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If I were President....

Dog Welder

Dog Welder

Turbo Monkey
Sep 7, 2001
1,123
0
Pasadena, CA
How about a new thread where we just throw in WELL THOUGHT OUT IDEAS, not bull$hit...about how we would change policy?
Lets say to keep things civil these ideas have to be free from party lines. Ie... no "Institutionalized morning prayers in public schools" or "Instititionalize hippie smoke outs at school"

If I were President I'd enact a law that states that anyone who has a vote in whether a country will go to war, from President all the way down to members of Congress. Has to have one member of their family on active duty on the front should that war start. In peace time they would be like reservists but should **** hit the fan they would be the first one's in and the last to leave. No pogue in the rear with the gear type jobs. Like the president's daughter would be calling in arty rounds.
 
ohio

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
25
SF, CA
I (slowly) suck funding out of the DoD and Soc Sec, until our public schools were the best in the world. A flat rate would be given to each school based on student population, to insure at the very least basic needs are met. Wealthy locales would still be able to fund their schools better, but isn't that why we make money?

(I'd also never be elected. I'd be bitch-slapped down by seniors so fast, the smell of fixadent would make me curl up in a ball, suck my thumb, and cry for mommy)
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Id make Ohio my vice president and convert the oval office into a UFC ring.

Then, Id have him handle that school thing.

Id make it illegal for candidates to recieve campaign dontations in excess of $10k from any single source, and never from any corporation or PAC. Id do everything I can to get government out of the pocket of industry.

Reason being, is that IMO this is the sole reason we do not have alternative energy today. Fossil fuel companies don't want the competition.

Then, Id sit down with the CEO's of GM, Ford, and Daimler-Chrysler and demand that they begin production of alternative fuel vehicles that are compelling to the consumer rather than barely skirting the federal requirements for ULEV.

Then I would have a dual-slalom and mountain cross course built in Washington DC and DH course built at Camp David. I might federally fund a Tour of America road race with a higher purse than the TDF just to f--- with the French.
 
ohio

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
25
SF, CA
Originally posted by Damn True
Id make Ohio my vice president and convert the oval office into a UFC ring.
Click to expand...
I accept the offer if we can change to title "vice president" to "his excellency." And I'll only wrestle you if I can grease up with Crisco and wear a man-thong.

I'd vote for you DT, except I would never trust a moderate republican that's willing to put a bleeding heart liberal on his ticket...



Actually, wait, I'd vote a McCain/Dean ticket in a second.
 
Serial Midget

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
13,053
1,896
Fort of Rio Grande
You'll want to be a high ranking Senator to get this done...

Originally posted by Dog Welder
If I were President I'd enact a law that states that anyone who has a vote in whether a country will go to war, from President all the way down to members of Congress. Has to have one member of their family on active duty on the front should that war start. In peace time they would be like reservists but should **** hit the fan they would be the first one's in and the last to leave. No pogue in the rear with the gear type jobs. Like the president's daughter would be calling in arty rounds.
Click to expand...
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Originally posted by ohio
I accept the offer if we can change to title "vice president" to "his excellency." And I'll only wrestle you if I can grease up with Crisco and wear a man-thong.

I'd vote for you DT, except I would never trust a moderate republican that's willing to put a bleeding heart liberal on his ticket...



Actually, wait, I'd vote a McCain/Dean ticket in a second.
Click to expand...
Are you kidding? We'd be a shoe in. It's all about balance. My conservative attracting the right combined with your liberal attracting the left combined with the balance between the two will attract the moderate. We'll kill it.

Question is, what party? Libertarian I suppose.
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Originally posted by Serial Midget
Once the reality of the office set in I think you're much more likely to kill each other in an epic struggle over Presidential Schwag...
:D :D :D
Click to expand...
Marine One used to come to the CG airstation in NY when I was stationed there and Bush v1 came to NYC. They let us on once. I got to sit in the Presidents chair and I swiped a package of Starbursts with the Presidential Seal on them. Shoulda never ate them, but I was drunk one night and........:D
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Ohio and I would take care of toolbox leaders from around the world in a simple, but devious way and without firing a shot.

We invite them to Washington, get them good and drunk, then get photos of them in their suite's at the Watergate with hookers and crack dealers supplied by Marion Barry.

Goodbye Chretin, Chirac, Il-Jong, Putin, and that yutz from Syria.

Bang, zoom, death to a political career.
 
ohio

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
25
SF, CA
Originally posted by Damn True

We invite them to Washington, get them good and drunk, then get photos of them in their suite's at the Watergate with hookers and crack dealers supplied by Marion Barry.
Click to expand...
Since when did crack and hookers ruin a political career? No, we need to get them to endorse Strom Thurmond in '48...
 
Silver

Silver

find me a tampon
Jul 20, 2002
10,840
1
Orange County, CA
Originally posted by ohio
And I'll only wrestle you if I can grease up with Crisco and wear a man-thong.
Click to expand...
Ummm....yeah....that's a mental image I'm going to have to drown with a couple of cases of beer tonight....

Promise me you'll at least get a wax before you wiggle into the thong ohio.
 
ohio

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,649
25
SF, CA
Originally posted by Damn True
NO! I need to use that big thick patch of back hair to hang onto!
Click to expand...

Ha! That goes to show how well y'all know me.

I'm hairless as a newborn babe. I'm the Mr. Bigglesworth of the human world. One hypo-allergenic human male, coming right up.
 
S

slein

Monkey
Jul 21, 2002
331
0
CANADA
so much for WELL THOUGHT IDEAS. i knew a guy that was hairless. apparently he killed the right part of the brain in a nasty curtain crawler coffee table accident.

again, i have no point.
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Originally posted by ohio
Since when did crack and hookers ruin a political career? No, we need to get them to endorse Strom Thurmond in '48...
Click to expand...

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!

Good point, heck, crack and hookers got Barry RE-elected. But one must consider the electorate.

Or, we could get Kim Il-Jong to hire Bill Richardson as his energy secretary if he gives us 1/2 the access he gave to the Chi-Coms at Los Alamos we will have the goods on N. Korea before Yom Kippur.
 
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