very well could be, seeing as how unemployment is paid by the state government...
I'm trying to get laid off...
- Thread starter Ithnu
- Start date
you should just get laid more
your job might not seem so bad then
your job might not seem so bad then
I have taken the last two out of three summers off on my own dime. I got laid off at the end of 2009. Found a job the spring of 2010, got off unemployement and told the employer I couldn't start until September. Quit that job after a year and went to grad school, took the summer off. Have a nice job and will be saving money so I can be irresponsible on my own dime again in a few years. I plan on spending my retirement in chunks throughout my life.
You, sir, are wise beyond your years.
You shut your face...
I personally find nothing offensive with anything I posted. But seriously, am I the only one who heard the guy from Office Space in ithnus original message? I dont want to work at the job I have anymore, but I dont have enough money to goof off all summer, so I want to intentionally get laid off and go on the dole? Please...
After I retire from the AF, I plan on goofing off for at least a year, but dont plan on using anyones $$ but my own...
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When you retire from the AF shouldn't you plan on goofing off for a couple decades?
Help me sell that one to the wife...
You can only golf so much, or so I've been told.
I wasn't going to post here anymore, I was busy outside pissing into the wind, but I figure why not. Come, sit with me and I'll talk to ya.
I've learned a few things here today, which is strange as it is the Internet.
1) Apparently the only legit way to get laid off is to work really slow.
2) Some of you have some serious objections to voluntary layoffs.
3) Too many of you cross dress and fart in the office.
4) Seems like I'm going to have to quit not get laid off.
And remember, I get 10 weeks of paychecks from my employer before unemployment even starts. And I won't have to pay back $4k to them in tuition. That's what I'm hoping for. Ideally I'd get laid off, start severance and get a job in a few weeks. That would result in a month+ of double paychecks. But I'll never be that lucky.
I've learned a few things here today, which is strange as it is the Internet.
1) Apparently the only legit way to get laid off is to work really slow.
2) Some of you have some serious objections to voluntary layoffs.
3) Too many of you cross dress and fart in the office.
4) Seems like I'm going to have to quit not get laid off.
And remember, I get 10 weeks of paychecks from my employer before unemployment even starts. And I won't have to pay back $4k to them in tuition. That's what I'm hoping for. Ideally I'd get laid off, start severance and get a job in a few weeks. That would result in a month+ of double paychecks. But I'll never be that lucky.
This sounds like an awesome plan. You should do this.
GOLF!? Never...what is a voluntary layoff? That implies something a bit different that how I interpreted your original post...
It's a strange world at my company right now. They sometimes let voluntary layoffs come around. That way people who want out can go voluntarily and save someone's job. But to qualify for that it gets kinda of complicated. You have to deserve a layoff. I've had good reviews so I don't qualify. If my job ended I'd just push some one else out. So I need to do enough to get into that pool without getting fired. I know for a fact who's job I'd take if they had to drop a few people. He doesn't want to leave, I do. But as of now he'd get laid off and I'd take his job. So how do I get myself laid off and save his job?
Confused yet? Yeah me too, thus this thread.
Any hot female executives? You know exactly where I'm going with this.
Anyone passable with beer goggles?
Well I'm happily married. But barring that... in my area, still a no.
*ok...maaaybe one. But you better have the far half of a12'er inside of ya.
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Fixed...
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I'm trying to do the: Work hard for two years straight, then take six months off plan. Hopefully I'll be laid off in june if that's the case.
Okay, this I can support. I think poor hygene is the answer, combined with some Milton-esque acts on your part. Start with hoarding all the erasers in the office...
Crop dusting seems to easy. But maybe just smelling like a freaking hippie might work.
In my office we play a game called Fanball. We have these 2 ceiling fans that turn at about 9 million rpm, and a whole bunch of assorted foam stress balls. It is amazing to see what happens when one, 2 or 11 of them are lobbed into the fan blades.
Boss finds our game interesting, threatened to fire all 4 of us, cantdoit!
Boss finds our game interesting, threatened to fire all 4 of us, cantdoit!
With the cuts in the DOD budget this year (sequestration) and the massive cuts in the next several years budgets - I think you will get your wish.
But you probably will be laid off in the Oct/Dec timeframe.
I'm all for cutting DOD aerospace contractors.
Cheers
But you probably will be laid off in the Oct/Dec timeframe.
I'm all for cutting DOD aerospace contractors.
Cheers
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Ohh ****, looks who's back!
I drop in every now n then.
Just usually too busy as **** trying to get a descent quality design/project out of a bucha lazy, over paid DOD ktrs to fling poo in the Monkey House.
Hey no argument with me. Where I work they've made promotions/raises really hard to get so lots of younger engineers (20s and early 30s) are leaving. I'm in that boat, I want out and in all likely hood will have to quit.
So with young, relatively cheaper and hard working engineers leaving who's left? We call them "Boomers". Typically 50+ guys who've been here for 25 or more years. They're all good old boys who won't get laid off due to seniority, make $125k+, don't do sh!t and won't quit because no one will pay them that much anywhere they go. They are coasting to retirement.
A friend and I talked about one guy who may worked 3 hours a day. He takes long lunches, goes for coffee and just talks with people all day. I got a look at his reviews the last 3 years; all extremely good. Literally pays to be friends with the boss.
In my group of roughly 2 dozen there are only 3 of us under 35, myself included, and I bet the average age with the rest is around 55. The last 6 of 7 who've quit have been under 35 and the one old guy retired. No one has been laid off or fired.
Oh this is great! I'm in the same boat right now, except Property Management. So I look at indeed.com, craigslist.org, simplyhired.com, and any other site I can find to get me into a job I will actually enjoy EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am bored because I don't have enough work to do, so while I am still productive (um, remember that unemployment only pays a percentage of what you are earning now), I just spend more time looking for a new gig than posting pics in teh random pic thread these days
Do these actually exist?
for you i imagine it would be taste tester at budweiser...
Welll... the thought is that I might try for a couple of part time jobs--teaching ski lessons, teaching flute/piano lessons, some sort of program coordinator for camps... anything that gets me outside... hell, I'd LOVE to be a farmer! But I'm white, so I ask for too much money.
taster at Mac N Jacks?
A guy at my work did a really nice job of getting laid off last summer. He basically would show up around 11, pull out his breakfast, spend a good 30 minutes eating before doing anything, work about an hour and a half, go to lunch, come back and work for another hour, and then claim that it was too hot and the heat was giving him a head ache so he would go home. He managed this and a two week holiday over the course of a month before the boss had a talk with him.
Send me the name of the government Contracting Officer's Rep for your contract... I've cut a bit of deadwood from our Lockheed-Martin, STEC, and Aerospace contracts - perhaps I can help you with your wish.
I only wish we could get their beer in CO
Yeah right. I work in analysis. We are short staffed as it is (which is why I'm having trouble getting laid off), a government audit is not going to cut anyone. We've even pulled 2 guys out of retirement for help.Send me the name of the government Contracting Officer's Rep for your contract... I've cut a bit of deadwood from our Lockheed-Martin, STEC, and Aerospace contracts - perhaps I can help you with your wish.
I know you mean well, but unless you are seriously up in the government defense ranks I can't see it happening. Would you be an Air Force Colonel or higher perhaps? When those guys show up they get the red carpet treatment. They still have to put their $1 into the basket to get coffee and donuts though (anyone in aerospace will get that).
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Not worth it in the least.