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i made a dicks mechanic cry

pinkshirtphotos

site moron
Jul 5, 2006
4,676
47
Vernon, NJ
Today I was in the mall and bored so I went into Dicks sporting goods. I saw a sign they needed a bike tech person so i headed over to the bike dept. Bikes were thrown together really terribly like in every dept store. I talk to the guy there this is how the convo went

me, hey so i hear your looking for a bike tech
idiot, yeah i am the only certified bike tech in this store
me, so what does it take to get this certification
idiot, well you read a manual then take a multiple choice test, then put together 4 bikes infront of me and if you pass your hired. I didnt even read the manual and i passed.
me, so you put together all these bikes
idiot, (with big grin on his face) of course i do
me, wow these have to be the worst built bikes i have ever seen
idiot, yeah i am not to happy with what they put on them either
me, no i mean you put them together so badly, how could you take pride in your work, would you trust all these bikes to be ridden down the street right now.
idiot, sure would

i showed the guy how he had the v brakes set up so the pads touch tire not the rim, apparently thats how he rides his bikes, when i tell him its wrong he tells me he "fine tunes" the bikes when they are purchased. He cannot do all the bikes perfect when he is required to assemble 50 bikes per week. I watch him sell a bike and tell the people that they should spray the chain with wd40 every day, if they dont the chain will get sticky and stop working. He then tells the people if you get this "high tech" chain lube (white lighting with a dicks sticker over the lable) you could use that too. I just wanted to smack the guy for buying a $200 bike there and leave. I stuck around, I asked the idiot tech what kind of bike he rides. I get " I ride a super high end Iron horse Warior 4." I just chuckled and left. He was so antsy the whole convo, and looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown.


stores should have higher standards for that kind of stuff. If dicks was closer to me I would be all over that job.
 

shamrock

Monkey
Mar 25, 2008
216
0
Hoboken, NJ
WD40 on the chain :rofl::rofl::rofl:

He obviously doesn't ride on dirt. Unless he figures the heavy build up of grit he'd get somehow enhances it's performance.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
14,890
2,585
I have no idea where I am
So you were a dick to the guy because:

You were threatened by his obvious, superior mechanical abilities.

You actually found someone whom you think is not as smart as you, and picking on him makes you feel better about yourself.

You just could not stand the fact that the guy could successfully fill out a job application.

Even though he just rides a bike you feel unworthy, he has a season pass to Diablo.

You followed one of your goats there and caught it cheating on you.

Your envy for his ability to speak in complete sentences got the better of you.
 

vtjim

Beware of Milo & Otis
Jan 6, 2006
1,346
0
North Andover MA
Today I was in the mall and bored so I went into Dicks sporting goods. I saw a sign they needed a bike tech person so i headed over to the bike dept. Bikes were thrown together really terribly like in every dept store. I talk to the guy there this is how the convo went

me, hey so i hear your looking for a bike tech
idiot, yeah i am the only certified bike tech in this store
me, so what does it take to get this certification
idiot, well you read a manual then take a multiple choice test, then put together 4 bikes infront of me and if you pass your hired. I didnt even read the manual and i passed.
me, so you put together all these bikes
idiot, (with big grin on his face) of course i do
me, wow these have to be the worst built bikes i have ever seen
idiot, yeah i am not to happy with what they put on them either
me, no i mean you put them together so badly, how could you take pride in your work, would you trust all these bikes to be ridden down the street right now.
idiot, sure would

i showed the guy how he had the v brakes set up so the pads touch tire not the rim, apparently thats how he rides his bikes, when i tell him its wrong he tells me he "fine tunes" the bikes when they are purchased. He cannot do all the bikes perfect when he is required to assemble 50 bikes per week. I watch him sell a bike and tell the people that they should spray the chain with wd40 every day, if they dont the chain will get sticky and stop working. He then tells the people if you get this "high tech" chain lube (white lighting with a dicks sticker over the lable) you could use that too. I just wanted to smack the guy for buying a $200 bike there and leave. I stuck around, I asked the idiot tech what kind of bike he rides. I get " I ride a super high end Iron horse Warior 4." I just chuckled and left. He was so antsy the whole convo, and looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown.


stores should have higher standards for that kind of stuff. If dicks was closer to me I would be all over that job.
Dude, you are so cool.
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,271
3,091
No doubt people will come by the hundreds to that particular dick's to marvel at your mechanical prowess......either that or you will use it as a front for after hours goat sex shows.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,645
664
Front Range, dude...
Wait til you get to assemble 50 crappy bikes a week...see how great they come out. Like sucking your own schmenge...sounds like a great idea, but not as easy as it sounds...
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
58,266
6,295
media blackout
i applied for a job there, hope i win the job. i can be the first good bike builder in a department store
problems:

1) How in the fvck does someone "win" a job? Are they raffling it off? Is there a game show you have to play? Will Rod Roddy yell "COME ON DOOOOWN! YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON WIN THIS SH!TTY JOB!!"??

