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Lenzerheide - Jackalope missedthe boat

Sandro

Sandro

Terrified of Cucumbers
Nov 12, 2006
3,228
2,541
The old world
"Once again he chooses the wrong line"

I love how the ever humble and friendly Claudio can't keep himself from constantly pointing out his superior line choices.
Also, that track looks unexpectedly great.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
Aug 25, 2003
42,149
13,358
Squirtin ketchup n' mustard on charred flesh
I predict gwin folds both wheels because someone slipped blowcore™ tubes in there, he finds himself floating on what he can only assume is a jesus suspended hoverbike of hope, only to find out in his nightmares later that week that it was definitely a hover bike, but one powered by satan who now owns his soul. Gwinn admits to making split second deal on track that only steve jones (with the help of oprah) uncovers in an exclusive dirt print retro edition.
 
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jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,699
6,107
in a single wide, cooking meth...
While I am glad to see this thread get posted, I will ask the mods to consider changing the title to: "2 Swiss Misses, 1 World Cup". Failing that, perhaps "Lederhosen Bike Carnival".

But let's get down to the race analytics and set the stage for another scintillating round of World Cup competition..real World Cup action mind you, not any of that unpatriotic footsport crap.

• as we all know, modern humans originated from the fertile crescent of Africa, thousands of years ago (with the notable exception of Ted Cruz, who originated from a poorly maintained Golden Corral bathroom in Waco, TX). However, what is not as well known is that Switzerland was actually founded by brave explorers from Swaziland. The naming nomenclature is unimportant and lost in the annals of time, but it does explain why the Swiss have generally preferred a neutral position in European affairs (they've never understood what these euro-chalkies are always fighting about). It also comes as no surprise they're the world leaders in chocolate.

• the course looks like a (ghey) bike park and could easily be ridden (masterfully ) by the overwhelming percentage of RM members. Certainly not up Mt. Psychosis standards.

• no hot chicks around, and the scenery is decidedly uninspiring.

• I've never really liked that powdered swiss miss hot chocolate. However, I would happily buy bags of cylindrical swiss cheese nuggets, which are of course the byproducts of the hole punching process.

• they're the only country I'm aware of that has a national bikini team...and they really don't have any beaches...props.

• One Mr. Sam Hill is back on track. There's high speed flat turns...just saying.

• the Swiss bank eliminated the ceiling on the franc, so now no one is (still) not buying Swatches.


After carefully analyzing the above date, here are my likely podium contenders:

1. Gwin...oooh, really going out on a limb aren't you Jackie? But bear with me...He'll be rocking the new top secret S-works crabon balance bike. That's right - drive train? Ninja please...brakes? Pffft, that's what finish line fans are for. Suspension...only for the gheys. The revolutionary (and crudely lumpy) wunder bike causes much despair amongst the component manufacturers of the world, who are now relegated to only making crabon bike sun towels.

2. Hans Rey - smashing down the alpine course on a vintage schwinn straight 8, the only thing that keeps him off the top is his penchant for trials dropping the road gaps.

3. Nick Beer - he's Swiss, his first name is Nick, his last name is Beer. It all adds up to his most impressive WC result to date.

4. Bucko - yes, technically Morzine is in France, but it's close enough to the give this well liked monkey a competitive edge here in Switzerland. Much rejoicing occurs in his bong shed afterwards.

5. Mutha Fucking Steve Peat - recognizing sheffield steel still can't pedal a bike and VPP is unrideable anyway, SCB follows the example set by Big S and makes their own (non-lumpy) crabon balance bike, using their soon to be patented Virtual Balance Point technology. Peat is only slowed by his penchant to stop and enjoy a Stella with some of the local bikini talent.


So while I am bummed that Peat is still out, I am erectally stoked that Sam is back, and hopefully stevie smith will be closer back to form. All that said, it's hard to bet against the holy rock ghost -

1. Gwin - although if it rains, things will get real interesting methinks.

2. Joe Smith - if it can't be stevie smith, then Joe it is!

3. Winngnar - for some reason I think this course will suit Greg quite well. Maybe some inside baseball from Peat.

4. Hart - in short, dude is back on his game, and there doesn't seem to be much pedaling on this track.

5. Sam MF'ing Hill - because Sam Hill.


Ladies:

1. Rach - wanted some serious comp for her this year, but she's back with a vengeance and seems to have regained her advantage over the rest of the field.

2. Ragot - maybe the only threat to Rach assuming that Manon is just a little off her form this season.

3. Manon - still love this tough limey lass!

4. Seagraves - seems to be gaining confidence and speed with almost every race.

5. Hannah - podium spot and honorary swiss bikini team member :thumb:

Track looks sublime, and I for one am looking forward to a helluva race.
 
