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i made a dicks mechanic cry

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by pinkshirtphotos, Jun 1, 2008.

  1. pinkshirtphotos

    pinkshirtphotos site moron

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    Today I was in the mall and bored so I went into Dicks sporting goods. I saw a sign they needed a bike tech person so i headed over to the bike dept. Bikes were thrown together really terribly like in every dept store. I talk to the guy there this is how the convo went

    me, hey so i hear your looking for a bike tech
    idiot, yeah i am the only certified bike tech in this store
    me, so what does it take to get this certification
    idiot, well you read a manual then take a multiple choice test, then put together 4 bikes infront of me and if you pass your hired. I didnt even read the manual and i passed.
    me, so you put together all these bikes
    idiot, (with big grin on his face) of course i do
    me, wow these have to be the worst built bikes i have ever seen
    idiot, yeah i am not to happy with what they put on them either
    me, no i mean you put them together so badly, how could you take pride in your work, would you trust all these bikes to be ridden down the street right now.
    idiot, sure would

    i showed the guy how he had the v brakes set up so the pads touch tire not the rim, apparently thats how he rides his bikes, when i tell him its wrong he tells me he "fine tunes" the bikes when they are purchased. He cannot do all the bikes perfect when he is required to assemble 50 bikes per week. I watch him sell a bike and tell the people that they should spray the chain with wd40 every day, if they dont the chain will get sticky and stop working. He then tells the people if you get this "high tech" chain lube (white lighting with a dicks sticker over the lable) you could use that too. I just wanted to smack the guy for buying a $200 bike there and leave. I stuck around, I asked the idiot tech what kind of bike he rides. I get " I ride a super high end Iron horse Warior 4." I just chuckled and left. He was so antsy the whole convo, and looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown.


    stores should have higher standards for that kind of stuff. If dicks was closer to me I would be all over that job.
     
    #1 -   Jun 1, 2008

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  2. shamrock

    shamrock Monkey

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    WD40 on the chain :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    He obviously doesn't ride on dirt. Unless he figures the heavy build up of grit he'd get somehow enhances it's performance.
     
    #2 -   Jun 1, 2008
  3. Slugman

    Slugman Frankenbike

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    Sad day when you are the smart one...
     
    #3 -   Jun 1, 2008
  4. AngryMetalsmith

    AngryMetalsmith Business is good, thanks for asking

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    So you were a dick to the guy because:

    You were threatened by his obvious, superior mechanical abilities.

    You actually found someone whom you think is not as smart as you, and picking on him makes you feel better about yourself.

    You just could not stand the fact that the guy could successfully fill out a job application.

    Even though he just rides a bike you feel unworthy, he has a season pass to Diablo.

    You followed one of your goats there and caught it cheating on you.

    Your envy for his ability to speak in complete sentences got the better of you.
     
    #4 -   Jun 1, 2008
  5. pinkshirtphotos

    pinkshirtphotos site moron

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    i applied for a job there, hope i win the job. i can be the first good bike builder in a department store
     
    #5 -   Jun 1, 2008
  6. AngryMetalsmith

    AngryMetalsmith Business is good, thanks for asking

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    Why do I picture you spinning around and clapping your hands when you say that?
     
    #6 -   Jun 1, 2008
  7. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    When I read "dicks mechanic" in the title I thought you meant a urologist.
     
    #7 -   Jun 1, 2008
  8. vtjim

    vtjim Beware of Milo & Otis

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    Dude, you are so cool.
     
    #8 -   Jun 1, 2008
  9. BigMike

    BigMike BrokenbikeMike

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
    #9 -   Jun 1, 2008
  10. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    No doubt people will come by the hundreds to that particular dick's to marvel at your mechanical prowess......either that or you will use it as a front for after hours goat sex shows.
     
  11. mobius

    mobius Turbo Monkey

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    You should cry for applying to a job at "dicks"
     
  12. DRB

    DRB unemployed bum

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    Watchin' you. Writing it all down.
    I don't believe this happened at all.
     
  13. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    Shhh!

    You're ruining the fantasy.
     
  14. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    Front Range, dude...
    Wait til you get to assemble 50 crappy bikes a week...see how great they come out. Like sucking your own schmenge...sounds like a great idea, but not as easy as it sounds...
     
  15. jonKranked

    jonKranked Press Button, Receive Stupid

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    problems:

    1) How in the fvck does someone "win" a job? Are they raffling it off? Is there a game show you have to play? Will Rod Roddy yell "COME ON DOOOOWN! YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON WIN THIS SH!TTY JOB!!"??