2) Why in the hell would you want to turn wrenches at Dick's?? Which, by the way, technically isn't a department store. Macy's, Nordstrom's, JCPenneys... those are department stores.

3) Wanting to be the first good bike builder in a department store is like wanting to be the first retard to not eat their own feces.


You're really setting the bar low for yourself here, Pink.
 

pinkshirtphotos

site moron
Jul 5, 2006
4,676
47
Vernon, NJ
guys as it is right now, i dont have a job. I need money to pay for gas, bike parts, and other things. Finding a job in my area isnt easy because there are not many places to work. I enjoy turning wrenches and bikes. if it puts gas in my tank its good enough for me.
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
58,266
6,295
media blackout
you're concerned about gas? don't you live on a farm? sounds like you've got a primo situation to brew up some biodiesel.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,964
34
guys as it is right now, i dont have a job. I need money to pay for gas, bike parts, and other things. Finding a job in my area isnt easy because there are not many places to work. I enjoy turning wrenches and bikes. if it puts gas in my tank its good enough for me.
Find a real bike shop and apply.

Dick's? Are you serious? You feel superior to an employee at Dick's?

That's like me walking into McDonald's and bagging on some kid because I can make grilled chicken better.
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,411
0
SF
Find a real bike shop and apply.

Dick's? Are you serious? You feel superior to an employee at Dick's?

That's like me walking into McDonald's and bagging on some kid because I can make grilled chicken better.
:stupid:
 

loco-gringo

Crusading Clamp Monkey
Sep 27, 2006
8,884
6
Deep in the heart of TEXAS
H8R and Sanjuro -

you guys are assuming that he could do that without f*#king it up. I feel otherwise.

Besides - I'm sure he thinks he'll get to make hats and berate people while he sells them bikes. Don't tell him that's at "Dick's Last Resort". Please.
 

shamrock

Monkey
Mar 25, 2008
216
0
Hoboken, NJ
Find a real bike shop and apply.

Dick's? Are you serious? You feel superior to an employee at Dick's?

That's like me walking into McDonald's and bagging on some kid because I can make grilled chicken better.
Not to mention... if the idiot at Dick's really does have a say in whether or not you're hired based on watching you build bikes... how does trying to show him up help your chances???
 

Arkayne

I come bearing GIFs
May 10, 2005
3,745
13
SoCal
I dunno man, you take some cool pics and then you are on my + list. Then you make a weirdo post and you go on my - list. Rinse and repeat. it's an emotional roller coaster I tell ya'

 

pinkshirtphotos

site moron
Jul 5, 2006
4,676
47
Vernon, NJ
shops near me are very small and dont hire help. they have all the help they need and all know i will work for them. i go to all of them and get different things. but they all know me by name
 

mnmacd

Chimp
Jun 18, 2011
35
0
bangor,ME
After reading this jab on Dick's, I now understand that I should never take my bike back there again.... What would be a better alternative?, I need repairs badly no thanks to an ass hat at Dickless Sporting goods...
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,665
433
NC
After reading this jab on Dick's, I now understand that I should never take my bike back there again.... What would be a better alternative?, I need repairs badly no thanks to an ass hat at Dickless Sporting goods...
Find a local bike shop. Or buy some tools, a copy of Zinn and the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance and some beer, and figure out how to do your own repairs.

You should probably find a local bike shop anyway, though, for when you inevitably screw up a repair and need them to help you :D
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
30,147
2,980
Portland, OR
Find a local bike shop. Or buy some tools, a copy of Zinn and the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance and some beer, and figure out how to do your own repairs.

You should probably find a local bike shop anyway, though, for when you inevitably screw up a repair and need them to help you :D
:stupid:

And take some beer with you to the shop, that will help as well.