[mantispf2000]

Quick background-- wife's dad passed back in December. Told to wait for letter from his attorney. Got letter today. Think it's all legal-speak (Dirt, I need your help in a big way). Loads of typo's and wrong names, so wonder if "his" letter to his daughters is legit. Now for the part that really hits me.......

He says he had 6 grandkids (3 from other daughter, 3 from wife's previous, yet forgets about Alaina). That makes 7, you phuqing bastard!!!!!

I sure hope Alaina is giving him a cold shoulder right now......

 

[Jim Mac]

I went through this with my dad's will somewhat. He just never updated it then he had several strokes. Could that be part of this?

 

[mantispf2000]

I went through this with my dad's will somewhat. He just never updated it then he had several strokes. Could that be part of this?

Good question. The letter does state about his "deteriorating health due to emphysema", however, how do you spell your daughter's/my wife's name wrong, and even refer to her with a different middle name? Yet the envelope from "the attorney" has her name spelled right and correct middle name? Let alone the abundance of mis-spelled words used. We're just wondering if it is in his words, or written by his wife/wife's step-mom.

I know I should not speak ill of him. Dislike me, dislike your daughter, fine. Forget Alaina? Pyss off!!!!

 

[OGRipper]

This may be hard but for purposes of a will and inheritance, how can you say he has 6 grandkids? I don't know much about your situation but it sounds like he DID update the will, knowing that whatever would have gone to Alaina would instead go to you and your wife. He would separately make gifts directly to you and your wife if he wanted to.

In any case, if you want to contest the will (or trust, if there is one) you need to get your own lawyer and not rely on the guy handling the estate.

 

[binary visions]

It might just be worth noting that everyone deals with sadness and loss differently, too. I know you feel every day that Alaina is there with you, but for some people it might be too painful to carry that memory with them.

I know it doesn't comfort you, but some people cope by putting their memories aside.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Typo's and misspellings in a legal document? I'm no lawyer, but that seems funny. Not ha-ha funny either. Seek counsel?

 

[mantispf2000]

To the RM Collective--

As odd as this will sound, I truly feel that this is one of the very few places I can vent and not be be-littled. Witty comebacks from some? Guided wisdom from others? I do feel that many of you have helped me, whether by responding or just reading, and that means a boatload to me.

Just called the trust attorney, so we'll see what we need to do from here.....

 

[boogenman]

That really sucks that she was left out when she will always be in your memories.

 

[skibunny24]

Did you find out anything additional yet? It does sound fishy. Though I do agree that some people bury memories and your father in law may have removed her from the will when she passed. It would be odd of him to completely not mention her AND misspell his own daughter's name though....

 

[TreeSaw]

I'm just reading this now and my initial thoughts are: Wow! While I do understand that everyone grieves differently and I don't know how close your wife, you and Alaina were with him, I too find it very strange that he mis-spelled your wife's name (and wrong middle name????) and failed to mention that Alaina had pre-deceased him. Definitely talk with the trust attorney and best of luck to you!

 

[mantispf2000]

Haven't heard anything yet, and I called (had to tell the receptionist "I'm Kristine's husband" 3 times), left a message, and even texted the office twice yesterday. No response yet. As far as will mentioning, maybe I was too vague. What I'm referring to is an apparent letter he wrote to his daughters (wife and her sis) that left Alaina out and had all the typo's. We're trying to get a copy of the family trust from this attorney, and just want to find out from him what wife needs to do to get it, then go from there.

Thank you all for your words of support. You know I do appreciate them.....

 

[eric strt6]

I'm going to be blunt. If I am old and writing out my will I really doubt that I will be mentioning those that are dead as I am not leaving anything to them. Alana's death was obviously traumatic for you. Most people move on after a while but it appears to still consume you after all these years. I'm not trying to be a Dick but perhaps you should consider seeing a grief counselor.

 

[the law]

Haven't heard anything yet, and I called (had to tell the receptionist "I'm Kristine's husband" 3 times), left a message, and even texted the office twice yesterday. No response yet. As far as will mentioning, maybe I was too vague. What I'm referring to is an apparent letter he wrote to his daughters (wife and her sis) that left Alaina out and had all the typo's. We're trying to get a copy of the family trust from this attorney, and just want to find out from him what wife needs to do to get it, then go from there.

Thank you all for your words of support. You know I do appreciate them.....

They should be sending this to you automatically after the death along with the will. Maybe you should also send the attorney an email so you have a record.

 

[mantispf2000]

I'm going to be blunt. If I am old and writing out my will I really doubt that I will be mentioning those that are dead as I am not leaving anything to them. Alana's death was obviously traumatic for you. Most people move on after a while but it appears to still consume you after all these years. I'm not trying to be a Dick but perhaps you should consider seeing a grief counselor.

NEVER would I feel someone being blunt/honest is being a dick. And you do make sense that someone who has gone first very well would not be mentioned in a letter/will. As for grief counselling, I did attend Compassionate Friends for 4 years, and still go into the online chat rooms they have on a weekly basis.

Eric, thank you for your input, and I do appreciate it......

 

[mantispf2000]

They should be sending this to you automatically after the death along with the will. Maybe you should also send the attorney an email so you have a record.

Wife heard today from attorney that they have mailed a copy of the trust. Oh, the anticipation......

 

[DirtMcGirk]

I sent you a PM. Drop me a line when you get a chance.

 

[mantispf2000]

So here's the update-- Received a copy of the "family" trust today. Started reading it (why all the legal-speak, huh?), and when we got to the end/final amendment, it states that each of "his" daughters/grandchildren will receive $100/cash, while his "wife" (and yes, I do use the term loosely)/daughters' stepmom/her niece/grand-niece/"someone else" splits the estate in certain percentages (15%/20%/30%/etc).

Now, I'm not saying in any way how one is to spend their money, however, to burn your blood grandchildren like this? Oh well, what to I know.....

 

[skibunny24]

Um, I'm no expert, but it sounds like the origin of said letter should be investigated further.

 

[mantispf2000]

Um, I'm no expert, but it sounds like the origin of said letter should be investigated further.

Wife plans on discussing this with her sister to see if they have any options. I don't know if he truly was in his "right mind" when he signed the latest amendment, having to take medications for emphysema and such, however, all I can do now is to try and support my wife and stepkids to the best I can. All else is truly small potatoes....