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My Car is Cursed

Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
12,692
2,122
North Van
Goddammit.

My car is cursed. It was the first new car I ever got. I loved it. But things just haven't gone well for the old gal. She's been plagued by incident after incident:

1. My dad backed it out of the garage with the hatch open. Scratched the hatch to the metal with the garage door opener.

2. Dad again. While moving the car out of the driveway, backed it into a concrete planter box. Gouged rear bumper and dented rear fender

3. Got stolen while I was Christmas shopping. It was recovered 3 days later with minor damage. Who knows what was done to the clutch...

4. Somebody stepped on the hood (or something) and put a grapefruit-sized dent in it.

5. Got broken into the first week or so I moved to Vancouver. The thief used the "dent the door above the handle" trick which was so popular on this model a while ago...

6. Fixie-pixie idiot considered a my right turn an offense to his no-brakes riding trajectory. Kicked in my rear tail light cracking the lens.

7. While picking my beautiful wife up from work, I attempted (foolishly) to put her bike on the roof rack with my freshly broken hand. I lost my balance and fell into the passenger side door, caving it in. It popped back out, but it left a nice kink. It had just been re-painted...

8. My beautiful wife clipped a column in a parking garage with the rear driver side.

9. Yesterday, the mechanical sub on the jobsite I'm on backed into my driver door.

Unreal. 8 year-old car, 9 incidents. I was involved in 2 of them. Only one of which involved any driving. I maintain that that one wasn't my fault... flame on, no brake retards...

photo.JPG
 

canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
10,168
6,185
Canaderp
Does yours have any rust?

I will gladly trade you straight up for my Mazda 3, that has at least 2 less dents than yours.
 

skyst3alth

Monkey
Apr 13, 2004
866
0
Denver, CO
My car has never been in the shop (knock on wood). Replaced the rear shocks myself after some jumping incidents, other than that it's routine maintenance. 109k on the clock

 

Jeremy R

<b>x</b>
Nov 15, 2001
9,509
526
behind you with a snap pop
Goddammit.

My car is cursed. It was the first new car I ever got. I loved it. But things just haven't gone well for the old gal. She's been plagued by incident after incident:

1. My dad backed it out of the garage with the hatch open. Scratched the hatch to the metal with the garage door opener.

2. Dad again. While moving the car out of the driveway, backed it into a concrete planter box. Gouged rear bumper and dented rear fender
It is all starting to make a little more sense now......

 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
1
Oz
Wait, you're related to MMike?

This is god's plan for you.
 

SkaredShtles

I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!
Sep 21, 2003
49,270
3,211
In a van.... down by the river
I'd suggest something pre-damaged when looking for a replacement.
This is actually brilliant advice. Not only do you get the thing pre-damaged, but the seller generally *discounts* the price of the car for damage. This is how we bought our van - low miles but a dented plastic bumper, some minor dings along the sides... and *boom* - instant $10-15K off the price of a new, undamaged van.

Not only that, but it was shortly thereafter christened "The Battle Van" because of its character...
 

jasride

Turbo Monkey
Sep 23, 2006
1,069
4
PA
Why not add a few more back racks for protection. Side mount door mounting racks and why not a hood rack? That should help with a few fender benders. Well the fixie pixie still managed to kick in your tail light, but was the rack up or down for that one?
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
16,247
3,496
Nowhere Man!
That's the thing about smoking to much pot. You tend to put off things until all hell breaks loose. Then you feel the need to post about it in a bike forum. I wouldn't normally do this but I going to advocate you smoke more pot. Maybe even try something a little stronger.
 

Toshi

Harbinger of Doom
Oct 23, 2001
27,579
2,216
Let this be known: White people--especially Canadians, who are extra white indeed--are worse drivers than Asians. Thank you.
 

Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
12,692
2,122
North Van
I wasn't EVEN IN THE CAR!

Except for the hipster incident. I should have just run him down... Fixies are so retarded....
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
31,457
36
Bay Area, California
Of course it's cursed, you are a male driving a Subaru. Haven't you ever heard of the curse of the angry lesbian? Sell the car while you still have your manhood!
 

Toshi

Harbinger of Doom
Oct 23, 2001
27,579
2,216
Of course it's cursed, you are a male driving a Subaru. Haven't you ever heard of the curse of the angry lesbian? Sell the car while you still have your manhood!
Uh, that looks like a Mazda3 to me, Brian.
 

canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
10,168
6,185
Canaderp
Let this be known: White people--especially Canadians, who are extra white indeed--are worse drivers than Asians. Thank you.
Living where I do (in China 2.0 (near Markham, Ontario)), I could argue against that all day long hahah