[JSB]

Good Morning all.

This thread really turned out to be incouraging. Thanks Monkey's.
It's nice to hear that this is normal, and happens to all of us from time to time.
Fathead I never really looked at the sleep thing that way. I've always been the type of person to function no matter how much sleep I got. I once worked for a data processing company, and I operated the mainframes, etc. I usually worked from 6 am to 6 pm, but it like 3 on 3 off type of shifts. I had to work every other weekend too. On the Sunday mornings I have to come in at 3 am. to perform maintenance. I had to get up at 2 to get there by 3. I'd be running 3.5 hours of sleep and have to work until 6 pm. Home by 7pm. I just did it because I had to. My wife needs a ton of sleep or shes miserable. I've never been real sympathetic when it comes to that. Maybe I need to start.

Thanks for all the motivation, incouragement, and shared experiences. Now I can definitely say I'm not the only one, because believe me I was feeling that way.

To add to the sleeping subject...it made me think...and if this is sexiest I apologize in advance. It's just the way I feel sometimes, and maybe it was the way I was brought up, but...I feel like being a guy, I can't fail, or not do what has to be done. Let me explain...when it came to my wife staying home. I wanted her to be able to do that, and she got to but. It was extremely difficult for both of us, due to the standard of living we were use to. Now in that senario, I was willing to take on a part time job in the evenings it I had to. I basically was willing to do what ever it took to put food on the table for my family, and I feel most men are like that. I don't get that feel from the womans point of view. I don't feel they are as willing to go to that limit. They would rather look at other options or something. I don't know if I'm explaining my point well enough, but hopfully you'll get what I'm saying. Is this the consesus, or have I not looked hard enough. I know my mother is the type of woman that would take the shirt off her back for you, but I don't see that as much in my generation of women. They seem more like...well if I give you my shirt what will I have? Maybe it's both male and female in my generation and I happen to be different.
Come on ladies tell me different. Guy?

 

[Brian HCM#1]

For the younger and the ready to get married advice from me......................................DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run, run the other way and NEVER look back!!!!!!!

 

[Fathead]

I basically was willing to do what ever it took to put food on the table for my family, and I feel most men are like that. I don't get that feel from the womans point of view. I don't feel they are as willing to go to that limit. They would rather look at other options or something. I don't know if I'm explaining my point well enough, but hopfully you'll get what I'm saying. Is this the consesus, or have I not looked hard enough. I know my mother is the type of woman that would take the shirt off her back for you, but I don't see that as much in my generation of women. They seem more like...well if I give you my shirt what will I have? Maybe it's both male and female in my generation and I happen to be different.
Come on ladies tell me different. Guy?

You might see more on one side or the other, but I think that trait speaks less to gender than to overall upbringing. For both my wife and me, though to different degrees, if we're sold on a mission we'll do anything to make it work. This trait has helped us through some tough challenges, and will hopefully carry us in the future. However, if I'm not sold on a mission (say, getting portraits for the kids, WTF? Do you know how much HD space is dedicated to their images already?), I am a sorry if not unwilling participant. If I see a lack of effort from my wife on something that matters to me, I question her motivation. If it's not there, we need to revisit the decisions that got us there.

Sometimes I feel like I have more "whatever it takes" in me than my wife does. Then I remember childbirth, and all the sleepless nights (I put in a lot, but she did more) with the infants. I do theorize that hormones helped her through those times, but I know hormones are a part of what drives me too. What she handled over those years (string together the pregnancies and the infancies) was much more than I've ever had to deal with.

 

[Fathead]

For the younger and the ready to get married advice from me......................................DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run, run the other way and NEVER look back!!!!!!!

I have an uncle who was walking down the street in Vegas (a little tipsy, I'm sure) and saw a bride & groom walking toward a McChapel. My uncle (think 6'4, 220) yelled in twangy North Texas barritone:

"Don't do it!!!"

I wonder if they did it?

 

[JRB]

Good Morning all.

This thread really turned out to be incouraging. Thanks Monkey's.
It's nice to hear that this is normal, and happens to all of us from time to time.
Fathead I never really looked at the sleep thing that way. I've always been the type of person to function no matter how much sleep I got. I once worked for a data processing company, and I operated the mainframes, etc. I usually worked from 6 am to 6 pm, but it like 3 on 3 off type of shifts. I had to work every other weekend too. On the Sunday mornings I have to come in at 3 am. to perform maintenance.

Glad it helped. I hope it continues to. I worked as an operator for McLane Co for 2 years. I worked 7 -7 in the day and was supposed to be 3 on 4 off and then vice versa, but it never was. That job was a strain on us, because I was miserable. I liked the job, but hated my supervisor and a couple of co workers. We were also help desk for 6,000 plus users and convenience store clerks that couldn't place their orders if the divisions were gone. I worked holidays and didn't see Julie much. Things are better since I am gone from there. Where did you work???

 

[JSB]

Glad it helped. I hope it continues to. I worked as an operator for McLane Co for 2 years. I worked 7 -7 in the day and was supposed to be 3 on 4 off and then vice versa, but it never was. That job was a strain on us, because I was miserable. I liked the job, but hated my supervisor and a couple of co workers. We were also help desk for 6,000 plus users and convenience store clerks that couldn't place their orders if the divisions were gone. I worked holidays and didn't see Julie much. Things are better since I am gone from there. Where did you work???

