look away dixieland....meanwhile in the nfl
- Thread starter stevew
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Wrong, just wrong...
On the fence about this one in principle, having not seen or wanting to see the injuries. Intentionally injuring a kid is never right.
While I don't physically punish my kids I was raised in a household where corporal punishment reigned.
Ass whooping definitely kept me out of serious trouble when I was younger.
Part of me thinks this self centered, entitled society of ours would benefit from less coddling and more discipline. The 'never raise a hand' mentality can create spoiled little monsters.
While I don't physically punish my kids I was raised in a household where corporal punishment reigned.
Ass whooping definitely kept me out of serious trouble when I was younger.
Part of me thinks this self centered, entitled society of ours would benefit from less coddling and more discipline. The 'never raise a hand' mentality can create spoiled little monsters.
^^^
all that up there.
my grandfathers neighbor had a willow tree in their front yard....the grandmother of the neighbors household was fond of cutting a switch from the willow tree and dealing in discipline.
when my great grandfather died...my grandfather finally got to throw away the cat of nine tails used on him when he stepped out of line.
I grew up in a house where a paddle hung on the kitchen wall. It definitely kept me in line. My parents used it fairly and effectively.
If his kid was actually injured, yeah abuse. If this is all about that a switch was used and not because of bruises and welts, then it is all bullshit. There are plenty of kids being abused and neglected out there.
If his kid was actually injured, yeah abuse. If this is all about that a switch was used and not because of bruises and welts, then it is all bullshit. There are plenty of kids being abused and neglected out there.
Am I the only one who cringes at the thought process of:
1. My parents hit me and I turned out okay.
2. Some kids are assholes.
3. Fewer parents hit their kids
THUS, kids are assholes because their parents don't hit them, and the answer is to hit them more.
1. My parents hit me and I turned out okay.
2. Some kids are assholes.
3. Fewer parents hit their kids
THUS, kids are assholes because their parents don't hit them, and the answer is to hit them more.
i might go the skaredshttles route of child raising should i ever have a kid...pushups on the side of the road and cheap maple syrup.
smackababy
My parents never hit me. Do what you will with that info.
Seriously, the thought of my dad's belt kept me flying straighter than I would have otherwise. While I have only had to strike my daughter about a half dozen times, it was never more than a single swat and never used a weapon. But it made the point and she is an amazing child. Not just because of the beatings, but they helped.
<edit> She turns 14 this month, I don't think I've hit her since she was 6.
Was this post referencing mine?
1) I never said I turned out ok
2) I specifically pointed out that I do not physically discipline my kids.
3) I never said a lack of beating was why some kids are assholes; just that the prevalent coddling approach CAN, and does, create entitled little monsters.
All kids, mine included, are assholes. It's impossible not to be when your view on life is so limited and self centered.
Not just yours. You weren't the only one who mentioned it.
Well, you did say "I was raised in a household where corporal punishment reigned. Ass whooping definitely kept me out of serious trouble when I was younger."
That pretty much states that you have decided getting beaten was a positive influence on your life.
Okay... you stated that getting an "ass whooping" kept you out of trouble and the "never raise a hand mentality" can create spoiled monsters... that seems to imply that a lack of a beating is why some kids are assholes. No?
Both coddling and beating kids can create monsters, it doesn't make either one right.
Do you not think that maybe a parent who instilled a strong sense of respect in you without resorting to corporal punishment might have also kept you out of trouble?
It's been proven numerous times that young children and animals do not learn as well with punishment - positive reinforcement is FAR superior. Naive, lazy adults fail to understand that younger and less developed brains in pets/animals see the world differently. Punishment might work best on older individuals , but it doesn't work as well on children or pets.
Seriously, the thought of my dad's belt kept me flying straighter than I would have otherwise. While I have only had to strike my daughter about a half dozen times, it was never more than a single swat and never used a weapon. But it made the point and she is an amazing child. Not just because of the beatings, but they helped.
<edit> She turns 14 this month, I don't think I've hit her since she was 6.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-affair/200809/rewards-are-better-punishment-here-s-why
Thanks for the reply BV.
First off, my initial 'who said I turned out OK' point was sarcasm.
I can only hope that my boys reflect on their childhood as positively as I do mine.
To your question quoted above, the answer is yes, to a degree.
I was raised with an enormous amount of respect and self-worth and physical discipline wasn't a defining aspect of my childhood.
My sons are very self assured and confident. Yet they still step out of line, often deliberately. That's what kids do, push boundaries.
I'd love to hear some examples of positive reinforcement used to directly address bad behavior from the inter web parents.
I was kind of on the fence about this. My child hood home was very similar, except it was wooden spoons. My mom was like a fvcking ninja with a wooden spoon. If she couldn't swat you with it she'd throw it, with an accuracy professional athletes only dream of. My brother and I were active kids, bored easily, and prone to shenanigans. In retrospect, even though I have a terrible adult relationship with my folks, as kids, I don't think we ever really got the business end of the spoon when we didn't deserve it. That said, I heard on NPR just a bit ago, that the child in question, a four year old, had open wounds from the "switch" that had to be attended by a doctor. That's abuse. No if's, and's, or but's.