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R

ritche

Monkey
Dec 3, 2011
311
19
i predict UCI to ban balance bikes, no pedaling, no braking at WC and world chumps competition! also bans stiff/ rigid like settings on forks and shocks (dangerous but winning) and including BOS data acquisition like contraption (cheating), and also pro core like tire set up (for littering the race track).

..... do you also see a 2015 world chumps Gwin?

1. gwin
2. minaar
3. gee
4. remi
5. hill
 
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Kanye West

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,767
501
I predict the pedaling guys will get an edge in the middle of the course. I counted at least two turns that went from fall-line to a sharp 90 degree corner right into a flat or (what looked like) a slight uphill. Momentum + horsepower is gonna win in those sections.
 
Flo33

Flo33

Turbo Monkey
Mar 3, 2015
2,135
1,364
Styria
Hacktastic said:
I predict the pedaling guys will get an edge in the middle of the course. I counted at least two turns that went from fall-line to a sharp 90 degree corner right into a flat or (what looked like) a slight uphill. Momentum + horsepower is gonna win in those sections.
Click to expand...
Winnaar
 
norbar

norbar

KESSLER PROBLEM. Just cause
Jun 7, 2007
11,503
1,719
Warsaw :/
The big sender followed by a bridge/jump suposedly gives you too much speed for the bridge and someone landed in the berm behind the bridge and broken his handlebars acording to dirt fb.
 
slyfink

slyfink

Turbo Monkey
Sep 16, 2008
9,784
5,601
Ottawa, Canada
Based on what I could glean from the PB course walk and Claudio's pre-ride, it seems the track is steep, with technical high speed corners, and a dousing of tech roots and rocks, and lots and lots of line choices.

Lads:
Gwin (just because)
Minnar (good course for him I think with it being steep and tech, though it's short enough that his racecraft might not be much of an advantage)
Loic (could be two or three. didn't seem happy at Leogang, I think this course could suit him and make him happier)
Remi (for his ability to come up with insane lines and stick them)
Fearon (for his prowess in tricky corners, of which there seems to be quite a bit here)
wildcard Bryce

Ladies:
Rachel (the female Gwin)
Emmeline (close to home, fearless)
Seagraves (close to home, gaining confindence)
Carpenter (still has to shake off the rainbow curse)
Seigenthaler (close to home)
 
TrumbullHucker

TrumbullHucker

trumbullruxer
Aug 29, 2005
2,284
719
shimzbury, ct
banj said:
Is he relaxing, or are the crash victims stacking up. Reminds me of that Chatel video from a few years back.

Click to expand...
thats what i was kinda thinking.. caption of the picture up there ^
"Final jump carnage here in Lenzerheide. 'hardest crash of my life' according to one of the three riders down and out in this shot. 40 footer into a turn..? Hopefully they'll remove the catch netting which the riders are getting caught in as they fly out the berm."
 
'size

'size

Turbo Monkey
May 30, 2007
2,000
338
AZ
throwing down an FU timed training run after the last round would be mental game smarts. wonder if that's his plan or if he's just that much ahead of the field in track comfort since he usually doesn't show his cards this early.
 
squiby

squiby

Chimp
Jul 26, 2010
91
13
norbar said:
The big sender followed by a bridge/jump suposedly gives you too much speed for the bridge and someone landed in the berm behind the bridge and broken his handlebars acording to dirt fb.
Click to expand...
Sounds like the perfect "Rat" trap.
 
jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,699
6,107
in a single wide, cooking meth...
Virtually Unrideable Pivot system question - I see that Greg is running a custom lower link on his V8.5, so any insight into what the purpose for this modifcation is? Experimenting with more rideable kinematics and/or reshaped to fit the X2? Apologies if this is old news.
 
TrumbullHucker

TrumbullHucker

trumbullruxer
Aug 29, 2005
2,284
719
shimzbury, ct
jackalope said:
Virtually Unrideable Pivot system question - I see that Greg is running a custom lower link on his V8.5, so any insight into what the purpose for this modifcation is? Experimenting with more rideable kinematics and/or reshaped to fit the X2? Apologies if this is old news.
Click to expand...
http://www.vitalmtb.com/photos/features/PIT-BITS-World-Cup-Lenzerheide-Switzerland,9126/WORLD-CUP-PIT-BITS-Greg-Minnaars-Santa-Cruz-V10cc-Limo,94211/sspomer,2


With the custom rear linkage and pivot placement, Chris King BuzzWorks headset cups, and extended front end, Greg's bike has a 52mm longer wheelbase. Rumor is Greg and Peaty are thinking about starting an Uber-style limousine service once their World Cup careers are over.




and a nice touch from vital lol
 
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