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My Car is Cursed

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Da Peach, Aug 30, 2012.

  1. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    Goddammit.

    My car is cursed. It was the first new car I ever got. I loved it. But things just haven't gone well for the old gal. She's been plagued by incident after incident:

    1. My dad backed it out of the garage with the hatch open. Scratched the hatch to the metal with the garage door opener.

    2. Dad again. While moving the car out of the driveway, backed it into a concrete planter box. Gouged rear bumper and dented rear fender

    3. Got stolen while I was Christmas shopping. It was recovered 3 days later with minor damage. Who knows what was done to the clutch...

    4. Somebody stepped on the hood (or something) and put a grapefruit-sized dent in it.

    5. Got broken into the first week or so I moved to Vancouver. The thief used the "dent the door above the handle" trick which was so popular on this model a while ago...

    6. Fixie-pixie idiot considered a my right turn an offense to his no-brakes riding trajectory. Kicked in my rear tail light cracking the lens.

    7. While picking my beautiful wife up from work, I attempted (foolishly) to put her bike on the roof rack with my freshly broken hand. I lost my balance and fell into the passenger side door, caving it in. It popped back out, but it left a nice kink. It had just been re-painted...

    8. My beautiful wife clipped a column in a parking garage with the rear driver side.

    9. Yesterday, the mechanical sub on the jobsite I'm on backed into my driver door.

    Unreal. 8 year-old car, 9 incidents. I was involved in 2 of them. Only one of which involved any driving. I maintain that that one wasn't my fault... flame on, no brake retards...

    photo.JPG
     

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  2. kazlx

    kazlx Patches O'Houlihan

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    God hates you too....it might be punishment for being related to MMike.
     
  3. jackalope

    jackalope Mental acuity - 1%

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    Damn, your next car should be a Brinks truck. As an aside, I hope the offending fixie-pixie ended up with some missing teeth.
     
  4. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    This is standard car ownership. Busting timing belts and mashing valves is more "curse" level.
     
  5. dante

    dante Unabomber

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    Moving to a better area and getting new a family/wife would fix ~80% of those problems. You're 100% responsible for the broken hand-hand the driving-like-an-asshat though...
     
  6. canadmos

    canadmos Mater Slayer

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    Does yours have any rust?

    I will gladly trade you straight up for my Mazda 3, that has at least 2 less dents than yours.
     
  7. stoney

    stoney Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde

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    You should have kept the WRX.
     
  8. skyst3alth

    skyst3alth Monkey

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    My car has never been in the shop (knock on wood). Replaced the rear shocks myself after some jumping incidents, other than that it's routine maintenance. 109k on the clock

     
  9. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    no comment.
     
  10. Jeremy R

    Jeremy R <b>x</b>

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    behind you with a snap pop
    It is all starting to make a little more sense now......

     
  11. Beef Supreme

    Beef Supreme Turbo Monkey

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    I'd suggest something pre-damaged when looking for a replacement.
     
  12. Pesqueeb

    Pesqueeb bicycle in airplane hangar

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    That doesn't look like a jeep. :confused:
     
  13. DirtMcGirk

    DirtMcGirk <b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm

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    Wait, you're related to MMike?

    This is god's plan for you.
     
  14. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    This is actually brilliant advice. Not only do you get the thing pre-damaged, but the seller generally *discounts* the price of the car for damage. This is how we bought our van - low miles but a dented plastic bumper, some minor dings along the sides... and *boom* - instant $10-15K off the price of a new, undamaged van.

    Not only that, but it was shortly thereafter christened "The Battle Van" because of its character...
     
  15. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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  16. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Try it now.
     
  17. OGRipper

    OGRipper Turbo Monkey

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    NORCAL is the hizzle
    There is not one mechanical issue on that list.

    User error is not a curse.
     
  18. jasride

    jasride Turbo Monkey

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    Why not add a few more back racks for protection. Side mount door mounting racks and why not a hood rack? That should help with a few fender benders. Well the fixie pixie still managed to kick in your tail light, but was the rack up or down for that one?
     
  19. jdcamb

    jdcamb Tool Time!

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    That's the thing about smoking to much pot. You tend to put off things until all hell breaks loose. Then you feel the need to post about it in a bike forum. I wouldn't normally do this but I going to advocate you smoke more pot. Maybe even try something a little stronger.
     
  20. DirtyMike

    DirtyMike Turbo Fluffer

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    You did not realize this?

    This...... Just sit and think about it for a bit
     
  21. kazlx

    kazlx Patches O'Houlihan

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    Did you not consider that being related to MMike is your curse?
     
  22. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    if you know a guy with a awesome set of tools?

    this



    buffed out...

     
  23. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    I gotta say that dude has an AWESOME set of tools. Dayum.
     
  24. johnbryanpeters

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    Da Peach and MMike?
     
  25. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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  26. johnbryanpeters

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    Oh. so now you are figuring out that we are jerks? Perhaps you should seek tutoring? :D
     
  27. DirtMcGirk

    DirtMcGirk <b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm

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    Try it now. Not as flexy.
     
  28. Toshi

    Toshi Harbinger of Doom

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    Let this be known: White people--especially Canadians, who are extra white indeed--are worse drivers than Asians. Thank you.
     
  29. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    I wasn't EVEN IN THE CAR!

    Except for the hipster incident. I should have just run him down... Fixies are so retarded....
     
  30. Brian HCM#1

    Brian HCM#1 MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!

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    Of course it's cursed, you are a male driving a Subaru. Haven't you ever heard of the curse of the angry lesbian? Sell the car while you still have your manhood!
     
  31. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    My head hurts...
     
  32. Toshi

    Toshi Harbinger of Doom

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    Uh, that looks like a Mazda3 to me, Brian.
     
  33. canadmos

    canadmos Mater Slayer

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    Living where I do (in China 2.0 (near Markham, Ontario)), I could argue against that all day long hahah
     
  34. CrabJoe StretchPants

    CrabJoe StretchPants Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick

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    Noone steals Jeeps.
     
  35. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    You LOST CONTROL of a WRX on a SUNNY DAY and TOTALED IT!!
     
  36. Pesqueeb

    Pesqueeb bicycle in airplane hangar

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    Fact. In the 10+ years I've owned the wrangler, I have only locked the "doors" once. /coolstorybro
     
  37. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    actually...it was a wet on/off ramp.
     
  38. SkaredShtles

    SkaredShtles I love NEWCASTLE and will ONLY drink NEWCASTLE!!!!

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    That guy is dumber than a bag o' hammers.
     
  39. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    a mullet in your youth will do that...
     
  40. Toshi

    Toshi Harbinger of Doom

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    Thank you. :D I'm glad the 2006 incident remains fresh in the mind of those who still have fresh minds.