Lotto Winner/Algore Parody
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HAhahahahahahaha! 
Al Gore inspired lottery loser lady to come clean
Jewish World Review Jan. 9, 2004
A personal phone call from Al Gore inspired Elecia Battle to come clean and drop her claim to the $162 million Mega Million jackpot which she previously claimed to have won.
"Mr. Gore called and just told me I should give it up," Mrs. Battle said. "Even though I deserved the $162 million, and in my mind I had really won it, he said 'sometimes life's not fair'. He really spoke from the heart. He felt my pain."
Mr. Gore, an itinerant college professor, said, "My heart ached with empathy when I saw Mrs. Battle's futile effort to get something that never really belonged to her."
"I don't know why I identified with her struggle," said Mr. Gore. "I'm just a sensitive person."
http://www.jewishworldreview.com
Jewish World Review Jan. 9, 2004
A personal phone call from Al Gore inspired Elecia Battle to come clean and drop her claim to the $162 million Mega Million jackpot which she previously claimed to have won.
"Mr. Gore called and just told me I should give it up," Mrs. Battle said. "Even though I deserved the $162 million, and in my mind I had really won it, he said 'sometimes life's not fair'. He really spoke from the heart. He felt my pain."
Mr. Gore, an itinerant college professor, said, "My heart ached with empathy when I saw Mrs. Battle's futile effort to get something that never really belonged to her."
"I don't know why I identified with her struggle," said Mr. Gore. "I'm just a sensitive person."
http://www.jewishworldreview.com
Man Claims: "I Married Britney Spears First Then Lost Her in Chapel Parking Lot!"
Now wants share of the wedding lottery
(LAS VEGAS) Another man has come forward to claim that he actually married Britney Spears first and now wants his share. Brian Brimcal, a 38-year-old unemployed video game designer from Ft. Wayne, Indiana, claims he married the pop star at the famous Little White Wedding Chapel hours before Jason Alexander, but lost her in the parking lot.
Brimcal says he met Spears as the two partied at the famous Palms Casino Hotels Ghostbar late Friday night and early Saturday. After showing her some of his "best moves" on the dance floor, he jokingly suggested the two get married, settle down, and have a 'mess of youngun's' and was stunned when the blonde singer said yes. "We were both pretty drunk, although she had a lot more to drink that night than I did. That girl drinks like Glen Campbell on a farewell tour!" claims Brimcal, "I just sobered up Tuesday and saw on the news some other guy claiming her. That made me angry, which is why I came forward today."
Brimcal says the last thing he remembers, before waking up naked in a dumpster behind Denny's, is dropping Spears as the couple came out of the chapel. "I was carrying her, you know like 'over the threshold' and I stumbled. She's a lot heavier than she looks, you know. Anyway, I thought I still had her, but I guess this other guy . . . Jason Alexander . . . wasn't he on Seinfeld or Friends . . . must of found her and took her back in for a second wedding."
Las Vegas police took Brimcal's stolen bride report and believe his story has some credibility. "In the report he claims that he's always said publicly the only woman he would marry is Britney Spears," said police spokesman Sgt. Steve "Skippy" Henderson, "And he was crying and distraught when he said it, so we just had to believe him."
Asked about a marriage license that would prove his claims, Brimcal claims Spears likely had it when he dropped her and the Las Vegas Wedding Bureau so far has not been able to find their copy. Added the helpful Brimcal, "If they give me five minutes with their computer system, I know I can find it."
"I'm just praying that someone finds the license, brings it forward and gets rewarded - and from there we all live happily ever after," he said. To help prove his claim, Brimcal has hired famous celebrity lawyer, Edward "Shady" Lain, who said his client would seek an injunction to be named Spears' one and only legal husband, arguing that the annulment of the second marriage to Alexander actually works in their favor. "It was technically bigamy, but Brian's willing to overlook Britney's 'little mistake' if she'll just come back to Ft. Wayne and move into his parent's basement with him," insisted Lain, "And then this marriage can be fully consummated the way the good Lord intended."
Now wants share of the wedding lottery
(LAS VEGAS) Another man has come forward to claim that he actually married Britney Spears first and now wants his share. Brian Brimcal, a 38-year-old unemployed video game designer from Ft. Wayne, Indiana, claims he married the pop star at the famous Little White Wedding Chapel hours before Jason Alexander, but lost her in the parking lot.
Brimcal says he met Spears as the two partied at the famous Palms Casino Hotels Ghostbar late Friday night and early Saturday. After showing her some of his "best moves" on the dance floor, he jokingly suggested the two get married, settle down, and have a 'mess of youngun's' and was stunned when the blonde singer said yes. "We were both pretty drunk, although she had a lot more to drink that night than I did. That girl drinks like Glen Campbell on a farewell tour!" claims Brimcal, "I just sobered up Tuesday and saw on the news some other guy claiming her. That made me angry, which is why I came forward today."
Brimcal says the last thing he remembers, before waking up naked in a dumpster behind Denny's, is dropping Spears as the couple came out of the chapel. "I was carrying her, you know like 'over the threshold' and I stumbled. She's a lot heavier than she looks, you know. Anyway, I thought I still had her, but I guess this other guy . . . Jason Alexander . . . wasn't he on Seinfeld or Friends . . . must of found her and took her back in for a second wedding."
Las Vegas police took Brimcal's stolen bride report and believe his story has some credibility. "In the report he claims that he's always said publicly the only woman he would marry is Britney Spears," said police spokesman Sgt. Steve "Skippy" Henderson, "And he was crying and distraught when he said it, so we just had to believe him."
Asked about a marriage license that would prove his claims, Brimcal claims Spears likely had it when he dropped her and the Las Vegas Wedding Bureau so far has not been able to find their copy. Added the helpful Brimcal, "If they give me five minutes with their computer system, I know I can find it."
"I'm just praying that someone finds the license, brings it forward and gets rewarded - and from there we all live happily ever after," he said. To help prove his claim, Brimcal has hired famous celebrity lawyer, Edward "Shady" Lain, who said his client would seek an injunction to be named Spears' one and only legal husband, arguing that the annulment of the second marriage to Alexander actually works in their favor. "It was technically bigamy, but Brian's willing to overlook Britney's 'little mistake' if she'll just come back to Ft. Wayne and move into his parent's basement with him," insisted Lain, "And then this marriage can be fully consummated the way the good Lord intended."