Those bikes were enslaved by you. Some kind libertarian merely came along and freed them from bondage to your ass. And you have the nerve to call it theft!
****ing bike theives
By the way, "prolapse" is spelled incorrectly in the tags...
Don't you mean "smite him like a level 4 ogre" ?
+ rep for starting the best thread of the day. :thumbs:
If you don't know what it is, you've never done it...
RR Can't handle a thimble full of whisky, two borrowed bikes and an under age girl at night in the woods.
How he will deal with being in the military is beyond me.
How he will deal with being in the military is beyond me.
HAHAHAH. dangit.
Why does that Chappelle Show, R Kelly skit come to mind ?
Wow, thanks guys.
I am buying her a new bike.
No baby fvcking me thank you.
I am 19 years old.
I am buying her a new bike.
No baby fvcking me thank you.
I am 19 years old.
Me neither.
Story of that Night this is a unfinished ROUGH DRAFT I will have finished product after I turn this in.
Jack and coke makes for one of my favorite all time beverages. The mixture of two American classics, Coca Cola and Jack Daniels can only be described as perfection. The only downside of this godly elixir is that it has a tendency to get you plastered and keep you awake well into the night.
A Wednesday or two ago I was enjoying said mixture during a warm summer night with a group of good friends. The evening was going perfect, soothing beats were being played over a nice stereo, laughter was commonly erupting from the group as story and drinks were shared.
Around one thirty the night began to taper off and people began to leave. Early be by most people’s standards but who could blame them? It was a Wednesday night. I had work the following day, but I was in no hurry to get home.
I began talking to one of the guests, her name was Jessica, and she liked to ride bikes drunk. How perfect I thought, so do I. My bike, however, was nowhere to be seen. I looked down the drive way and noticed two bikes. PERFECT. I walked or stumbled to the host, she was really drunk, and asked if it would be possible to borrow her bikes for a late night ride. She said yes, but told us not to loose them.
Jessica and I began our descent to a local elementary school. We road the bikes around the blacktop for a good ten minutes before deciding on heading to the swings. We set the bikes in front of the swings and began enjoying the once amazing childhood event. After about eight swings my stomach did a back flip. To much sugar, to much Jack, this was a combonation for disaster.
“Hey Jessica, want to check out the nature trail? I haven’t been up there in days”
“Sure” she replied, “Why not?”
We walked the bikes over to the creek and set them along the fence. It was late, who would be out? We spent some time exploring trail, checking a cool try, climbing on a bull dozer. It was awesome. We then headed towards the back of the school. Jessica then burst into song, not a big detail, but it was amusing
After finishing the song we head back to the bikes. She was the fist to notice.
“The Bikes are gone”
“What!?!”
Sure enough, a blurry glance over, I see the truth in her statement. Great… This evening is not going to end well at all.
After scouring the school for near an hour, we bowed our heads and walked back to party to confess ourselves.
On the walk back, I learn a very important detail.
“Julia is going to kill me”
“Why would she do that?” I asked “We will just have to replace them”
“Well… the thing is, I kind of got another one of her bikes stolen”
“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck”
At first I thought this wouldn’t be a big thing, but now, now I was worried.
We get back, walk up the stairs, Jessica and I go inside for some fortification. Her drink of the night was Malibu and Orange soda, surprisingly delicious. I make myself another Jack and coke, heavy on the Jack in preparation for onslaught that’s about to begin.
We walk to Julia. She is passed out. I wake her, tell her.
“WHAT?!” She yells. “I need you guys to get out of my site for a little while, I just need to think this over”
We walk down stair and onto the grass, sit for a bit. Jessica then heads back up the stair.
I hear Julia roar with anger “WHAT THE **** STILL DOING HERE? GET THE **** OUT OF MY HOUSE.”
Seconds later Jessica walks down the stairs.
Fucccckk I think to myself.
“I can’t go home” Says Jessica
“That’s cool, we can crash at my place”
The walk back to my place was short. We go inside, drink some water and hit the hay. We lay awake contemplating the evening, while listing to a very chill play list. I decide I want to watch a movie, so we turned it on.
I can’t fall asleep. Too much caffeine is coursing through my system. Jessica gets tired, passes out. I lay awake, spend time on my computer, read the news. Around five I fall asleep.
At six I wake with a start. My door was opening, my dad looks in
“WHA Wha Huh?!!” A mess of syllables erupt from his mouth. He closes the door in a hurry. Possible trying forget the scene he just witnessed.
Jack and coke makes for one of my favorite all time beverages. The mixture of two American classics, Coca Cola and Jack Daniels can only be described as perfection. The only downside of this godly elixir is that it has a tendency to get you plastered and keep you awake well into the night.
A Wednesday or two ago I was enjoying said mixture during a warm summer night with a group of good friends. The evening was going perfect, soothing beats were being played over a nice stereo, laughter was commonly erupting from the group as story and drinks were shared.
Around one thirty the night began to taper off and people began to leave. Early be by most people’s standards but who could blame them? It was a Wednesday night. I had work the following day, but I was in no hurry to get home.
