“Current information suggests that al-Qaeda and affiliated organizations continue to plan terrorist attacks,” the State Department said in a statement.
Thank you, Dept. of the Obvious. We kinda knew that already, what with two wars ongoing, terror plots defused around the world and the U.S. terror level parked at yellow (orange if you’re flying).
Priceless.
Sleep tight, don’t let the terrorists bite
By Lauren Beckham Falcone
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
When it comes to terror alerts, I prefer the direct approach.
“Duck!” or “Run!” or “Don’t go out there!”
Simple yet succinct.
The opposite of the latest free-floating anxiety travel alert from the State Department, urging Americans heading to Europe to use extra caution.
“Current information suggests that al-Qaeda and affiliated organizations continue to plan terrorist attacks,” the State Department said in a statement.
Thank you, Dept. of the Obvious. We kinda knew that already, what with two wars ongoing, terror plots defused around the world and the U.S. terror level parked at yellow (orange if you’re flying).
Thanks for the new heads up guys, though I think the pat-downs and body scans at airport security remind us that it’s probably safer to visit Europe via the Travel Channel.
Thanks to years of warnings and alerts and scared-is-the-new-normal, I can’t look at a backpack on the T without hyperventilating. If I have to fly, I need enough pharmaceuticals to tranquilize a camel.
So I already had a trip to Europe on the “not anytime soon” list, just like the State Dept. wants.
At least, I think it does.
“We are not saying don’t travel to Europe. . . . We’re not saying don’t visit major tourist attractions or historic sites or monuments,” Patrick Kennedy, undersecretary of state, told reporters on a conference call this weekend.
So, what are you saying?
Even terrorism expert Con Coughlin seemed confused, telling the “Today” show yesterday, “It’s impossible to prevent these attacks if you’ve got these low-intensity terror cells that just want to pick up a gun and start shooting people” before switching gears.
“We can’t let the terrorists dictate our lives, and people need to get on with their plans and just be a lot more vigilant.”
You know, a state of relaxed alertness.
The State Department reminds me of a sadistic babysitter, who, just before shutting the light off, tells us kids that there’s probably nothing under the bed. But we should check, just in case. Because while there isn’t a boogeyman under there, if there were, we’d be toast.
So sweet dreams and keep your arms and legs under the covers so tentacles can’t grab ’em. Click.
And once again, we’re left in the dark, terrified.
Thank you, Dept. of the Obvious. We kinda knew that already, what with two wars ongoing, terror plots defused around the world and the U.S. terror level parked at yellow (orange if you’re flying).
Priceless.
Sleep tight, don’t let the terrorists bite
By Lauren Beckham Falcone
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
When it comes to terror alerts, I prefer the direct approach.
“Duck!” or “Run!” or “Don’t go out there!”
Simple yet succinct.
The opposite of the latest free-floating anxiety travel alert from the State Department, urging Americans heading to Europe to use extra caution.
“Current information suggests that al-Qaeda and affiliated organizations continue to plan terrorist attacks,” the State Department said in a statement.
Thank you, Dept. of the Obvious. We kinda knew that already, what with two wars ongoing, terror plots defused around the world and the U.S. terror level parked at yellow (orange if you’re flying).
Thanks for the new heads up guys, though I think the pat-downs and body scans at airport security remind us that it’s probably safer to visit Europe via the Travel Channel.
Thanks to years of warnings and alerts and scared-is-the-new-normal, I can’t look at a backpack on the T without hyperventilating. If I have to fly, I need enough pharmaceuticals to tranquilize a camel.
So I already had a trip to Europe on the “not anytime soon” list, just like the State Dept. wants.
At least, I think it does.
“We are not saying don’t travel to Europe. . . . We’re not saying don’t visit major tourist attractions or historic sites or monuments,” Patrick Kennedy, undersecretary of state, told reporters on a conference call this weekend.
So, what are you saying?
Even terrorism expert Con Coughlin seemed confused, telling the “Today” show yesterday, “It’s impossible to prevent these attacks if you’ve got these low-intensity terror cells that just want to pick up a gun and start shooting people” before switching gears.
“We can’t let the terrorists dictate our lives, and people need to get on with their plans and just be a lot more vigilant.”
You know, a state of relaxed alertness.
The State Department reminds me of a sadistic babysitter, who, just before shutting the light off, tells us kids that there’s probably nothing under the bed. But we should check, just in case. Because while there isn’t a boogeyman under there, if there were, we’d be toast.
So sweet dreams and keep your arms and legs under the covers so tentacles can’t grab ’em. Click.
And once again, we’re left in the dark, terrified.
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