Despite the story I tell above, growing up I feared nothing more than a lecture from my dad. My father never hit any of us kids. Never. He grew up with a single mom, who was by all accounts, abusive in every sense of the word. I honestly think he was afraid to hit us. Because of this, I think, he developed a way with words that was WAY more devastating than mom patrolling the house with her spoons. Having a sit down with dad was soul crushing, he never raised his voice, and he never swore, but you absolutely knew you'd done gone fvcked up. This seems to be, by no pre-arranged agreement between the wife and I, the approach we use with our daughter. I've spanked Carissa 1 time, and I felt awful about it. I suppose that this of course, depends also on the child. Of course individual kids have individual personalities. To be fair, my daughter is a pretty delicate flower, one doesn't have to give much more than a stern glare to get her lip to quiver and her eyes to well up. I suppose if we had a boy who was even somewhat like my brother or myself, a few more swattings might have been in order. The point of all of this, is that IMHO, there is a line to walk. I'd rather fall to the side of the line where no one is having a "was it child abuse" debate. I'd like to think a healthy adult is capable of distinguishing where that line is. Not to imply that the average football player is a mentally healthy adult.
^^^This. Some might remember a post I made sometime back where I called CPS about a kid up the street. What drove me to that was a conversation I had with Grandma, where she said "he's just a bad kid." Which fvcking floored me. What grandmother says that about their own grandchild, a five year old? My wife said something that night that absolutely changed the way I think about kids. I'm paraphrasing but it was something along the lines of "None of the kids I teach are bad kids, they just come from bad environments". I seems obvious in retrospect, and that's why I called CPS. All the issues we had regarding Aiden had nothing to do with him being a bad kid. He was a really good kid actually, he was just being raised by wolves. Mom/grandparents couldn't be bothered to take the time to do anything with that poor kid, so it was no wonder that he acted out to get attention, no wonder that he had no idea about what was appropriate and what wasn't, no wonder he was wandering down the middle of the street at 11pm while dressed like batman. Mom moved away and took Aiden with her. While I'm certainly glad to not be dealing with that situation any more, I do find myself wondering about that kid from time to time. He's going to have a tough row to hoe, through no fault of his own.
I do, support this. I ran into Grandma from the story above at the mailbox a couple days ago. She (for FSM only knows what reason
) brought up an incident where Aiden stripped naked in front of my daughter and another little girl on the street. She basically said the girls must have talked him into it. I realize the kids were 5-6 at the time, but it totally felt like precursor to blaming the rape victim. Clearly the girls were "asking for it". I wouldn't mind at all giving that whole adult family a good beat down.
Just found this on teh FB. 4 years old.
"Independent Journal Review" (AKA right wing attack rag, quoting TMZ, so take your daily dose of salt when you read)
"Independent Journal Review" (AKA right wing attack rag, quoting TMZ, so take your daily dose of salt when you read)
As the first (and maybe the only) person to have a Rottweiler certified for use as a service dog for the disabled (not a seeing eye dog), I can attest that positive reinforcement works best 99% of the time (was a requirement for certification, actually). But neither my dog, nor my daughter responded well to "time outs". I'm not saying my dog or my daughter had the same level of "fear of god" as I did growing up, but both required the occasional reminder of the pecking order.
I'm not saying every kid needs to be beaten, but I can point out a number of kids that go to school with my daughter who don't see their parents as an authoritative figure and run the house as spoiled kids will do and had they been raised with a bit more structure this would not be the case.
And the worst hit I ever took from my father was a leather leash he caught me across the backs of my thighs with when I had no idea is was coming. I was wearing shorts, he had just put the dog in the yard and had the leash doubled in his hand. I had been caught skipping catechism (as I often did), made a smart ass comment under my breath and POW!!!
One shot, didn't break the skin, not sure if there was a mark. I was too busy rolling in pain afterwards to even look. Abuse? No, not really. I deserved it and it certainly made me rethink what I said.
One shot, didn't break the skin, not sure if there was a mark. I was too busy rolling in pain afterwards to even look. Abuse? No, not really. I deserved it and it certainly made me rethink what I said.
Vikings Message Board shut down.
Those pictures look bad. If that is what beating a child does, then I haven't ever beaten my child. I've never hit hard enough to even leave a mark, let alone break skin.
Yep, that is a 0 on the 0-255 grayscale.
That picture makes me want to take a switch (or 2x4) to the father.
Violence begets violence, and the cycle continues....
...and people say that we are not animals....I beg to differ.
As a moderately thinking person - my response revolts me to a degree...but yet the first thing I think of when I see that picture is to beat the person responsible...
Sometimes the human condition sucks.
Violence begets violence, and the cycle continues....
...and people say that we are not animals....I beg to differ.
As a moderately thinking person - my response revolts me to a degree...but yet the first thing I think of when I see that picture is to beat the person responsible...
Sometimes the human condition sucks.
More structure means they have to be beaten?
To be clear, I really don't have any issue with spanking a young child or something of that ilk. That's really not about inflicting pain on the kid so much as scaring them a little, and isn't what I'm talking about. Corporal punishment is about inflicting pain.
This is the way our household was growing up.
i believe michael wilbon is in the charles barkley arena of thought that if more kids were whipped there would be less problems...
No, you are right on point. More structure means up to and including a smack on the ass, should the need arise. My dad hit us to inflict some pain for sure, but it didn't leave long term marks that were visible (emotional, maybe). Mine was the "scare them a little" or to get the attention required for the given situation.
And to be fair, I never took my daughter over my knee or make her wait to be punished. It was at the point of offense, otherwise the message is lost. I learned that training my dog.
But I agree, if more kids were raised with a firmer hand, there would be less issues. Some kids you can beat to near death and they will never learn, but some adults are the same way.
Physical punishment just gave me more incentive to work harder at not getting caught.
And it might also explain the ping pong paddle fixation...
And it might also explain the ping pong paddle fixation...