Friday is usually "Read Best-of-Craigslist Day" in these parts...
Attn: Mtn bike commuters on the CalTraind
Reply to: anon-39922616@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Aug 20 00:46:58 2004
Dear CalTrain mtn bike riders,
Let me start out by saying that I know this is a free country (supposedly), and we all have the right to ride whatever the hell kind of bike we want, but do you ****tards understand that more tire = more resistance = more work done by you to get where you're going? It's very simple, more tire, more work. Furthermore, that big tubed, SUV of a bike you ride weighs about three times as much as a road bike. Couple that with the bigger tires and it's no wonder you piggies are already huffing and puffing by the time I pull effortlessly away from you 30 feet from the station. It's just not the most efficient bike for a commute. Now, if your commute entails some off-roading, maybe a few boulders, or streams to cross, then I understand the mtn bike choice. The fact of the matter is, though, that 99% of you ride those things a few miles, on the road, to your destination. You aren't jumping rocks or treestumps or whatever those mtn bike designers had in mind when they built that thing as solid as a freakin tank, you're riding on the road. *hint hint* There is a thing called a road bike...
But I digress. What is really bothering me about you CalTrain mtn bikers (not all of you though, some of you are hella cool) is your complete lack of respect for anyone else's bike on the train. Sure, you have a 40lb bike that can jump off of a 50 foot drop (not that you've ever tested that particular feature), but guess what, some people actaully ride nice bikes that weren't designed to withstand a 20 megaton blast, and you know what else? We ride the train too.
So please, CalTrain mtn bike riders (again, not all of you suck), next time you get on the train and go to put your bike on the rack, here are a few suggestions (in case you aren't actually a completely self-centered assclown):
1 - Put your coffee, or frappucino, or yerba matte, or whatever the hell you're drinking, down before attempting to rack your bike.
2 - Read the yellow tags and find a bike that is going farther than yours before just sticking your thing on the first rack you come across.
3 - For the love of God/Allah/Buddha/Money or who/whatever it is you choose to worship, don't just slam your bike into the poor bike that is going to be it's neighbor until you reach your stop. Yes, I know, they are metal (exceot the carbon bikes), but even the metal ones have paint, and even if your bike is chrome or stainless, then at least have the decency not to mess up other people's paintjobs.
4 - This one has nothing to do with bikes or bike racks, but some unscrupulous bastard has been farting non-stop on the CalTrain for the past few days, please stop eating so many beans. If you have already tried the change of diet thing and it's not working then please seek medical attention, or at least try to let your farts out before you get in a crowded car with 30 other people. That **** smells and it's making me ****ing sick.
Thank you, drive through....
this is in or around The CalTrain
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Attn: Mtn bike commuters on the CalTraind
Reply to: anon-39922616@craigslist.org
Date: Fri Aug 20 00:46:58 2004
Dear CalTrain mtn bike riders,
Let me start out by saying that I know this is a free country (supposedly), and we all have the right to ride whatever the hell kind of bike we want, but do you ****tards understand that more tire = more resistance = more work done by you to get where you're going? It's very simple, more tire, more work. Furthermore, that big tubed, SUV of a bike you ride weighs about three times as much as a road bike. Couple that with the bigger tires and it's no wonder you piggies are already huffing and puffing by the time I pull effortlessly away from you 30 feet from the station. It's just not the most efficient bike for a commute. Now, if your commute entails some off-roading, maybe a few boulders, or streams to cross, then I understand the mtn bike choice. The fact of the matter is, though, that 99% of you ride those things a few miles, on the road, to your destination. You aren't jumping rocks or treestumps or whatever those mtn bike designers had in mind when they built that thing as solid as a freakin tank, you're riding on the road. *hint hint* There is a thing called a road bike...
But I digress. What is really bothering me about you CalTrain mtn bikers (not all of you though, some of you are hella cool) is your complete lack of respect for anyone else's bike on the train. Sure, you have a 40lb bike that can jump off of a 50 foot drop (not that you've ever tested that particular feature), but guess what, some people actaully ride nice bikes that weren't designed to withstand a 20 megaton blast, and you know what else? We ride the train too.
So please, CalTrain mtn bike riders (again, not all of you suck), next time you get on the train and go to put your bike on the rack, here are a few suggestions (in case you aren't actually a completely self-centered assclown):
1 - Put your coffee, or frappucino, or yerba matte, or whatever the hell you're drinking, down before attempting to rack your bike.
2 - Read the yellow tags and find a bike that is going farther than yours before just sticking your thing on the first rack you come across.
3 - For the love of God/Allah/Buddha/Money or who/whatever it is you choose to worship, don't just slam your bike into the poor bike that is going to be it's neighbor until you reach your stop. Yes, I know, they are metal (exceot the carbon bikes), but even the metal ones have paint, and even if your bike is chrome or stainless, then at least have the decency not to mess up other people's paintjobs.
4 - This one has nothing to do with bikes or bike racks, but some unscrupulous bastard has been farting non-stop on the CalTrain for the past few days, please stop eating so many beans. If you have already tried the change of diet thing and it's not working then please seek medical attention, or at least try to let your farts out before you get in a crowded car with 30 other people. That **** smells and it's making me ****ing sick.
Thank you, drive through....
this is in or around The CalTrain
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
