Okay, so the belt's getting a little tight again. It's time to start counting "points" and head down to Safeway to pick up some weight conscious frozen entrees.
I stand in the frozen food aisle contemplating all wonderful choices. Plump slabs of chicken and beef nestled in thick pasta with rich, colorful vegetables. Enchiladas drenched in cheese and sour cream with fluffy rice. This is where I always get sucked in. What looks good in the picture on the package almost never bears any resemblance to what is lurking beneath the frosted film in the little plastic tray inside.
But suddenly, my mood brightens in the grip of an acid flashback or senior moment (I can't differentiate anymore). I manage an optimistic view stemming from the tantilizing pictures on the packages, select a few of the frozen treasures and head to the checkout before the thaw.
Today's selection at work consisted of
.
Umm, looks good doesn't it? Thick chicken breasts in a mountain of pasta. The website even featured the following review of the product. "This is my absolute favorite! I like almost all of the frozen entrees, but this is...Lisa R. Oviedo, Florida" But this is... what Lisa? After sampling this culinary abomination I think you may well have some issues here ma'am. And possibly a taste for sh*t. I can only hope they didn't comp you a freezer full of this crap for that endorsement.
Let me say it is probably safe to assume that no chickens were harmed in the making of this meal. I have personally lost more meat to a paper cut. I initially thought there was only one chicken slice(?) but after stirring around I found the other hiding in an eighth of an inch deep gelatinous mass with green specs (basil cream sauce). I've had band-aids that were thicker than these chicken particles and they were pretty much the same color too.
My line of work seldom affords one to eat a whole meal in one sitting. I have found that with these entrees the longer they sit, the more "true" flavor seeps through. It's one thing to eat it at 190 degrees when the flesh is seared from the roof of your mouth and taste buds are cauterized, but after it cools for a period of time and the molecular structure changes... I shudder to even think or can begin to describe. I feel like I have stumbled into a "Steve, Don't Eat It!" episode from The Sneeze.
So this was my horrid lunch, it went quite well with my horrid day at work. Just as the Fixx lyrics say "One thing leads to another". But hey! Hold on a minute! What's this in the freezer? Ummm... portabello with beef tips in a rich burgundy sauce. Wooooaaaa- and look at the package with all the colors. ALL THE PRETTY COLORS! This looks great! Oh man- I can hardly wait until lunch tomorrow.
I stand in the frozen food aisle contemplating all wonderful choices. Plump slabs of chicken and beef nestled in thick pasta with rich, colorful vegetables. Enchiladas drenched in cheese and sour cream with fluffy rice. This is where I always get sucked in. What looks good in the picture on the package almost never bears any resemblance to what is lurking beneath the frosted film in the little plastic tray inside.
But suddenly, my mood brightens in the grip of an acid flashback or senior moment (I can't differentiate anymore). I manage an optimistic view stemming from the tantilizing pictures on the packages, select a few of the frozen treasures and head to the checkout before the thaw.
Today's selection at work consisted of
Umm, looks good doesn't it? Thick chicken breasts in a mountain of pasta. The website even featured the following review of the product. "This is my absolute favorite! I like almost all of the frozen entrees, but this is...Lisa R. Oviedo, Florida" But this is... what Lisa? After sampling this culinary abomination I think you may well have some issues here ma'am. And possibly a taste for sh*t. I can only hope they didn't comp you a freezer full of this crap for that endorsement.
Let me say it is probably safe to assume that no chickens were harmed in the making of this meal. I have personally lost more meat to a paper cut. I initially thought there was only one chicken slice(?) but after stirring around I found the other hiding in an eighth of an inch deep gelatinous mass with green specs (basil cream sauce). I've had band-aids that were thicker than these chicken particles and they were pretty much the same color too.
My line of work seldom affords one to eat a whole meal in one sitting. I have found that with these entrees the longer they sit, the more "true" flavor seeps through. It's one thing to eat it at 190 degrees when the flesh is seared from the roof of your mouth and taste buds are cauterized, but after it cools for a period of time and the molecular structure changes... I shudder to even think or can begin to describe. I feel like I have stumbled into a "Steve, Don't Eat It!" episode from The Sneeze.
So this was my horrid lunch, it went quite well with my horrid day at work. Just as the Fixx lyrics say "One thing leads to another". But hey! Hold on a minute! What's this in the freezer? Ummm... portabello with beef tips in a rich burgundy sauce. Wooooaaaa- and look at the package with all the colors. ALL THE PRETTY COLORS! This looks great! Oh man- I can hardly wait until lunch tomorrow.
