[golgiaparatus]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her
husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

 

[Trond]

Nice!

Here's another:

I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so We decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was My mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she can't overcome. So before I get married and commit my life to her daughter, she wants to make love to me just once..

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just Come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the Front door...

I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn't have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!

Lesson learned: Always keep your condoms in your car.

 

[golgiaparatus]

An oldie but a goodie

Heres another:

A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life
that when she married she was to please her husband
and never upset him. So the first morning of her
honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of
bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her
husband's clothes and accidentally let out a big
fart.

She looked up and said:

"Aww *so sowwy...excuse prease, front hole so
happy back hole laugh out loud.