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my girlfriend's drunk

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
so my girlfriend's business fraternity's yearly "scavenger hunt" was held tonight. she's rode the bus to campus, knowing her "Little" was going to be her DD (designated driver for you folks not down wid-it). so anyway, i'm tired, it's been a long week, i go to bed. 12am comes around, and i'm awakened by my phone. say **** it, and doze off. phone rings again.

"can you come pick me up?"

"huh, wha...huh?"

"you know my Little, Tony, he just told me he's too drunk to drive. can you come pick me up?"

"****. yeah. where are you?"

"um, take a left, and you'll pass ____ (some apt. complex), and i'll be a couple blocks down."

"uh.....what street?"

"i'm off 35th"

"east...west of guadalupe? how do i get there?"

yadda yadda. i'm pretty pissed off. you know, grumpy 'cause i was woken up, annoyed at my g/f's Little 'cause the piece of **** can't not drink. so i go to pick her up, don't find her, call her, and ask where she is. i drove about 2 miles too far. she's still inside the apartment. what the ****? more annoyed. pick her up, she's appologizing. i say:

"nobody else was sober there? you've been in the club for 4yrs, and there wasn't a single undergrad who was capable of driving you home?"

"no...they were all drinking."

"so are they all staying there, or what?"

"no...they were all getting high."

"uh.......ok." i am totally oblivious to the fact that she's drunk. we had some more conversation, and she never mentioned she had drank (she's not a heavy drinker. 3 beers will 'cause her to puke all over herself). more surprisingly, i didn't pick up on it. maybe my head was still foggy, i don't know.

so we get to the apartment, i'm going up to our's, go inside, and realize she's not behind me. take off my coat, and go grab some mouthwash. she comes stumbling in. BAMMO! break out the "you don't care about me" talk in a drunken stupor. i'm like, "great...." she stumbles to her room, keeps telling me how i don't care about her and how i'd rather her drive home drunk and have an accident. then she gets on AIM and starts talking to one of her friends, Jen. next thing i know, Mandi's telling me she's going to Jen's for the night 'cause i don't care about her. thinking she's joking, i laugh. she wasn't. and she gets even more pissed. about that time is when she spits out that she had drank 4 beers. oh god. to be honest, i'm kind of glad she's leaving, 'cause now i don't have to hold her hair back (puking one of the few things i can't stand...like dh_girlie and spiders). so she just went downstairs to wait for Jen. i'm sure there's going to be a man-hating fest going on tonight.

moral of the story:

1) if you're the DD, don't ****ing drink. or smoke the wacky tobaccy.
2) if your girlfriend is drunk, run and hide. but don't laugh.
3) build up a tolerance to alcohol. or don't drink.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,971
20
Wait till she just steps outside and peg her with a mayonaisse filled water balloon, then lock the door.

Good night!
 

scurban

Turbo Monkey
Jul 11, 2004
1,054
0
SC
hmmm I always liked you inbred, but now, I just realized why you have the title boring attached under your name.
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
yeah, you know...not much happens in my neck of the woods. though, yesterday, the girl sitting across from me on the way to campus was sitting semi-spread eagle, and was sporting white panties with little flowers.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,971
20
the Inbred said:
man, you should've been here yesterday when she found out about my other girlfriend.
Maybe that's why she drank so much.

:think:
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
i was kidding. she had 2 exams thursday...maybe that's why, i don't know. she's usually stops drinking when she's had enough, so i don't really know caused her to drink more. funny, i can't drink around her, and she can't drink around me.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,663
411
NC
McGRP01 said:
What the hell is a "Little"? :confused:
"little brother" - it's a fraternity term for someone who you are... Um, I guess the closest word is mentoring in the fraternity. When the person joins the fraternity, they get a big brother to help them out, go to with questions, etc.