I began talking to one of the guests, her name was Jessica, and she liked to ride bikes drunk. How perfect I thought, so do I. My bike, however, was nowhere to be seen. I looked down the drive way and noticed two bikes. PERFECT. I walked or stumbled to the host, she was really drunk, and asked if it would be possible to borrow her bikes for a late night ride. She said yes, but told us not to loose them.
Jessica and I began our descent to a local elementary school. We road the bikes around the blacktop for a good ten minutes before deciding on heading to the swings. We set the bikes in front of the swings and began enjoying the once amazing childhood event. After about eight swings my stomach did a back flip. To much sugar, to much Jack, this was a combonation for disaster.
“Hey Jessica, want to check out the nature trail? I haven’t been up there in days”
“Sure” she replied, “Why not?”
We walked the bikes over to the creek and set them along the fence. It was late, who would be out? We spent some time exploring trail, checking a cool try, climbing on a bull dozer. It was awesome. We then headed towards the back of the school. Jessica then burst into song, not a big detail, but it was amusing
After finishing the song we head back to the bikes. She was the fist to notice.
“The Bikes are gone”
“What!?!”
Sure enough, a blurry glance over, I see the truth in her statement. Great… This evening is not going to end well at all.
After scouring the school for near an hour, we bowed our heads and walked back to party to confess ourselves.
On the walk back, I learn a very important detail.
“Julia is going to kill me”
“Why would she do that?” I asked “We will just have to replace them”
“Well… the thing is, I kind of got another one of her bikes stolen”
“Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck”
At first I thought this wouldn’t be a big thing, but now, now I was worried.
We get back, walk up the stairs, Jessica and I go inside for some fortification. Her drink of the night was Malibu and Orange soda, surprisingly delicious. I make myself another Jack and coke, heavy on the Jack in preparation for onslaught that’s about to begin.
We walk to Julia. She is passed out. I wake her, tell her.
“WHAT?!” She yells. “I need you guys to get out of my site for a little while, I just need to think this over”
We walk down stair and onto the grass, sit for a bit. Jessica then heads back up the stair.
I hear Julia roar with anger “WHAT THE **** STILL DOING HERE? GET THE **** OUT OF MY HOUSE.”
Seconds later Jessica walks down the stairs.
Fucccckk I think to myself.
“I can’t go home” Says Jessica
“That’s cool, we can crash at my place”
The walk back to my place was short. We go inside, drink some water and hit the hay. We lay awake contemplating the evening, while listing to a very chill play list. I decide I want to watch a movie, so we turned it on.
I can’t fall asleep. Too much caffeine is coursing through my system. Jessica gets tired, passes out. I lay awake, spend time on my computer, read the news. Around five I fall asleep.
At six I wake with a start. My door was opening, my dad looks in
“WHA Wha Huh?!!” A mess of syllables erupt from his mouth. He closes the door in a hurry. Possible trying forget the scene he just witnessed.
Last edited:
This story has become tiresome.
Now it is time on Shprockets when we dance!!
Bom ba bom...
Now it is time on Shprockets when we dance!!
Bom ba bom...
Could you have shortened that to, "I got drunk and abandoned two bikes that weren't mine because I was trying really, really hard to get some without succeeding?"
Bike thieves suck, but so do those who are careless with things that aren't their own.
Bike thieves suck, but so do those who are careless with things that aren't their own.
I thought you lived in an apartment with a room mate.
Or, your dad is an over weight gay black man ?
useful tip : never publish unfinished work, it's unprofessional to say the least.
It could be shortened even more to, "I'm and idiot and I like to advertise it."
I didn't know dead horses could flog themselves.
I guess it's tough to be concise when dealing with something so unquantifiable.
Nah, I was dating her friend at the time. Plus she was 16
Is she 17 now? Legal in most states.
eLiar!!!
I thought you lived in an apartment with a room mate.
Or, your dad is an over weight gay black man ?
useful tip : never publish unfinished work, it's unprofessional to say the least.
Anything that can be operationalized is quantifiable. Idiotcy can be operationalized. We can start by coding RM threads as baseline operators. Let's do it!
I bet she was 16, and on the Olympic Swat team up in Canada.
Or 14 and his first cousin from the Ozarks.
This sentence right here sums up your whole story.
That story reminded me of when my fixed dog humps my leg.
Yeah, he is all over the place, but he is not getting anywhere.
At least the real "Neverending Story" had a big flying F***ing dog.
Try one of those next time.
I wouldn't lend him my Luckdragon. It might end up drunk, stolen, or as fodder for the imagination after the fact...At least the real "Neverending Story" had a big flying F***ing dog.
Try one of those next time.
Fixed.
Never been to the Ozarks, have you?
One does not need to visit the vomitorium to know that one should stay away by the smell...
A vomitorium was actually the exit from a coliseum, not a place where people puked.
Well, it was actually more of the exit from a theater, now that I think about it, so I do have a devil-may-care, anti-intellectual, bad-boy streak.
Many a girl has had to make a hasty exit from a theater after I'm through...