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JohnBryanPeters Aviation Facts:

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
John Bryan Peters took down the Red Baron. Not with bullets, but by using the light refracting off of ice crystals in his famous mustache to blind the german fighter pilot, and fly his plane into a hillside.


John Bryan Peters was the actual father of the Lindbergh baby; it didn't go missing... Peters simply won the custody battle.
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,282
3,106
You forgot he was the little known third Wright brother.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
Amelia Earhart did not "disappear" over the atlantic. She simply averted her flight to the airfeild at John Bryan Peters' "Hacienda Del Amour" on the island of Bimini, and was never heard from again.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
John Bryan Peters did not fly to Hawaii. Hawaii came to him.
In fact, Hawaii was only granted statehood after a large majority of the island chain's children turned out be American citizens, having been fathered during a 6-day JohnBryanPeters visit in the 1940s.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
Little known fact: "Kamikaze" is actually Spanish for "Soar Like Eagle, Land Like Peters."
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
37,071
3,945
Sleazattle
The Dinosaurs did not go extinct because of an extraterrestrial impact. John Brian Peters just ate some bad mexican food.
 

I Are Baboon

Run, Forrest, Run!
Aug 6, 2001
29,528
2,149
MTB New England
The Dinosaurs did not go extinct because of an extraterrestrial impact. John Brian Peters just ate some bad mexican food.
On another slightly related note, NASA has stopped tracking asteroids and near Earth objects because should an asteroid draw a bead on Earth, johnbryanpeters would just catch it.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
37,071
3,945
Sleazattle
Dupont researchers developed Kevlar by studying the molecular structure of John Brian Peters mustache. No blade can trim his beard but there is no need, he can retract the follicles back into his face.
 

Dartman

Old Bastard Mike
Feb 26, 2003
3,916
0
Richmond, VA
Dupont researchers developed Kevlar by studying the molecular structure of John Brian Peters mustache. No blade can trim his beard but there is no need, he can retract the follicles back into his face.
I was going to say you could get enough carbon fiber from it to build an Airbus A300.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
John Bryan Peters piloted a donkey strapped to a jet engine into Chuck Yeager's back yard and managed to impregnated his wife, daughter, 3 cats and unborn son while Yeager was checking the mail.
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
11,565
424
Groton, MA
JBP built the pyramids, erected Stonehenge, painted the Sistine Chapel, carved Niagara Falls, and carved Mount Rushmore.......all before puberty.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
President Ronald Reagan was forced to rename his personal airplane, the "JBP One" to "Air-Force One" because foreign nations were too terrified to allow a plane of that name to land.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,184
13
TN
The Hindenberg disaster had nothing to do with hydrogen gas. In fact, John Bryan Peters simply doesnt like German people.