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LMGDAO! This is just too funny not to post....

mud'n'sweat

Falcon
Feb 12, 2006
1,250
0
Found this on another forum:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
 

cadmus

Monkey
May 24, 2006
755
0
PNW
I'm forwarding this to every one I know.... awesome!

Gold Diggers, just like hookers - only smarter.
 

reflux

Turbo Monkey
Mar 18, 2002
4,617
2
G14 Classified
elRey said:
If I wasn't in a good mood right now, I would give you negative rep.
Well, I have already approved, so in the event that you end up disapproving, it will only serve to offset my approval. Good god that is an ugly sentence. Whew.
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
elRey said:
If I wasn't in a good mood right now, I would give you negative rep.
I give you neg rep for threatening neg rep on such a fine joke. :D

MudN Sweat, I'd give you approval but I have to spread it around a bit first.
 

mud'n'sweat

Falcon
Feb 12, 2006
1,250
0
No worries Ciaran, I appreciate the love from earlier! :cool:

Glad most of you got a kick out of this one. It had me laughing pretty hard.
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
DaveW said:
I'd give you bad rep for that, but you have so many green squares compared to me I don't think I'd survive. :(


heh heh just kidding bouncy. ;o)
WTF????

"You must spread DaveW around before ruining his reputation again"
Anything you wanna tell us Davo?:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: