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JohnBryanPeters Aviation Facts:

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BurlyShirley, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    John Bryan Peters took down the Red Baron. Not with bullets, but by using the light refracting off of ice crystals in his famous mustache to blind the german fighter pilot, and fly his plane into a hillside.


    John Bryan Peters was the actual father of the Lindbergh baby; it didn't go missing... Peters simply won the custody battle.
     

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  2. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    You forgot he was the little known third Wright brother.
     
  3. johnbryanpeters

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    And sold feathers and wax to Icarus.
     
  4. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    Amelia Earhart did not "disappear" over the atlantic. She simply averted her flight to the airfeild at John Bryan Peters' "Hacienda Del Amour" on the island of Bimini, and was never heard from again.
     
  5. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    John Bryan Peters did not fly to Hawaii. Hawaii came to him.
     
  6. johnbryanpeters

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    Oh, you could hear her. She tended to be very vocal under some circumstances.
     
  7. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    He raped a pterodactyl......
     
  8. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    In fact, Hawaii was only granted statehood after a large majority of the island chain's children turned out be American citizens, having been fathered during a 6-day JohnBryanPeters visit in the 1940s.
     
  9. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    JohnBryanPeters was offered the lead role in "Snakes on a Plane", but during auditions the snakes were too scared of him.
     
  10. douglas

    douglas Chocolate Milk Doug

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    JohnBryanPeters had a baby, and named him Chuck Norris
     
  11. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Johnny Brian Peter's appendix and tonsils actually do something.
     
  12. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    Well Maybe Windows is Bearable ! Unix Rules !
    John Bryan Peters Mustache was inspiration for the F4U corsair

     
  13. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    Little known fact: "Kamikaze" is actually Spanish for "Soar Like Eagle, Land Like Peters."
     
  14. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    The offspring from that milestone in history, today are known as "Apache Attack Helicopters."
     
  15. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    The Death Star was not blown up by Luke Skywalker. It was punched by johnbryanpeters.
     
  16. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    On a slightly related note, a "Wookie" is what happens when you cross a John Bryan Peters with an Ewok.
     
  17. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    The Dinosaurs did not go extinct because of an extraterrestrial impact. John Brian Peters just ate some bad mexican food.
     
  18. McGRP01

    McGRP01 beer and bikes

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    John Bryan Peters can circumnavigate the globe in a single day. Without a plane.
     
  19. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    Extra-intestinal impact?
     
  20. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    On another slightly related note, NASA has stopped tracking asteroids and near Earth objects because should an asteroid draw a bead on Earth, johnbryanpeters would just catch it.
     
  21. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    johnbryanpeters can bench press a Boeing 747.
     
  22. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    In his mustache.
     
  23. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    I thought you were.
     
  24. BadDNA

    BadDNA hophead

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    Goliath took a dive...JBP was his next opponent.
     
  25. valve bouncer

    valve bouncer Master Dildoist

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    He can also kick-start a B52.
     
  26. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    Not only is he able to detect Stealth fighters, but he can leap up and punch them out of the sky...
     
  27. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Dupont researchers developed Kevlar by studying the molecular structure of John Brian Peters mustache. No blade can trim his beard but there is no need, he can retract the follicles back into his face.
     
  28. Dartman

    Dartman Old Bastard Mike

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    I was going to say you could get enough carbon fiber from it to build an Airbus A300.
     
  29. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    John Bryan Peters piloted a donkey strapped to a jet engine into Chuck Yeager's back yard and managed to impregnated his wife, daughter, 3 cats and unborn son while Yeager was checking the mail.
     
  30. CrabJoe StretchPants

    CrabJoe StretchPants Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick

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    JBP built the pyramids, erected Stonehenge, painted the Sistine Chapel, carved Niagara Falls, and carved Mount Rushmore.......all before puberty.
     
  31. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    President Ronald Reagan was forced to rename his personal airplane, the "JBP One" to "Air-Force One" because foreign nations were too terrified to allow a plane of that name to land.
     
  32. BadDNA

    BadDNA hophead

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    Fixed.
     
  33. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    JBP WAS Appollo 11...
     
  34. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    The Hindenberg disaster had nothing to do with hydrogen gas. In fact, John Bryan Peters simply doesnt like German people.
     
  35. BadDNA

    BadDNA hophead

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    Sputnik was a transistor radio that played a song JBP didn't want to hear so he launched it into orbit.
     
  36. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    JBP beat up Bill Brasky...
     
  37. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    "Spruce Goose" is just a variation of an old JBP nickname..."Sequoya Sodomy"
     
  38. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    Is known to the ladies of the world to be "stiff in-plane".......
     
  39. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    He can palm the Goodyear blimp like a basket ball