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I've got my Cruel Shoez on B!tchez..!!!

sneakysnake

sneakysnake

Monkey
Apr 2, 2006
875
1
NC
now all you need is short shorts, a tight shirt and pink hair and you can hit the streets to make some money. :) :)
 
N8 v2.0

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
narlus said:
i guess those 'are N8 and Bikerfox the same person' conspiracy theories are answered now.
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BikerFox... all the drunk passed out women want him and all the men wanna be him!!! :p

 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
55,810
21,818
Sleazattle
Cruel Shoes

Anna knew she had to have some new shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, "Well, that's every pair of shoes in the place."

"Oh, you must have one more pair..."

"No, not one more pair... Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want..."

Anna interrupted, "Oh yes, let me see the cruel shoes!"

Carlo looked incredulous. "No Anna, you don't understand, you see the cruel shoes are..."

"Get them!"

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoe box. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had aright angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.

Carlo spoke hesitantly, "... Now you see why... they're not fit for humans..."

"Put them on me."

"But..."

"Put them on me!"

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The screams were incredible.

Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

"I like them."

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, "Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes."

-Steve Martin
 
N8 v2.0

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
Westy said:
Cruel Shoes

Anna knew she had to have some new shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, "Well, that's every pair of shoes in the place."

-Steve Martin
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APPROVED!
 
binary visions

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,151
1,253
NC
Tenchiro said:
Umm, my girlfriend has a pair of shoes just like that....
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Uh, your girlfriend owns a pair of shoes that ugly?

I'm actually not sure if it's worse for a guy or a girl to own those monstrosities :p
 
Tenchiro

Tenchiro

Attention K Mart Shoppers
Jul 19, 2002
5,407
0
New England
binary visions said:
Uh, your girlfriend owns a pair of shoes that ugly?

I'm actually not sure if it's worse for a guy or a girl to own those monstrosities :p
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She used to be a Goth... :nonono:
 
Ciaran

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
N8 said:
The Cruel Shoez were kickin' long long long before 'cool' could be bought at the local Hot Topic at the mall....
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So was goth. Remember waaaaaaay back when you were young and would see someone into the goth thing and you would think they were a freak? Nowadays we just look at them and say, "Ah, suburban kids wearing their ghey teenage uniform."

I'm still gonna make fun of your shoez, though. :p
 
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