Inbred: no pity. She was at a party where everyone was drunk, you should have known she was drunk and acted accordingly - i.e. walked her in the house WITH you... then removed her pants. :p
 

sunny

Grammar Civil Patrol
Jul 2, 2004
1,108
0
Sandy Eggo, CA
the Inbred said:
man, you should've been here yesterday when she found out about my other girlfriend.
LOL!!! *snort - that one caught me off-guard. Pretty funny.


So, why couldn't she call a cab??? I love how she wakes you up when she's too irrisponsible to watch/mentor her Little and hold him accountable, drags you out of bed, then begins the "you don't care about me" song...
 

Ridemonkey

This is not an active account
Sep 18, 2002
4,109
0
Toronto, Canada
Weird, I've never heard of a guy doing the "You don't care about me" rant. Ladies, if we didn't care about you, we wouldn't do things like get out of bed at midnight to pick you up acrosss town. :)
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
johnbryanpeters said:
And perhaps you should both consider drinking less in general. The habit catches up with a lot of people later in life, and it ain't pretty.
i haven't had alcohol in over a month. she has maybe 1 drink every 2 weeks. i don't think we're on the verge of alcoholism.
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
13,970
1,218
Jimtown, CO
the Inbred said:
i haven't had alcohol in over a month. she has maybe 1 drink every 2 weeks. i don't think we're on the verge of alcoholism.
you better watch it though, in no time you will be living in a trailer park in your own filth, going through a fifth of Beam a day, yelling at each other, ending up on COPS with your shirt off, having wasted your life sucking on a bottle. :D
 

Sherpa

Basking in fail.
Jan 28, 2004
2,240
0
Arkansaw
TN said:
you better watch it though, in no time you will be living in a trailer park in your own filth, going through a fifth of Beam a day, yelling at each other, ending up on COPS with your shirt off, having wasted your life sucking on a bottle. :D
You could've just said...And end up like Brittney and Kevin.
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
Britney Spears/ Federline:



Kevin Federline:



g/f just got home, and she's hungover. am i supposed to be sympathetic? in the 3yrs we've been together, i've never seen her hungover.

--edit--

oh my god, how did that picture of manziman get in there?!
 

beestiboy

Monkey
May 21, 2005
321
0
Merded, ca
my wife tried to pull this crap our last semester of college a few years back. I picked her up and gave her the silent treatment for about 10 miles, waited to we pulled in the driveway and gave her a lecture like her dad use to do(trust me she deserved it she was the DD that night). She didnt talk to me until the next night, the first thing she said was "Sorry".

It happens sometimes but if it becomes a regular deal then I would start worrying.
 

-BB-

I broke all the rules, but somehow still became mo
Sep 6, 2001
4,257
28
Livin it up in the O.C.
the Inbred said:
3) build up a tolerance to alcohol. or don't drink.
Um, How do you do that? Can you get materials to build up a tolerance at Home Depot?
The only way I know how is to KEEP ON DRINKING!!
;)
 

Kevin

Turbo Monkey
the Inbred said:
so my girlfriend's business fraternity's yearly "scavenger hunt" was held tonight. she's rode the bus to campus, knowing her "Little" was going to be her DD (designated driver for you folks not down wid-it). so anyway, i'm tired, it's been a long week, i go to bed. 12am comes around, and i'm awakened by my phone. say **** it, and doze off. phone rings again.

"can you come pick me up?"

"huh, wha...huh?"

"you know my Little, Tony, he just told me he's too drunk to drive. can you come pick me up?"

"****. yeah. where are you?"

"um, take a left, and you'll pass ____ (some apt. complex), and i'll be a couple blocks down."

"uh.....what street?"

"i'm off 35th"

"east...west of guadalupe? how do i get there?"

yadda yadda. i'm pretty pissed off. you know, grumpy 'cause i was woken up, annoyed at my g/f's Little 'cause the piece of **** can't not drink. so i go to pick her up, don't find her, call her, and ask where she is. i drove about 2 miles too far. she's still inside the apartment. what the ****? more annoyed. pick her up, she's appologizing. i say:

"nobody else was sober there? you've been in the club for 4yrs, and there wasn't a single undergrad who was capable of driving you home?"

