[manimal]

Ok, some of you may remember my thread about my mom being in the hospital and diagnosed with a terminal liver disease. well, we're wanting to move her closer to either me, central NC, or to my brothers area, N. Georgia. we all went down to my bro's place in gainesville, GA for easter and loved it. beautiful town built around a lake in the foothills. it's about the same distance to the NC mountains as where i live. cost of living is cheaper and everyone would be together. my kids had a blast spending time with their cousins and i'd love for them all to grow up together.

-but-

i absolutely love my job here and, after talking with many different agencies, i realized that i've been very spoiled by my department here. outstanding training (we're the only agency in the REGION that uses simunition [paintball-ish] rounds to train with so we're actually shooting real people. makes it MUCH more realistic training), decent pay, take home patrol cars, i get to ride my P2 and just all around good people.
so...i started checking around at the local agencies near my brother's place in GA. at best, i'd have to take a $10k pay cut and $10k for a cop's salary is big deal. on top of that the other agencies in GA don't offer half of the fringe benefits i get here and, of course, i'd be starting over on the bottom as far as seniority goes.
to make matter worse, we're planning to buy a house in july so we kinda have to decide soon 'cause i don't want to buy the house and then decide we're moving to GA.

so my question is this: should i pack up and move, taking my chances that i'll be happy at a differnt police department
-or-
should i stay here and just take more vacations down to to GA to visit family (5 hour drive)?

remember; i get to do this at my current job

 

[PatBranch]

That's a huge dillemma.

You're job situation seems perfect. That would suck to have to start at the bottom after all that. I think you should just drive down every few weekends or so. 5hrs isn't that bad. Just bring bike movies for little manimal to watch on a laptop.

 

[Changleen]

Just be sure to visit your Mom often. She wouldn't want you to destroy your life to see outthe end of hers.

 

[MudGrrl]

 

[binary visions]

Just be sure to visit your Mom often. She wouldn't want you to destroy your life to see outthe end of hers.

Such a good point.

It sounds like you're really happy where you are, and would actually go through some serious financial difficulties if you were to relocate. Your mom would want you to be happy, just visit lots

 

[DRB]

What does your wife think?

 

[manimal]

the wife likes it here, has lots of friends and stuff. my mom may still decide to move here with us but after we talked last weekend we were leaning toward EVENTUALLY moving to GA so we told her to go ahead and plan to move near my bro....but now we're not so sure.

the original plan was that she was going to move from fayetteville (ft. bragg area, 2 hours away) to my city and then, after a few years, when my bro decided if he was going to stay in GA or move back to FL, she would move w/ them since he could afford to take care of her better than i. so maybe it'll all work out and she'll still move closer to us for a while...i'd just hate for her to move twice 'ya know.

 

[MMike]

Yeah moving would be a seriously permanent change to compensate for a situation that is, alas, "temporary"...

Don't move. Your mom has enough to worry about without having to feel guilty about you uprooting your life.....

 

[manimal]

Your mom has enough to worry about without having to feel guilty about you uprooting your life.....

well, it wouldn't really be uprooting my life for her....we did like it down there, it's mainly financial reasons that would make the move rather difficult. the other positive thing about moving would be that my kids could grow up with their cousins....they really had a blast with each other last week.

 

[lux]

With the cost of living less down there, would you feel the $10K cut in pay?

Plug all your numbers in a yearly budget program and see what comes up.

 

[manimal]

With the cost of living less down there, would you feel the $10K cut in pay?

Plug all your numbers in a yearly budget program and see what comes up.

yeah, big difference. the cost of living difference is minimal. we'd be able to buy a slightly larger house on our same budget as my current salary, but with $10k less per year and no take home car means less $$ for a house and more money on gas. i do have a lot of hookups from my brother's colleagues. he's an opthamalogist and his boss is the president of board for the largest bank in town. his neighbor is good friends with the local sheriff and his nurse's husband does the hiring for the local PD. i'd also have good opportunity for side work but the problem is that they work on a sucky 3/2/3 schedule and 12 hour days and 4 months day/4 months night. i love my 4 on/4 off schedule here with 10.5 hour days and rotating between 3 shifts every 3 weeks. i probably mange about an extra $20k per year in off-duty work because i have 4 days off every week to work extra time.

 

[TreeSaw]

Yikes...that is a dilemma. It sounds to me like you might be better off staying where you are and taking more trips to visit your family. 5 hours isn't too bad and once you have a house you can have your family come to visit you as well. Good luck with the decision!

 

[BurlyShirley]

Uh...Im not exactly qualified to advise you here, but starting over sucks. If you're in good where you're at, that's better than money. And to think you could potentially go into a WORSE situation for less money, well, why does that sound like a good idea?

