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I saw the fattest person ever this morning

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TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
outside in there front yard being hung in what I think was a cattle scale (it looked like the ones they show on TV when they weigh super fat people) This person had to be at least 600. Freaken made my day, funniest thing I have seen in a while.
 

jonKranked

Press Button, Receive Stupid
Nov 10, 2005
64,149
9,560
media blackout
was it their home? where they going somewhere? we need more details. and pictures.

i almost feel sorry for people that fat. almost.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
was it their home? where they going somewhere? we need more details. and pictures.

i almost feel sorry for people that fat. almost.
The garage door was open and they were like half way inside the garage with the person hanging in the hammock. I think the person was to fat to be moved to the doctor
 

Hunter

Monkey
Sep 14, 2006
793
0
The Right coast
I was in a training class last week and this huge dude sat down in the chair in front of me. I promptly pulled my out-stretched feet and legs from under his weak defenseless chair as his back-fat flopped over the backrest of the chair. I was seriously distracted for the whole presentation.

Christ people...don't let it get to that point.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,740
784
Front Range, dude...
It takes alot of dedication to get that fat. Years of not training and neglecting your body. You people just dont understand the commitment level of these elite fat bodies...
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
16,163
3,369
I have no idea where I am
It takes alot of dedication to get that fat. Years of not training and neglecting your body. You people just dont understand the commitment level of these elite fat bodies...
So true.

My goal is to pile on another 200 pounds or so, buy a giant SUV, plaster it with Power of Pride and God Bless America stickers, eat only fast food, and get a handicapped card so I don't have to walk my fat ass up to front door of Walmart.

Every-time a hippy, health-nut, commie, cyclist gets in my way and costs me an eighth of a second out of my precious cell phone driving time, I'll mow'em down like an Al-Qaeda oil hoarding terrorist at a Baptist revival.
 

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,556
0
I'm homeless
So true.

My goal is to pile on another 200 pounds or so, buy a giant SUV, plaster it with Power of Pride and God Bless America stickers, eat only fast food, and get a handicapped card so I don't have to walk my fat ass up to front door of Walmart.

Every-time a hippy, health-nut, commie, cyclist gets in my way and costs me an eighth of a second out of my precious cell phone driving time, I'll mow'em down like an Al-Qaeda oil hoarding terrorist at a Baptist revival.
F that, demand a drive through at walmart, then you can stay in the car all the time and you never have to shut the engine off on your hummer
 
Mar 23, 2006
142
0
NoVA/ Richmond
So true.

My goal is to pile on another 200 pounds or so, buy a giant SUV, plaster it with Power of Pride and God Bless America stickers, eat only fast food, and get a handicapped card so I don't have to walk my fat ass up to front door of Walmart.

Every-time a hippy, health-nut, commie, cyclist gets in my way and costs me an eighth of a second out of my precious cell phone driving time, I'll mow'em down like an Al-Qaeda oil hoarding terrorist at a Baptist revival.

I think the solution to morbidly obese individuals getting handicap cards because they are too fat is to assign them a license plate or something that forces them to park further away from the store instead of closer... They could use the walk.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
16,163
3,369
I have no idea where I am
F that, demand a drive through at walmart, then you can stay in the car all the time and you never have to shut the engine off on your hummer
Maybe I could get custom bucket seats with a toilet built in.

The Hummer Custom Dumper would be perfect for those late night sessions of eating Twinkies dipped in nacho cheese sauce, purchased in bulk at the nearest cram it down your fat pie hole drive through.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,740
784
Front Range, dude...
You know, if they wont build a drive thru Wally World to better serve the fat-asse...I mean handicapped obese types, you have a hell of a lawsuit. The American dream...sue the piss out of a major corporation and get a bunch of dough!