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It's baaaaaccckkkkkk.....

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I swear these Porsche S Bikes are the herpes of the Craigslist bike world. And $1200 for a front suspension from 1996...

The best part is the saddle...


"Cash talks..." What a tool bag.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I have one of those cut out Terry seats on my 303.
And its got the "adjustment vagina" through the top tube to adjust the geo.

Its like my bike has two pleasure giving orifaces.
Though note to self, naked DH on that bike can cause your nuts to get in a pickle.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I think I have a "messing with sasquatch" kind of problem when it comes to people like this on Craigslist.

So I sent him a request letter.

Hey there buddy,

Just saw your Porsche bike on CL here in Reno. Let me tell you, she's a beauty, and just what I am in the market for. I have a few questions and I need some more photos, but I think we're good to go on this bike.

1. Can you take photos of the following areas for me:
- Inside the headtube
- Inside the bottom bracket
- Under the seat
- The tops and bottoms of the cantilever bosses
- The drop-outs from behind without the wheel in but with a dowel or something to verify that they are straight.
- every 2" to 3" down the down-tube
- The fronts and backs of the stancions.
- The tires next to a new tire so I can figure out how much tread is really left on them.

2. I had a few questions:
- Has that bike seat ever been ridden by someone in the nude?
- Has the bike ever been in any major accidents or run into a garage door?
- Do you have it in any other color.
- When did you purchase it?
- Do you know if the previous owner may or may not have used it in any sexual capacity?


I just ask because I want to turn your bike into a sex machine like you see on the internet. I think I can turn a pretty penny off of it by webcasting women having "Sex with a Porsche." What do you think? My wife and my girlfriend (we're polyamorus) think its a great idea, and are more than willing to "put the work in" if you know what I mean to make this venture a cash cow.

Also, are you open to offers?

Thanks a lot in advance, and wish us luck,
Ian
 

dump

Turbo Monkey
Oct 12, 2001
8,194
4,419
That can't possibly be a real bike. :confused:
Definitely real. Had a lot of buzz in the magazines in the mid 90s, but I never saw one around. Remember them being an absurd amount of money... and not great bikes either.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Guess I sent that email to CL central, there wasn't a working email for this guy on there.

Wonder if I should just call him up...
 

eaterofdog

ass grabber
Sep 8, 2006
8,187
1,426
Central Florida
Porsche S

Far and away, every rider's favorite bike was the $2000 Porsche S. Like a Porsche sports car, the Porsche S is distinctly different in design, extremely well built from high-quality components by Votec in Germany and an absolute blast to ride. Our riders made comments like "super," "smooth and predictable" and even, "best bike I've ever ridden."

The Porsche S is built around a large, 60mm-dia. tube of 7020 aluminum. This rigid backbone connects the steering head and pedal area, a critical necessity for good handling. Additional smaller tubes triangulate the rear axle and seat post. Typical of Porsche's quality throughout, the S frame is powder-coated in Indian Red.

Front suspension is a Votec GSIII fork with motorcycle-style aluminum triple clamps and 80mm of suspension travel. Microcellular elastomers are used in the fork tubes. The entire drivetrain is Sachs Neos, including the Power-Grip Extreme shifters, gears, hubs, derailleur and crank set. Rims are Rigida DP25s that are anodized black except on the braking surfaces. Tires are Continental Leader Pros, which seem to work well on most surfaces.

One of the neatest features is a set of Magura HS 22 hydraulic rim brakes. Just as they do for cars and motorcycles, hydraulic brakes provide a linear feel and more positive action than cable-activated brakes. Typical of Porsche attention to detail, the brake-caliper bridges are carbon-fiber reinforced and the brake calipers are finished in red to match the frame.

At just 23 pounds, this is one of the lightest suspended bikes we've ridden, and it handles impeccably. The ride is not as plush as a fully suspended bike, but the light weight and precise handling more than make up for the lack of a rear suspension. Most of us thought that the S would retail at $3500, not the $2000 Porsche is asking. It's a bargain.
Companies that know nothing about bikes should not be building them and magazines that know nothing about bikes should not be reviewing them.

Hydro rims brakes are cool though.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
He's calling me back in 30.
I could actually hear the fist pumping through the phone...
 

James

Carbon Porn Star
Sep 11, 2001
3,559
0
Danbury, CT
Companies that know nothing about bikes should not be building them and magazines that know nothing about bikes should not be reviewing them.

Hydro rims brakes are cool though.
Those bikes were just rebranded Votec bikes from the time. Pretty neat, from an engineering standpoint, and their own integrated forks, etc.
Mercedes did a branded AMP B-5 that folded up into a trunk bag, but I think BMW's bikes were just some random POS.
 

Demomonkey

Monkey
Apr 27, 2005
857
0
Auckland New Zealand
We had a guy on local EBay (trademe.co.nz) trying to sell his Porsche FS bike for about 6months. It was a complete balls up each time he posted as he was asking $10K NZD for his 'collectors edition' Votex ripoff which was 10 years old. The guy got flamed so bad he gave up in the end.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Guy never called me back.
I'm calling again tomorrow. One of my buddies is going to get in on the caper.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Just got a call back.

Didn't get the recorder out fast enough.

I asked him just straight down that letter I sent him.

"Whadda you, some kinda ****in funny guy?"
"What are you, some sort of juiced up retard who cannot comprehend the real value of things."
"If I ever see you on the street you ****ing maggot, its on!"
"What's on, a lesson in micro-economics?"
"Micro wha???"
"Lemme guess, you drive an IROC huh?"

** Click **

Guess he didn't enjoy my questions. Son-of-a-bitch.