> VATICAN CITY -- Church officials and faithful Catholics worldwide were
> shocked today when His Holiness Pope John Paul II, whose health was
> believed to be seriously declining in recent days, leapt from his
> chair in the middle of the traditional couple-o-days-after-Easter mass
> and yelled "Prilaaay Oolsfay!", latin for 'April Fools', at the
> stunned congregation.
>
> While some in attendance believed that this was the result of a
> miraculous healing from God, it was quickly revealed that it was, in
> fact, the culmination of perhaps the greatest April Fools phrank in
> history. The Pope was quoted as yelling the latin phrash, "Otchagay,
> itchesbay!" before jogging out of the Church, hopping into his
> specially-built convertible Popemobile and speeding off to enjoy a
> holiday of skiing and mountain climbing at a resort in the Alps.
>
> "His Holiness decided back in the mid '80s that he was going to make
> his mark on the Papacy and be remembered," remarked Cardinal Giovanni
> Battista Re, a confidant and fellow practical joker. "Essentially, he
> was bored with having to sit around blessing shi.. er, stuff all day
> long. So he concieved what I'm sure will always be remembered as the
> greatest 'Gotcha' moment of all time."
>
> "Frankly, I'm amazed people didn't see through it with the timing on
> the whole 'feeding tube' thing. I told him he was pushing it, but he
> just looked at me, smiled that host-eating grin of his and said
> 'Hosetay uckersay illway elievebay nythinga-ay'. And all ya'll bought
> it. Brilliant.".
>
> Following this revelation, the Holy See released a new schedule in
> which the pontiff made clear his intention to return to the
> competative kickboxing circuit to try and reclaim his title.
> Meanwhile, millions of Christians around the world held mass to
> celebrate the return of the Pope.
>
> "He really had us going," said Cardinal Wilfrid Napier of South
> Africa, whose name had been mentioned as a potential candidate for the
> papacy. "Yup, none of us saw that coming. This is, er, great news.
> Yeah. Fantastic."
>
> Standing atop a mountain at an exclusive ski resort, the Successor of
> Saint Mark the Apostle, Shepherd of Shepherds, Father of Fathers,
> Supreme Pontiff of All Metropolitans and Bishops, Judge of the World,
> and Beloved of Christ smiled for reporters. "M-iay ohnjay aulpay
> wotay, itchbay!" said the Pope, then kicked down the run whooping at
> the top of his lungs.
> shocked today when His Holiness Pope John Paul II, whose health was
> believed to be seriously declining in recent days, leapt from his
> chair in the middle of the traditional couple-o-days-after-Easter mass
> and yelled "Prilaaay Oolsfay!", latin for 'April Fools', at the
> stunned congregation.
>
> While some in attendance believed that this was the result of a
> miraculous healing from God, it was quickly revealed that it was, in
> fact, the culmination of perhaps the greatest April Fools phrank in
> history. The Pope was quoted as yelling the latin phrash, "Otchagay,
> itchesbay!" before jogging out of the Church, hopping into his
> specially-built convertible Popemobile and speeding off to enjoy a
> holiday of skiing and mountain climbing at a resort in the Alps.
>
> "His Holiness decided back in the mid '80s that he was going to make
> his mark on the Papacy and be remembered," remarked Cardinal Giovanni
> Battista Re, a confidant and fellow practical joker. "Essentially, he
> was bored with having to sit around blessing shi.. er, stuff all day
> long. So he concieved what I'm sure will always be remembered as the
> greatest 'Gotcha' moment of all time."
>
> "Frankly, I'm amazed people didn't see through it with the timing on
> the whole 'feeding tube' thing. I told him he was pushing it, but he
> just looked at me, smiled that host-eating grin of his and said
> 'Hosetay uckersay illway elievebay nythinga-ay'. And all ya'll bought
> it. Brilliant.".
>
> Following this revelation, the Holy See released a new schedule in
> which the pontiff made clear his intention to return to the
> competative kickboxing circuit to try and reclaim his title.
> Meanwhile, millions of Christians around the world held mass to
> celebrate the return of the Pope.
>
> "He really had us going," said Cardinal Wilfrid Napier of South
> Africa, whose name had been mentioned as a potential candidate for the
> papacy. "Yup, none of us saw that coming. This is, er, great news.
> Yeah. Fantastic."
>
> Standing atop a mountain at an exclusive ski resort, the Successor of
> Saint Mark the Apostle, Shepherd of Shepherds, Father of Fathers,
> Supreme Pontiff of All Metropolitans and Bishops, Judge of the World,
> and Beloved of Christ smiled for reporters. "M-iay ohnjay aulpay
> wotay, itchbay!" said the Pope, then kicked down the run whooping at
> the top of his lungs.
