE
He don't tip? What do you mean you don't tip?
MR. ORANGE
He don't believe in it.
JOE
Shut up. What do you mean you don't believe in it? Come on, you, cough up a buck, you cheap bastard. I paid for your goddamn breakfast.
MR. PINK
Alright - since you paid for the breakfast, I'll put in, but normally I would never do this.
JOE
Never mind what you normally would do. Just cough in your goddamn buck like everybody else. Thank you.
J
JRB
Guest
So we should all use the little violin guy since Mr. Pink doesn't tip huh???
loco-gringo said:
J
JRB
Guest
douglas said:
Good work
One of the best movies of all time
bcd said:
Wow...that was deep, man...
No, that means "delight in the suffering of others." (literally 'shameful joy,' as in you should feel slightly ashamed for being so happy that someone else is suffering.) That may be the emotion behind using the smiley, but it's not what the smiley means...Ciaran said:
And BCD said "aroused." huh-huh...huh-huh.
MD