A little company called Electronic Data Systems. Our shifts were a little different, but they changed them all the time. First it was 2 on 2 off 3 on, then flip flopped the next 7 days to 2 off 2 on 3 off. So basically mon tues on wed thurs off fri sat sun on then flip. Then it changed to sun mon tues and every other wed. The other shift was thurs fri sat and every other wed. Then we rotated every three months from nights to days. I was a team lead, and the opposite team lead was a night owl, so we would switch teams so he could keep nights. I was completely fine with that. I sort of miss it though. It was fun running all that stuff. We had one idiot one time putch an entire BOX. Brought down 4 different LPARS. 4 Different clients, one being a GM plant. Shat hit the fan that night. Of course they were up and running with in 15-20 minutes, but still they were screaming. Fun stuff.

 

[N8 v2.0]

Good thread.

Miz N8 :heart: and I just had our 1st Anniversary yesterday. Yep.. one year of marital bliss.

Both of us were married before for 17+ years to people we just didn't like nor understand. Both of us were married by the time we were 22 and now with the gift of hindsight, we can both see that our first marriages were headed for the crapper.

Now however, we both know what we like and what we don't in a relationship and we can talk about it to each other. We dated for a couple years before we got married which was really great. I recommend a long extended dating process before anyone gets married. We lived together for a while too.

She and I are perfect for each other and we have that "only in the movies' kinda love going on and I never knew what happiness was all about before. I hate it when I think of all the years I merely 'existed' when I was married to my ex-wife... all the countless times I sat in my truck in the driveway after work dreading to go in. The only good thing to come out of all those wasted years was my awesome daughter.

Well, all that is behind me now, and I can enjoy my life, my wife and my daughter as much as any man can.

Too all you sticking it out in dicked-up, screwed-up, marriages I will tell you from experience... it absolutely does not get any better.

I can only hope that each and everyone of you at sometime in your life is as happy as I am with my wife. :love: :love: :love:

-N8

 

[dh girlie]

For the younger and the ready to get married advice from me......................................DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run, run the other way and NEVER look back!!!!!!!

Now why would you say that? Julie is a lovely girl... You're lucky a tool like yourself got such a great wife...

 

[dh girlie]

Well......since I'm in the "Batter's Box" right now, I'll add in my perspective:

Mrs. soon-to-be Greyhound is one more awesome lady. She and I get along so incredibly well. We've been together a little over 5 years, and I swear to you, it seems like 5 months. I don't know where the time has gone. I've a taken a little time over the past few weeks to sit back, and take stock of where I am, and evaluate how I feel about this next step. I'm just about to turn 32, and it's apparent to me through subtle little hints in day-to-day life that it's time for things to happen on my end. I get all sappy and stupid around kids, Hallmark commercials mist me up, I get a little anxiety when when I see my friends who have kids, and how fast they've grown up.......it's just a little of all that, I guess. Not being the type of guy that mulls over such issues, I'm really quite taken aback over how much adulthood has bitch-slapped me here lately, but I guess that's how it happens. Many of my friends have already had kids......and those kids are growing up fast. I want to be a part of all that stuff. I still feel like I'm 22, and it's really freaky to think about the future, but the future is right now....and if I don't recognize it, it will pass me by before I know it. So here I am, with a ring on the way, and happiness in my heart. Maybe ten years down the road, I'll be singing a different song.......bad things happen to good people all the time, I know. But, hell...it's worth a shot.

That's nice...good luck to you...

 

[JRB]

Now why would you say that? Julie is a lovely girl... You're lucky a tool like yourself got such a great wife...

He's lucky a tool like himself got a wife, period.

 

[dh girlie]

He's lucky a tool like himself got a wife, period.

True...true...

 

[JRB]

It was fun running all that stuff. We had one idiot one time putch an entire BOX. Brought down 4 different LPARS. 4 Different clients, one being a GM plant. Shat hit the fan that night. Of course they were up and running with in 15-20 minutes, but still they were screaming. Fun stuff.

We ran our own MF, but it was for a company with a budget of 29 billion dollars in FY04. We actually IPL'd twice during the day due to someone getting stupid and not watching 2 programs that were dumping. Filled the dumps and down we went. It sure was fun figuring out were the 217 jobs that failed were so they could be chopped up and restarted. The second time it was only around 125 jobs. It was a fairly stressful couple of hours for someone that made $12 an hour.

 

[Brian HCM#1]

Now why would you say that? Julie is a lovely girl... You're lucky a tool like yourself got such a great wife...

I'm just mess around, I love Julie more than anything :love:

 

[JSB]

Yep those were the days. It was hard to keep talent in those areas. They kept me around for quite a while. But it was hard to leave with the 5k raises I was getting each year. I pulling in 49k base not counting OT or Holiday pay. I finally through the towel in after they started to revamp the schedules again. Went to a support group.

 

[JRB]

I'm just mess around, I love Julie more than anything :love:

More than learning English for sure.

 

[Brian HCM#1]

More than learning English for sure.

true

 

[SkaredShtles]

Good Morning all.

<snip> It was extremely difficult for both of us, due to the standard of living we were use to.

This is a massive trap to get caught in - throw your notion of your "usual standard of living" out the window if you can't afford it. Shop at second-hand stores, buy cheap cars, never buy a new bike unless it's broken, don't eat out, etc.

No cruises.

My wife and I planned on her staying home, and to prepare we lived on one salary for over a year and saved the other one. We made sure that we could comfortably live on just one. It's worked out.

Of course, I haven't bought a new bike in 12 years.

-S.S.-

 

[McGRP01]

I've been married 7+ years and with my wife for over 12. I love her with all I got and couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. That being said, if we ever did seperate, I would have no desire entering into another long-term relationship.

If I was single, I would remain single. Freedom baby....freedom.