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it's sandal time again

TULSATUMBLERSGF

GRASSHOPPER
Jan 22, 2004
221
0
Tulsa, OK
I just got this email and it cracked me up...

thought other gals might think it was funny!



Just a friendly reminder - it's that time of the year again.

Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over And touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe. I will sand down any mounds of rough, tough skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, co-worker, mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.Scholl if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages. I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the>world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show of wear and tear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...
 

rainbow_smoke

Monkey
Sep 19, 2003
265
0
Bellingham, WA
thats great!!!

Especially the part about the toes hanging on the ground. that always bothers me.

My fave sandles are Teva's and Birkenstocks.

Something else that should be added is that after wearing sandels at the end of the day you will throughly wash feet with lots of soap then lotion them so thy are not all dry and cracked.
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,155
1
austin
i know i'm a guy posting in the hunnies forum, but i would just like to say sandles/flip flops are the worst fad ever.

aw, i just found a hole in my boxers. poo.
 

laura

DH_Laura
Jul 16, 2002
6,259
15
Glitter Gulch
Originally posted by the Inbred
i know i'm a guy posting in the hunnies forum, but i would just like to say sandles/flip flops are the worst fad ever.

aw, i just found a hole in my boxers. poo.

uh, hate to tell you this but sandals and flip flops are no fad.
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,329
5
in da shed, mon, in da shed
May I add another?

Unless you are Jesus or Spartacus, do NOT wear sandals if you are a guy. Guy feet are by nature unkempt, ugly, smelly and hairy. If guy feet are not any of the above, than they are owned by one of dubious masculinity. Hippies, of course, may feel free to ignore this rule as they do most others. :D

(Sorry to intrude, BTW...)
 

TULSATUMBLERSGF

GRASSHOPPER
Jan 22, 2004
221
0
Tulsa, OK
Originally posted by llkoolkeg
(Sorry to intrude, BTW...)
no intrusion... ur allowed to voice your opinion...

Cooter wears flip flops all summer long... it isnt gross cuz his feet are actually in better shape than mine! ha ha! DAMMIT!
 

OCDH

Chimp
Feb 5, 2002
51
0
Orange County, CA
*sigh*

I think my sandal wearing days are over.......I went over the bars last weekend, and on the way over, I managed to catch my big toenail on the seam of my shoe and proceeded to peel the entire thing off the nail bed. It is only attached at the sides now, so I can't pull it off until it is good an ready. Technically, I still have a toenail, but it is a matter of time before it comes off, and then no nail for at least 4 months:(
 

Snacks

Turbo Monkey
Feb 20, 2003
3,523
0
GO! SEAHAWKS!
Originally posted by OCDH
*sigh*

I think my sandal wearing days are over.......I went over the bars last weekend, and on the way over, I managed to catch my big toenail on the seam of my shoe and proceeded to peel the entire thing off the nail bed. It is only attached at the sides now, so I can't pull it off until it is good an ready. Technically, I still have a toenail, but it is a matter of time before it comes off, and then no nail for at least 4 months:(
Ouch!

I loss my toenails all the time due to soccer. I end up just painting the skin, of where the nail should be, with some really pretty polish and from a distance you can't even tell. ;)
 

tmx

aka chromegoddess
Mar 16, 2003
1,683
2
Portland
"I managed to catch my big toenail on the seam of my shoe and proceeded to peel the entire thing off the nail bed. "

aaaagghh!! ugh. oh jeez. yyeeoowww and yuck. i feel for ya' OC.
 

TULSATUMBLERSGF

GRASSHOPPER
Jan 22, 2004
221
0
Tulsa, OK
Originally posted by OCDH
*sigh*

I think my sandal wearing days are over.......I went over the bars last weekend, and on the way over, I managed to catch my big toenail on the seam of my shoe and proceeded to peel the entire thing off the nail bed. It is only attached at the sides now, so I can't pull it off until it is good an ready. Technically, I still have a toenail, but it is a matter of time before it comes off, and then no nail for at least 4 months:(

omg... ouch!!!! i cant even imagine the pain you were in! :dead:
 

OCDH

Chimp
Feb 5, 2002
51
0
Orange County, CA
Originally posted by Snacks
Ouch!

I loss my toenails all the time due to soccer. I end up just painting the skin, of where the nail should be, with some really pretty polish and from a distance you can't even tell. ;)
Actually, this does bring up another subject on toenails: all of my toenails are kind of whitish and broken at the tips. I think it is from repeatedly smashing my toes against the ends of my shoes from riding, spinning, and running. Does anyone else have this problem and is there a solution? Other than keeping the nails painted, which is purely cosmetic?
 

Velocity Girl

whack-a-mole
Sep 12, 2001
1,279
0
Atlanta
OOOWWWWW!!!! Sorry to hear about your toenail OCDH :(

My toenails and feet are a complete lost cause...but I'm bad and wear sandals anyway :p

My toenails are also always cracked and what not, and I have a lot of white in 'em. I know mine is partially from having psoriasis, but I'm sure the abuse to my feet doesn't help much either!!!
 

TreeSaw

Mama Monkey
Oct 30, 2003
17,669
1,847
Dancin' over rocks n' roots!
I :love: my Teva's and flipflops...

I try to keep my toenails trimmed her and moisturize my feet relatively often so that helps to keep my nails stronger and from cracking. Also, keeping a nail strengthener (a lot of clear polishes are) helps too! Believe me, I don't really do this often but it passes the time on a rainy day and goes great w/beer drinking! :thumb: :D
 

TreeSaw

Mama Monkey
Oct 30, 2003
17,669
1,847
Dancin' over rocks n' roots!
Originally posted by OCDH
*sigh*

I think my sandal wearing days are over.......I went over the bars last weekend, and on the way over, I managed to catch my big toenail on the seam of my shoe and proceeded to peel the entire thing off the nail bed. It is only attached at the sides now, so I can't pull it off until it is good an ready. Technically, I still have a toenail, but it is a matter of time before it comes off, and then no nail for at least 4 months:(
OW doesn't even begin to describe the pain! :dead:
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,155
1
austin
oh my god...i was sitting in class, right? this guy wearing flip-flops picks on his big toe nail. that's bad enough, but then, he started chewing on the fingernails that he used to pick on his toe nails. ew.