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It's a no-win situation for Jesus

BurlyShirley

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
Im not a believer in Christ as the son of god, though I do believe in God to some extent. I dont know to what extent or in what capacity, but anyway, here's what I was thinking.

Suppose I was sitting around one day eating a burrito, and Jesus just shows up in my living room. He goes "Hey Burly, y'know, Im real and ****, so you best shape up or you'll be going to hell."

So Im like damn, I just talked to god. I gotta change my ways. So I come on RM and start posting threads like "Dude, I talked to god yo! You guys gotta get real wit dis **** ."

...and you all would be like "you're crazy" or "youre a liar" and even if i posted a pic you all would say "photochop" so Id have to resort to carrying around a sandwich board saying "the end is near" or some such crazy crap.

So i guess the point is, people are just set in their ways, and if god came down and beat them with a dead racoon, they'd try to come up with a logical reason that it wasnt god and it was george bush's fault or something. WTF am i talking about?
 
Lexx D

Lexx D

Dirty Dozen
Mar 8, 2004
1,480
0
NY
:dancing: that's just crazy.

First off if you watched dogma you know that you can't even hear the words of god without your head exploding.

Second god would never hit you with an animal(even dead) since he loves all creatures.
:confused: some people just don't get how things work. :D
 
Slugman

Slugman

Frankenbike
Apr 29, 2004
4,024
0
Miami, FL
BurlySurly said:
Im not a believer in Christ as the son of god, though I do believe in God to some extent. I dont know to what extent or in what capacity, but anyway, here's what I was thinking.

Suppose I was sitting around one day eating a burrito, and Jesus just shows up in my living room. He goes "Hey Burly, y'know, Im real and ****, so you best shape up or you'll be going to hell."

So Im like damn, I just talked to god. I gotta change my ways. So I come on RM and start posting threads like "Dude, I talked to god yo! You guys gotta get real wit dis **** ."

...and you all would be like "you're crazy" or "youre a liar" and even if i posted a pic you all would say "photochop" so Id have to resort to carrying around a sandwich board saying "the end is near" or some such crazy crap.

So i guess the point is, people are just set in their ways, and if god came down and beat them with a dead racoon, they'd try to come up with a logical reason that it wasnt god and it was george bush's fault or something. WTF am i talking about?
Click to expand...
Were you covering that story about the military burning off old chemical weapons? :dead:
 
LordOpie

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
if the messiah visited you -and- wanted you to believe -and- wanted you to share your experience -and- convince others to believe -and- did NOT give you any sort of hints or advice on how to achieve that end, then you didn't actually have lunch with the messiah.
 
Toshi

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
40,223
9,112
what if i, say, was having some trouble swallowing a zesty sandwich, and jesus saved me from choking? :devil: hehe
 
ALEXIS_DH

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
6,257
881
Lima, Peru, Peru
hmmm, its more likely you had a hallucination, than that all we know about the tangible world, which is mutually affirmative and validated, was wrong.

so yeah is a no win situation. Unless, you get some sort of proof, like some of his DNA or a picture of adam and eve without bellybuttons.
 
valve bouncer

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
Toshi said:
what if i, say, was having some trouble swallowing a zesty sandwich, and jesus saved me from choking? :devil: hehe
Click to expand...
just don't let partsy or DT see this thread and we'll all be saved :D
 
Lexx D

Lexx D

Dirty Dozen
Mar 8, 2004
1,480
0
NY
MMike said:
I would only believe you if Jesus were made of gingerbread....
Click to expand...
"You ate the baby jesus"?
"You swallowed our lord and savior"

I thought he was part of the zoo. :p
 
dlb

dlb

Monkey
Apr 15, 2004
202
0
socal
The funny thing is is that Jesus did come down and hung out with a few buds about 2000 years ago :thumb:
 
BurlyShirley

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
dlb said:
The funny thing is is that Jesus did come down and hung out with a few buds about 2000 years ago :thumb:
Click to expand...

Is that funny? Please explain to me how that is remotely humurous. In fact, what is the point of this post? Please explain that to me too. Do you mean to suggest that I didnt realize that Jesus supposedly existed on earth and taught people his supposed ways of god? Or are you merely hinting at the irony of how my scenario and that of the original jesus are much in the same and that no one believed him then, just like they wouldnt now? And what's with the thumbs up? Is that to agree with me or what?
 
G

genpowell71

Turbo Monkey
Sep 13, 2003
1,129
0
For now, GA. When I retire from the military? CO
I'm not a church going person, I refuse to subsidize a pastor's trip to New York city so he can Christmas shop, (Richard Lee, former president of the southen baptist convention). I believe in God and I worship him in my own way. I know he exsists, because after all the crap I got into in Iraq last year, it could only be a miricle that I'm alive today...
 
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