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Don't move. Good luck!

John

 

[jacksonpt]

IMO, stay where you are. a 5hour drive is nothing - take a friday off and drive down for the weekend. You could do it once a month if you have the time off available.

Also, finding a job that you love with a work environment that you love that pays enough to keep food on the table doesn't happen very often. Stick with what you've got.

 

[brungeman]

Just be sure to visit your Mom often. She wouldn't want you to destroy your life to see outthe end of hers.

Yeah Manimal that is a huge dilemma that doesn't have any real good answer.

my opinion would be to stay where you are, the monetary difference between jobs will pay for the travel expenses to visit your mom. The job you have seams to be a dream job with all of the benefits that you have. I am sure your mom will be happier to see you providing for your family, the love and care the way that you do through the current job, than to be by her and possibly regretting the decision to move and change jobs. A 5 hour drive is nothing to sneeze at but at the same time it isn't that bad.

good luck in what ever you decide. I know for myself I wouldn't want to be confronted with the same situation.

 

[splat]

I would say you have to look at it this way, what would you do if your Mom was not sick ?

One of my sisteers Lives near me and my kids love playing with there cousin. but it is inot something I would bas my life around them growing up together. I mean what is to say , you were to move down there and a year later your brother decided he's moving to Montana. What then ?

either way, visit you mom lots !

 

[Greyhound]

Don't leave me, notsoTubbyanymore!!

Nobody else around here understands the true value of the Pic-and-Pay shoe!!!!

 

[DHS]

Just be sure to visit your Mom often. She wouldn't want you to destroy your life to see outthe end of hers.

i agree!!!!

you already made your life. no offense, but just visiting your mom is all she needs. you don't need to baby sit her.

 

[TCP21]

Ok, some of you may remember my thread about my mom being in the hospital and diagnosed with a terminal liver disease. well, we're wanting to move her closer to either me, central NC, or to my brothers area, N. Georgia. we all went down to my bro's place in gainesville, GA for easter and loved it. beautiful town built around a lake in the foothills. it's about the same distance to the NC mountains as where i live. cost of living is cheaper and everyone would be together. my kids had a blast spending time with their cousins and i'd love for them all to grow up together.

-but-

i absolutely love my job here and, after talking with many different agencies, i realized that i've been very spoiled by my department here. outstanding training (we're the only agency in the REGION that uses simunition [paintball-ish] rounds to train with so we're actually shooting real people. makes it MUCH more realistic training), decent pay, take home patrol cars, i get to ride my P2 and just all around good people.
so...i started checking around at the local agencies near my brother's place in GA. at best, i'd have to take a $10k pay cut and $10k for a cop's salary is big deal. on top of that the other agencies in GA don't offer half of the fringe benefits i get here and, of course, i'd be starting over on the bottom as far as seniority goes.
to make matter worse, we're planning to buy a house in july so we kinda have to decide soon 'cause i don't want to buy the house and then decide we're moving to GA.

so my question is this: should i pack up and move, taking my chances that i'll be happy at a differnt police department
-or-
should i stay here and just take more vacations down to to GA to visit family (5 hour drive)?

remember; i get to do this at my current job

i say stay here and visit every 2 weeks or when you get the chance. you have a great life here and( i think) and you have a lot of friends and you are making good money.

 

[Echo]

Of course without being in your shoes it's impossible to say what I'd do, but from what you've said, I wouldn't move... you can visit, 5 hours is not that far.

 

[Nick]

stay put.
I'm sorry about your Mom.

 

[JRB]

Having watched my mom die with cancer, I say move to be near her. I didn't see her for much of my youth, since she lived in St Louis and we weren't very close. When she moved here, I pretty much quit working as much and stayed with her. I can't imagine not having done that.

Whatever you do - good luck.

 

[Da Peach]

Yeah moving would be a seriously permanent change to compensate for a situation that is, alas, "temporary"...

Don't move. Your mom has enough to worry about without having to feel guilty about you uprooting your life.....

Wow, MMike offers some advice. I happen to agree. I don't know what kind of lady your Mom is, but I would guess she'd rather you stay as happy as you have worked to become in your own life. Can't be an easy situation, but I think visits are appropriate given the circumstances.

Sorry to hear about you Mom. Good luck.

 

[OGRipper]

I agree with most of the people here and think you should stay where you are. You deserve a lot of credit for being willing to uproot but it sounds like you are all pretty close to your family already (WAY closer than most families I know), and it also sounds like you have found what lots of people strive for but never reach: You like your job and your community, you are able to own a home (soon), and your family is close enough that you can get together very often, but not so close you never get a break...

