JD Vance had sex with a couch.
- Thread starter Sandwich
- Start date
imagine plastic covers on every sofa in the white house.
better than cousins
Glad to see I'm not the only one with this new story in my feed.
Did he just grab it by the cushions?
Was the couch asking for it?
Was it a pull out couch?
God finds out about seed getting spilled...
Here is somethin' you can't understand
How I could just kill Onana
Was the couch asking for it?
Was it a pull out couch?
God finds out about seed getting spilled...
Here is somethin' you can't understand
How I could just kill Onana
I believe it was with a rubber glove between the cushions, so I guess at least it was safe sex with no awkward abortion to pay for or illegitimate ottoman to hide from people down the line.
Survey says...
Don’t worry. The cat lady comment was real and should continue to bear fruit for the rest of the season.
define "sex"
That is just one side of the story, what does the couch say?
TBH, this is how we know that he did. He may not have written about it as claimed, but he definitely f@cked a couch. Maybe an ottoman and a bean bag too...
Well. It could be a reverse Couch of Theseus kind of thing. If a person used couch cushions to hold something like a fleshlight, they’d have a good argument that they banged a fleshlight and the couch was just used for support. In this case there was only an alleged, theoretical glove involved but the claim wasn’t that he banged a glove. So, somewhere between a fleshlight and a glove lies a tipping point where based on the device being used, one transitions from banging the thing in the sofa to banging the sofa itself.
I look forward to the RM discourse about inanimate object intercourse.
My couch pulls out, but I don’t.
ALLEGEDLY.
Jesus fuck, it’s almost not worth thinkin’ about.
NSFW Audio, so age restricted.
Well, son, when a man loves a piece of furniture, he takes his shame and hides it right in between the cushions. In a few months, the news story comes out and he tries desperately to wash it away.
Allegedly.
I am fairly confident he has rubbed his anus on a couch, the remaining question is whether there was penetration.
Prophetic
Did JD Vance accidentally reveal he searched for inappropriate video of a woman and a dolphin?
'I dread to think what the rest of your search history looks like dude.'
www.dailydot.com
best vp candidate ever
The Mooch, worst Trump pick ever, or just the most self aware?