"no...they were all drinking."

"so are they all staying there, or what?"

"no...they were all getting high."

"uh.......ok." i am totally oblivious to the fact that she's drunk. we had some more conversation, and she never mentioned she had drank (she's not a heavy drinker. 3 beers will 'cause her to puke all over herself). more surprisingly, i didn't pick up on it. maybe my head was still foggy, i don't know.

so we get to the apartment, i'm going up to our's, go inside, and realize she's not behind me. take off my coat, and go grab some mouthwash. she comes stumbling in. BAMMO! break out the "you don't care about me" talk in a drunken stupor. i'm like, "great...." she stumbles to her room, keeps telling me how i don't care about her and how i'd rather her drive home drunk and have an accident. then she gets on AIM and starts talking to one of her friends, Jen. next thing i know, Mandi's telling me she's going to Jen's for the night 'cause i don't care about her. thinking she's joking, i laugh. she wasn't. and she gets even more pissed. about that time is when she spits out that she had drank 4 beers. oh god. to be honest, i'm kind of glad she's leaving, 'cause now i don't have to hold her hair back (puking one of the few things i can't stand...like dh_girlie and spiders). so she just went downstairs to wait for Jen. i'm sure there's going to be a man-hating fest going on tonight.

moral of the story:

1) if you're the DD, don't ****ing drink. or smoke the wacky tobaccy.
2) if your girlfriend is drunk, run and hide. but don't laugh.
3) build up a tolerance to alcohol. or don't drink.
So what your really trying to say is that girls in Austin are the same as girls in the rest of the world?
Who'd have thought.... :D
 

merrrrjig

Turbo Monkey
Dec 24, 2003
1,727
0
Mammoth Lakes, Ca
Grizzle said:
Yeah, the only time drunk people are funny is when you are drunk with them. Sounds like more drama than i would want to deal with.
That is not true at all, we were at gameworks in vegas for interbike and there was a totally wasted guy playing air hockey, must have been the funniest thing ever.
 

Grizzle

Monkey
Sep 7, 2005
216
0
La Crescenta, CA
-BB- said:
Um, How do you do that? Can you get materials to build up a tolerance at Home Depot?
The only way I know how is to KEEP ON DRINKING!!
;)
Best way to build up a tolerance to alcohol: Drink a beer and a whole bottle of goldschlager in 1 hour, stay awake as long as you can, go to sleep next to a large trash can on a floor covered in plastic bags or newspaper.
 

hooples3

Fuggetaboutit!
Mar 14, 2005
5,247
0
Brooklyn
i hear ya bro.... 2 beers my wife is getting silly....3 beers obnoxious...4 we are going to fight about anything she feels like fighting about...... thats why i dont go out drinking with her any more
 

Grizzle

Monkey
Sep 7, 2005
216
0
La Crescenta, CA
My last real girlfriend was like that, god it was a freaking pain in the ass. Try to be there for her when she's smashed, and i get ripped a new one for it. Maybe that is why i've been single for 3 years now?
 

-dustin

boring
Jun 10, 2002
7,165
1
austin
so mandi had a friend come over tonight. they busted out 2 bottles of wine. mandi had 2.5 (big) glasses, and was drunk. i asked her what her deal was, and she said "i want to get my tolerance higher." i rolled my eyes and walked away. she's now puking. should i go hold her hair back?



nah.

overall, her drinking is picking up. we might have to have a talk PDQ.
 

SK6

Turbo Monkey
Jul 10, 2001
7,596
0
Shut up and ride...
Ridemonkey said:
Weird, I've never heard of a guy doing the "You don't care about me" rant. Ladies, if we didn't care about you, we wouldn't do things like get out of bed at midnight to pick you up acrosss town. :)
:think: Because we're idiots.