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I'm never going to Japan again.

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
EVER.








http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html
Japanese Giant Hornet (vespa mandarinia japonica)

From: Japan, obviously.

Why you must fear it:
It's the size of your thumb and it can spray flesh-melting poison. We really wish we were making that up for, you know, dramatic effect because goddamn, what a terrible thing a three-inch acid-shooting hornet would be, you know? Oh, hey, did we mention it shoots it into your eyes? Or that the poison also has a pheromone cocktail in it that'll call every hornet in the hive to come over and sting you until you are no longer alive?

Think you can outrun it? It can fly 50 miles in a day. It'd be nice to say something reassuring at this point, like "Don't worry, they only live on top of really tall mountains where nobody wants to live," but no, they live all over the goddamned place, including outside Tokyo.

Forty people die like that every year, each of them horribly.

More scary ****:
Here's how the Japanese hornet treats other insects (and would presumably treat us, if we were small enough). An adult hornet will fly miles to find some squishy **** to feed to its children. Often times, it finds its food in, say, a hive inhabited by thousands of bees.

What to do? Well, Vespa japonica sprays the nest with some of the acid/pheromone and brings in reinforcements, usually consisting of 30 or so fellow hornets. They then descend upon the beehive like an unholy plague of hell-born death engines and proceed to make this world a scary goddamned place. This is maybe 30 wasps against 30,000 bees and the 30,000 bees do not stand a chance.


Behold the hornets systematically seize them with huge, wicked jaws and literally ****ing cut them apart, one by one by one by ****ing one. In three hours, there are piles of limbs and heads and just ****ing bits of things that could possibly have been alive at one point, and the hornets have stormed the hive and flown away with all the bee's children. Who will then be eaten.

Nature is ****ing hardcore.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
Where is that faux-ninja guy who sliced everyone up there last month?

Get him into a fight to the death with these, it would be pay-per-view gold.
 

zahgurim

Underwater monkey
Mar 9, 2005
1,101
12
lolAsia
Those things are in Korea too, but I didn't know it till I picked up a big rock while trail building and almost shat my pants.

Was a hybernating queen. Fockin huge. The pics don't do it justice...
And their colour is awesome, like oldschool metallic Marz Z1 orange.

After puckering my hole and running away squealing like a little girl, I went back after seeing it wasn't chasing me. Poked it with a stick a bit.
Was moving slow, so I put it in an empty beer bottle.

That woke it up. And pissed it off.

I'll never forget the sound it made, with the giant plastic bottle acting as a fart-cannon resonator.

Didn't know they were so lethal, till I got it home and read up a bit on them.
Prolly shouldn't have been pokin it with a stick...

Those things are in the States now, on the east coast. Got into a shipping container, I think. You guys are focked in a few years.
Maybe they'll mate with the Africanized bees that are there, and give everyone else some entertainment.

Africanized Giant Japanese Death Hornets!

Or maybe they'll kill all the killer bees? That would make for an interesting nature show.
 

X3pilot

Texans fan - LOL
Aug 13, 2007
5,861
1
SoMD
Camel spiders = way overrated...
camel toe, on the other hand....


sorry, just had to throw that in there after the second refernce to camel


back to the big scary bugs that can kill you and school girl transvestites...
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,791
36
Japan
Quit deflecting..... is that you or not?
Give me some credit to know what I'm doing. If you're gonna get dressed up like a Jap schoolgirl you've gotta make yaself at least a little attractive. I think that poor f*cker's heart wasn't really in it.
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
10,405
452
chez moi
We must, once again, call on Robert Smith to save the day.



Why is it that the things in Japan that should be big are very tiny, yet the things that should be tiny are mega-super-mecha-big?
 

SkaredShtles

I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!
Sep 21, 2003
50,868
4,211
In a van.... down by the river
Just be sure to bring a swarm of Japanese honey bees with you! :shocked:

Although a handful of Asian giant hornets can easily defeat the defenses of many individual honey bees, whose small stings cannot inflict much damage against such a large predator, the Japanese honey bee (Apis cerana japonica) possesses a collective defense against them.

When a hornet scout locates and approaches a Japanese honey bee hive it will emit specific pheromonal hunting signals. When the honey bees detect these pheromones, a hundred or so will gather near the entrance of the nest and keep it open, apparently to draw the hornet further into the hive or allow it to enter on its own. As the hornet enters the nest, a large mob of about five hundred honey bees surrounds it, completely covering it and preventing it from moving, and begin quickly vibrating their flight muscles. This has the effect of raising the temperature of the honey bee mass to 47 °C (117 °F). The honey bees can just tolerate this temperature, but the hornets cannot survive more than 45 °C (113 °F), and die. Often several bees perish along with the intruder, but the death of the hornet scout prevents it from bringing reinforcements which could wipe out the colony.[8]
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
38,226
5,010
Sleazattle
We need a hybrid Africanized Japanese honeybee hornets. Big, pissy, stingy and can cook you while they are at it.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,647
666
Front Range, dude...
We need one of these...

Electric Fly Swatter - 1500 Volts

Electric Fly Swatter will easily kill all flying insects such as mosquitos, flies, and gnats, just by waving at them with the electric fly swatter. And, the Electric Fly Swatter is small enough to take with you, wherever you go. The output power is relatively low, constituting no real hazard to humans or pets. The Electric Fly Swatter has no smell, and contains no poisonous or harmful materials. However, the net will become hot when activated, so please keep away from your skin, and from children. Electric Fly Swatter is safe for indoor or outdoor use. Electric Fly Swatter is praised as the most effective, convenient, and hygienic insect terminator, as it leaves no smudge, smear or mess to clean up after
 

zahgurim

Underwater monkey
Mar 9, 2005
1,101
12
lolAsia
Think it was the Carolina's that these things were introduced to and spotted in... don't remember now.
They can definately survive bitter-cold winters, so if they are there you guys are focked.

You know that Chris King shirt with the quote by a Japanese guy?
"It rolls good with angry bee sound."
Was these things he was talking about, not some pinner girly die-after-stinging-you-and-not-even-killing-you honeybees.

lol... You'll just be riding in the woods, and hear a King hub. Slow down because you think it's a rider on a cool bike, and get your ass killed by evil giant hornets.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
Think it was the Carolina's that these things were introduced to and spotted in... don't remember now.
They can definately survive bitter-cold winters, so if they are there you guys are focked.

You know that Chris King shirt with the quote by a Japanese guy?
"It rolls good with angry bee sound."
Was these things he was talking about, not some pinner girly die-after-stinging-you-and-not-even-killing-you honeybees.

lol... You'll just be riding in the woods, and hear a King hub. Slow down because you think it's a rider on a cool bike, and get your ass killed by evil giant hornets.

See? Everyone, everywhere is FVCKED.
 

Lowlight7

Monkey
Apr 4, 2008
357
0
Virginia, USA
We need one of these...

Electric Fly Swatter - 1500 Volts

Electric Fly Swatter will easily kill all flying insects such as mosquitos, flies, and gnats, just by waving at them with the electric fly swatter. And, the Electric Fly Swatter is small enough to take with you, wherever you go. The output power is relatively low, constituting no real hazard to humans or pets. The Electric Fly Swatter has no smell, and contains no poisonous or harmful materials. However, the net will become hot when activated, so please keep away from your skin, and from children. Electric Fly Swatter is safe for indoor or outdoor use. Electric Fly Swatter is praised as the most effective, convenient, and hygienic insect terminator, as it leaves no smudge, smear or mess to clean up after
You're only going to piss them off...



Here's the little bugger feasting on a praying mantis...