 

[sanjuro]

I would also factor in the kids' stability as well. You might want to bite the bullet and do these long drives for the coming years.

It might be unpleasant, but at least you retain your current life.

 

[bizutch]

and nobody's mentioned the obvious thing about "cousins in the country". They're fun to play with because they're new and different than what you know...but cousins in your life all day every day is a LOT of drama and usually the kids find out they don't really like each other that much. The kids probably wouldn't even hang out in the same circles at school, etc.

As for the job, that old saying "Find the thing you love to do and make it your job and you'll be happy" (or something along those lines)...sounds like you'll be have a similar title but the job will not even be near the same(notice I said nothing of the pay)...a quick formula for depression when added to moving to a totally unknown environment. Plus if you lose that company car, won't that cut into your time off to go riding b/c you're gas money for driving to ride will be gone....add the pay cut...and poof.

Oh, as for buying a house...drop me a line. It's what I do for a living. Definitely buy one...even if you do wind up moving away. There are some fringe benefits....

 

[DVNT]

i'm not the one to give any advice on what to do with your life but
i'm surpised so many people are saying to stick with a job over your family.

Work to live, not live to work.

A job is a job.

There are plenty of jobs in the area and if you're not happy with that department find another, possibly look at nearby towns like Cumming, Buford or Athens

again just suggestions,
good luck with whatever you decide.
you have to do what's best for you and your family.

 

[manimal]

yeah, i checked into cumming and athens, they too are $10k below my current salary and not nearly as much to offer in "fringe benny's".

i think we've decided to stay put and my mom is probably going to move closer to us for a while until my brother decides what he wants to do with his practice. he was contemplating a move back to FL so i'd hate for my mom to move near him and then move again to FL. might as well get in some time w/ here near us now if she's eventually going to move to FL w/ my bro.

 

[DVNT]

Well, next time your down this way visiting bring some bikes.
If ya ever need to get out a bit and do some riding, let us know.

There's a jump park in Cumming with some wooden stuff just on the other side of the lake. It's got small, medium and large stuff for lil'manimal too.

 

[mantispf2000]

Regarding visiting-- With your current 4 on/4 off, and a 5 hour drive, it appears that staying and traveling would be better. Sure, you're going to knock yourself silly going back and forth with your decision (take plenty of bike rides), however, starting over, though it may be good in the long term, might very well cause more hiccups than needed. If I may give an example-- parents had a house in Mexico/5 hours from Phoenix. Sold it and bought a larger house that was still under construction. Step-dad spent most every weekend down there finishing the house. Little time for relaxing, as he wanted to finish it. Took about 18-20 months, and now, after having it for about 5 years, they're thinking of selling it for 4x what they bought it for. How does that compare? There's nothing wrong with what you have now. It's only in looking in the long term that moving may (or may not) pay off in huge dividends. Hope this helps.

 

[ridetoofast]

devils advocate:

have you ever thought about another line of work altogether?
i can 'almost' see being a cop as a single guy or even just being married, but being a father, well i think you see where i'm going without me having to finish the sentence...

 

[jet]

Manimal - I mean this in the best way. Don't come here. At least not yet. Get yourself settled and make your Mom proud. When your kids are older, do what you want.

You're a great cop and you have a great future where you are.

The side jobs here (from what I get out of the news) are sketchy at best. We hear about cops being bad every once in a while. I'm gonna guess that the side jobs are security at clubs. Hotties do things to a group of men. When you are around that thing every night, well you know.

Heck, I'd love to have you here in the Atl area to ride together. I just think that at this time, it's not in your best interest.

Best wishes man...

 

[manimal]

devils advocate:

have you ever thought about another line of work altogether?
i can 'almost' see being a cop as a single guy or even just being married, but being a father, well i think you see where i'm going without me having to finish the sentence...

he...wife loves it. helluva lot more family oriented than when i was in the corps. she knows there's not much else that i'd be happy doing. once you've experienced this type of job it makes the cubicle world and its counterparts seem like death.
the only other thing i'd do is open a bike shop...and that doesn't really have a promising future.

i think we've officially decided to stay. we're out house hunting here now and hope to be in a house by late july.

 

[bizutch]

I'm a little e-god...just manipulating my pawns....

 

[luelling]

I have to give you props for even considering the move. I love my mom, but in all honesty I wouldn't give up my cush job here (and the house and other posessions my old lady and I have worked so hard for) to take care of her (shes about 5 hours away as well) I would just visit. My mom has cancer so I know what its like to stare down the very real fact that a family member may die. What I said may sound cold hearted, but.....its realistic. Do what you feel is right, but keep the immediate people in your life in the decision process and don't leave them out.