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Jesus did it!

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
9,890
4
Hypernormality
In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.
WTF,WTF,WTF,WTFFF?

"This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that," said board member Janet Waugh, a Kansas City Democrat.
 

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
9,890
4
Hypernormality
But what about when the crop gets a disease, and the only response of the locals is to pray for it? What then eh? Won't somebody please think of the corn!
 

reflux

Turbo Monkey
Mar 18, 2002
4,622
2
G14 Classified
Sure, while Kansas may suffer both economically and socially over the long-term (assuming that the ruling stands), it should take pride in that all other states will soon cower under Kansas's theological prowess.
 

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,640
4
SF, CA
Silver said:
In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.
The following phrase has been carefully chosen by me for this situation:
Jesus ****ing Christ, God help us all.
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,844
11
So Cal
Changleen said:
The Vatican hates poptarts, no wait, I mean freedom, no wait...

I'm so confused....
Shhhhhh... there there. It'll be OK... just eat another blessed poptart...
 

kinghami3

Future Turbo Monkey
Jun 1, 2004
2,241
0
Ballard 4 life.
reflux said:
Sure, while Kansas may suffer both economically and socially over the long-term (assuming that the ruling stands), it should take pride in that all other states will soon cower under Kansas's theological prowess.
As a Theology major, I'm preparing to throw myself off a bridge... into a river of poptarts. :dead:
 

kidwoo

Celebrating No-Pants Day
Aug 25, 2003
22,479
2,152
In my pants
Heath Sherratt said:
It's interesting that the general public believes that Catholisism has anything to do with Christ.
Without jeebus, mary would be just another roman soldier rape victim. But of course that never happened so she's special. And invented catholicism.
 

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,640
4
SF, CA
Heath Sherratt said:
It's interesting that the general public believes that Catholisism has anything to do with Christ.
The general public and 10s of millions of Catholics, but hey, clearly their opinion is less valid than the folks that think THEIR Jesus is the real one.
 

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,978
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
Changleen said:
But what about when the crop gets a disease, and the only response of the locals is to pray for it? What then eh? Won't somebody please think of the corn!

They'll sacrifice virgins!! The only way to prevent it is to make sure all the woman folk in kansas aren't virgins.

ROAD TRIP!!!!
 

MudGrrl

AAAAH! Monkeys stole my math!
Mar 4, 2004
3,123
0
Boston....outside of it....
Reactor said:
They'll sacrifice virgins!! The only way to prevent it is to make sure all the woman folk in kansas aren't virgins.
they've all probably signed up for The Silver Ring Thing

"The Silver Ring Thing is the fastest growing international teen abstinence program. The Program offers a high-tech presentation style incorporating music, laser lights, humor and solid Gospel presentation."
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,815
8
looking for classic NE singletrack
MudGrrl said:
they've all probably signed up for The Silver Ring Thing

"The Silver Ring Thing is the fastest growing international teen abstinence program. The Program offers a high-tech presentation style incorporating music, laser lights, humor and solid Gospel presentation."
HOLY F**K! :eek: :eek: :eek:

From that link:

A British study found that HPV infects 46% of teenage girls after their first sexual intercourse

Nearly 50% of african-american teens have genital herpes.

More than 40% of American girls become pregnant at least once by age 20.

:think:

Something tells me that these "facts" might not be entirely accurate...

edit: also, for some reason, in the "statistics" part they don't give the stats of recent survey's that show that abstinence-only programs have zero bearing on STD transmission... fewer kids have sex, but those that do have a lower rate of using condoms.
 

ohio

The Fresno Kid
Nov 26, 2001
6,640
4
SF, CA
dante said:
HOLY F**K! :eek: :eek: :eek:
also, for some reason, in the "statistics" part they don't give the stats of recent survey's that show that abstinence-only programs have zero bearing on STD transmission... fewer kids have sex, but those that do have a lower rate of using condoms.
They also fail to take into account that all of the kids in the abstinence program that ACTUALLY abstain couldn't get any even if they wanted, so they should be excluded from the study.
 

reflux

Turbo Monkey
Mar 18, 2002
4,622
2
G14 Classified
ohio said:
They also fail to take into account that all of the kids in the abstinence program that ACTUALLY abstain couldn't get any even if they wanted, so they should be excluded from the study.
lmfao!
 

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
9,890
4
Hypernormality
I just loved this article:

http://blog.sciam.com/index.php?title=kansas_where_ignorant_is_the_new_educate&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1

Kansas, Where "Ignorant" is the New "Educated"

Kansas: People say that it's flat. But to me it seems to be going downhill.

Somewhere right now in Kansas, there is a little child who may grow up to be a brilliant scientist. She may make fantastic contributions to science, and future generations may remember her as one of the brightest intellectual lights of her time. But if so, it will be despite the public education that she received in Kansas, because today six dimwits on the state's Board of Education voted to lower the standards for how science is taught.

Needless to say, they don't think they are lowering the standards--to the contrary, they think they are raising them. That's how you can tell they are dimwits.

Supporters of the standards said they will promote academic freedom. "It gets rid of a lot of dogma that's being taught in the classroom today," said board member John Bacon, an Olathe Republican.

If George Orwell were alive, I think he'd agree this development is not only good but doubleplusgood. Because just teaching kids the right answers is an unbearable infringement on academic freedom. Just think of the advantages that those Kansas students will have when they go up against their peers from other states and other parts of the world, who only know the accepted facts and theories and think that logical consistency is desirable in science.

he standards state that high school students must understand major evolutionary concepts. But they also declare that some concepts have been challenged in recent years by fossil evidence and molecular biology.

The challenged concepts cited include the basic Darwinian theory that all life had a common origin and the theory that natural chemical processes created the building blocks of life.

In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.

It wasn't enough for them to undermine the teaching of biology by falsifying a scientific controversy over evolution. No, the Board of Education went as far as to redefine what science is: it's no longer just a search for natural explanations for natural phenomena. Now it's a search for... well, that's a bit hard to say. Any sort of explanation, apparently. Pixies, ghosts, telekinesis, auras, ancient astronauts, excesses of choleric humor, they all seem to be fair game in the interest of "academic freedom." Oh, and God, of course. The Board might not say that because it could get them into trouble with the Supreme Court, but can anyone say with a straight face that getting God into the science classes isn't the goal of the people who pushed for these changes?

"This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that," said board member Janet Waugh, a Kansas City Democrat.

Well, it is a shame, but really, no great harm done. Really. Science and technology will continue to advance anyway, no matter how low the standards in Kansas sink. Students from Kansas will still manage to get into colleges, at least if the colleges aren't too picky about preparation in science, and at least some of those students will come to realize how backward their public educations were, and they'll scramble to compensate. The students who don't will surely find work in fields other than science. If Kansas becomes scientifically irrelevant for a while, I'm sure that plenty of other places, inside the U.S. and out, can pick up the slack.

The state motto of Kansas is Ad astra per aspera: "To the stars through difficulties." But it doesn't sound like Kansas will be going to the stars any time soon, and in this case, the difficulties are of its own making.