    2) Why in the hell would you want to turn wrenches at Dick's?? Which, by the way, technically isn't a department store. Macy's, Nordstrom's, JCPenneys... those are department stores.

    3) Wanting to be the first good bike builder in a department store is like wanting to be the first retard to not eat their own feces.


    You're really setting the bar low for yourself here, Pink.
     
  16. mntbiker2

    mntbiker2 Monkey

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    where does the mechinic crying part come in? or did you just leave that part out?
     
  17. pinkshirtphotos

    pinkshirtphotos site moron

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    guys as it is right now, i dont have a job. I need money to pay for gas, bike parts, and other things. Finding a job in my area isnt easy because there are not many places to work. I enjoy turning wrenches and bikes. if it puts gas in my tank its good enough for me.
     
  18. jonKranked

    jonKranked Press Button, Receive Stupid

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    you're concerned about gas? don't you live on a farm? sounds like you've got a primo situation to brew up some biodiesel.
     
  19. pinkshirtphotos

    pinkshirtphotos site moron

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    im not stupid enough to put bio diesel in my gas powered car
     
  20. jonKranked

    jonKranked Press Button, Receive Stupid

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    but you're apparently dumb enough to think I was assuming you would :bonk:
     
  21. Wingnut

    Wingnut Turbo Monkey

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    No tears? You fail.

    On a side note, most big box store bike wrenches teh suck.
     
  22. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Find a real bike shop and apply.

    Dick's? Are you serious? You feel superior to an employee at Dick's?

    That's like me walking into McDonald's and bagging on some kid because I can make grilled chicken better.
     
  23. loco-gringo

    loco-gringo Crusading Clamp Monkey

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  24. sanjuro

    sanjuro Tube Smuggler

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  25. loco-gringo

    loco-gringo Crusading Clamp Monkey

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    H8R and Sanjuro -

    you guys are assuming that he could do that without f*#king it up. I feel otherwise.

    Besides - I'm sure he thinks he'll get to make hats and berate people while he sells them bikes. Don't tell him that's at "Dick's Last Resort". Please.
     
  26. shamrock

    shamrock Monkey

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    Not to mention... if the idiot at Dick's really does have a say in whether or not you're hired based on watching you build bikes... how does trying to show him up help your chances???
     
  27. Arkayne

    Arkayne I come bearing GIFs

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    I dunno man, you take some cool pics and then you are on my + list. Then you make a weirdo post and you go on my - list. Rinse and repeat. it's an emotional roller coaster I tell ya'

     
  28. SK6

    SK6 Turbo Monkey

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    Shut up and ride...
  29. pinkshirtphotos

    pinkshirtphotos site moron

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    shops near me are very small and dont hire help. they have all the help they need and all know i will work for them. i go to all of them and get different things. but they all know me by name
     
  30. jonKranked

    jonKranked Press Button, Receive Stupid

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    yup. When I turned wrenches we had customers like you...


    "oh f*ck, here comes the dipsh*t again"


    At my shop, we referred to people like you as "the whack pack"
     
  31. N8 v2.0

    N8 v2.0 Not the sharpest tool in the shed

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    ..run Pink, run!!!

     
    #31 -   Jun 1, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2008
  32. mnmacd

    mnmacd Chimp

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    After reading this jab on Dick's, I now understand that I should never take my bike back there again.... What would be a better alternative?, I need repairs badly no thanks to an ass hat at Dickless Sporting goods...
     
  33. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    Find a local bike shop. Or buy some tools, a copy of Zinn and the Art of Mountain Bike Maintenance and some beer, and figure out how to do your own repairs.

    You should probably find a local bike shop anyway, though, for when you inevitably screw up a repair and need them to help you :D
     
  34. Nick

    Nick My name is Nick

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    behind you, don't wait up.
    hey, its been 4 years, maybe the mechanics are better these days.


    [/zombie thread]
     
  35. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    :stupid:

    And take some beer with you to the shop, that will help as well.
     
  36. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    Front Range, dude...
    Screw the other stuff...just get the beer.
     
  37. johnbryanpeters

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    I hate to say it, but I miss PSP.
     
  38. HardtailHack

    HardtailHack used an iron once

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    Did he get the job, is he now pushing Iron Horse's awesome new models?
     
  39. Beef Supreme

    Beef Supreme Turbo Monkey

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    More like....

    PSP comes in.

    Everybody magically has to take a sh!t at the same time.

    The race is on.


    I approve of this necro-thread.
     
  40. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    Front Range, dude...
    I dont.