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Mormons...

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
Been stuck at work all week here at the house. So it seemed, as I am doing 20 hour days, that it'd be wise to watch all the season of Big Love...

Here's my question: are all of the broads in the LDS faith really that subservient?

And tell me about sister wives. Yes, I get it that the FLDS is an off-shoot of the middle of the road LDS, but how do I swing four or five wives so I can never let my peen get a break ala Bill Hicks?

Hugs and kisses, yours truly,
Dirt McGirk
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
28,605
4,422
Riding the baggage carousel.
Here's my question: are all of the broads in the LDS faith really that subservient?
Yes. If you're a Mo and a woman you need a husband and his "permission" to get a place on the husbands planet in heaven.

And tell me about sister wives. Yes, I get it that the FLDS is an off-shoot of the middle of the road LDS, but how do I swing four or five wives so I can never let my peen get a break ala Bill Hicks?

Hugs and kisses, yours truly,
Dirt McGirk
More accurately, the modern day LDS church is an offshoot of the FLDS. Remember, unlike other religions, the Saints religion is only 200-ish years old, so one doesn't get to make the argument, like other religions, that things have been lost in time/oral history/cultural relevance/etc. Mormonism is post printing press. Joesph Smith and Brigham Young both believed that plural marriage was sacred duty and the church only gave it up when the feds threatened to invade the Utah territory. "Modern" Mormonism is nothing if not politically expedient, and the FLDS is just sticking to it's doctrinal guns. So you're gonna have to go full retard if your dick is really that important to you, plus you'll have to give the Saints a minimum 10% pretax income. That sh*t is serious to the church.

I wouldn't worry about it though, the Mo's aren't going to accept somebody with your lifestyle anyway. You're way to polluted to get into the Temple.


*edit: Though I suppose you might make a wonderful modern day Porter Rockwell
 
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Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,876
3,700
Sleazattle
i only knew one mormon.

and he was black.

true story.
Mormons due recruit heavily in non lilly-white countries. Pacific Islands specifically, but that could just be to help the BYU football team.

They also recruit aggressively here at the university. There is always a squad of them standing in the main square and you pretty much have to be a dick to them to get them to leave you alone. That said, they do not bother me much anymore.

Last year there was a book of mormon that sat at a single desk in the engineering library. There was always a whit shirt and tie mormon sitting near by. I figured it was a trap. I wanted to make a sign and hang it on the desk that read 'fiction rack'.
 
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ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,364
159
Lima, Peru, Peru
my uncle married a mormon woman.

bat-**** cat-lady-like crazy is best definition that comes to my mind.
after like 2 years of hobo-crazy behaviour, she has been shunned by the rest of the family and does not attend/is not invited to family meetings/weddings/birthdays/anything.

at some point, its fairly difficult to distinguish between psychosis and religious fanatism.
 
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DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
Two bottles of wine + Big Love + RM = a great outlet for my bad ideas.

I think I ordered a surfboard last night too.
 

4130biker

PM me about Tantrum Cycles!
May 24, 2007
3,904
442
Lizard Town
I keep envisioning Dirt with three or four of these:



Reality television GOLD, I tell ya!
 
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snake666

Chimp
Aug 12, 2012
79
0
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention mormons.
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
10,205
211
chez moi
I wouldn't worry about it though, the Mo's aren't going to accept somebody with your lifestyle anyway. You're way to polluted to get into the Temple.
Some fundie Mormons have some pretty wacky stuff going on re: drugs, money, and sex.

"Under the Banner of Heaven" by Krakauer is the must-read here, Dirt.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
Some fundie Mormons have some pretty wacky stuff going on re: drugs, money, and sex.

"Under the Banner of Heaven" by Krakauer is the must-read here, Dirt.

Oh I've read it. Blonde atonement and baby decapitation. Sounds like a fun Sunday after temple!
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
10,205
211
chez moi
Oh I've read it. Blonde atonement and baby decapitation. Sounds like a fun Sunday after temple!
So why you still messing with Big Love? Get yourself a revelation, a trailer and a meth lab on the Arizona strip and settle down with the wives (meaning any chick who'll engage in the drug-fueled orgy).
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
So why you still messing with Big Love? Get yourself a revelation, a trailer and a meth lab on the Arizona strip and settle down with the wives (meaning any chick who'll engage in the drug-fueled orgy).
I can barely use power tools, I have no business getting into the meth business. You'd hear about a large man blown to bits by his trailer meth lab because he tried to drill out the bottom bracket on his crank powered meth lab. And honestly I am paranoid enough.