[geargrrl]

Now they are enlisting the help of the FBI, and watching my every transaction. This is entertaining as hell, especially for grammar nazis.

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP THE INTERNET


Dear Esteem Beneficiary,
Have you receive your fund from the FedEx Courier Service Nigeria? Or from any organization claiming that they have your fund with them? We have been watching every transactions that you made from last year 2008 up till date and you have to know that we are also working to make sure that your fund which is supposed to be delivered to you some days ago can be immediately be delivered to you without any further delay or any kind of excuses.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation does not want any of our citizens to lose their fund and that is why we have been working every hour on our cyber watch department so you won’t get burnt by this scammers.

We are aware of every payment you have made on the transaction you are into to make the transaction succeed, yet the fund is still held down by the drug law agency and the immigration officer at the airport.

We want you to take note that our special investigation service diplomatic men are the one to deliver your fund of $5.8million to you without any further roadblock agencies.

The diplomatic delivery men are in Nigeria where your fund is originated at the international airport now, as soon as you get back to this email by applying to the instruction that is sent to you, the delivery will take effect immediately. {{my favorite sentence if you can call it that}}

The payment you are to send now so that your fund can finally get to you is the sum of $400USD for the airport clearance of your fund due to the huge amount of money, and as soon as this has been sent down via money gram or western union international money transfer, the delivery will take immediate effect by the delivery diplomatic men.

You have to stop every transaction you are into and communication with other organization to avoid delay on processing of your fund and wrong contact that is why we at the FBI have email you to warn you that your fund is in Nigeria at the immigration office where the diplomatic men will deliver it to you personally as soon as the payment of $400USD is sent to them.


Get back to us at the FBI as soon as you receive this email.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Robert S. Mueller,
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001, USA No virus found in this incoming message.

 

[Secret Squirrel]

 

[jonKranked]

You think those fvckers would have learned how to use spell check by now. What a bunch of amateurs.

 

[Quo Fan]

You think those fvckers would have learned how to use spell check by now. What a bunch of amateurs.

Actually, all the words are spelled correctly. Therefore, a spellchecker will not pick anything wrong. What they need is a grammar checker, or somebody to write the original who's first language is American English.

 

[Heidi]

Actually, all the words are spelled correctly. Therefore, a spellchecker will not pick anything wrong. What they need is a grammar checker, or somebody to write the original who's first language is American English.

Why, they want you to think they are really from Nigeria!

 

[IH8Rice]

Get back to us at the FBI as soon as you receive this email.

just in case you missed that it was from the FBI.

 

[golgiaparatus]

That was serious email, for your millions of U.S. dollars. You should be get back to the email as quick as is be possible. For all honesty, you didn't notice that the FBI wants to give you money?

 

[syadasti]

The Internet has been "wiretapped" by the government for many years now so they lose out right at the title...

 

[dump]

Sigh.

 

[valve bouncer]

Actually, all the words are spelled correctly. Therefore, a spellchecker will not pick anything wrong. What they need is a grammar checker, or somebody to write the original who's first language is American English.

Dear Mr Q Fan,
Thanks for your interest as grammar checker at Scammer Inc. We regret to inform you that your application has been denied.

 

[cannondalejunky]

We have been watching every transactions that you made from last year 2008 up till date

reply back that they are invading your privacy and you are currently contacting the authorities since they have accessed your accounts

 

[Brian HCM#1]

According to the several emails I've received within the last 3 weeks, I'm a multi multi millionaire

 

[ocelot]

Gwammi Mufasta - CollegeHumor video

 

[BIGHITR]

Send out bulk emails to Nigerians telling them the United States is offering Nigerian Scam artists dispensation if they come clean about their scams, plus 40 acres and a mule free to come to the United States to till their fertile land. In order to collect, they must send $1,000 US dollars to cover taxes, visa papers and air fare to the U.S. You'll need their name, phone number, bank routing number, bank account number, and address where to send airline tickets. :biggrin:

 

[Mr Jones]

Haha, got a new one today. Made me LOL

FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE HOUSE OF NIGERIA This Email is from the Ministry Of Finance House Of Nigeria. We hereby bring to your notice that your compensated fund which was surpose to be deliver to you by the courier company is been brought back to our office due to some reason that you refuse to comply with them and also you refuse to pay for the shippment fee which is just $340 US dollars.

Mean while it has came to our notice that you have been dealing with some group of people that claim to have your fund but we the Ministry Of Finance House advice that you should stop every thing you are be doing with them because all they are trying to do is to rip you off your hard earned money. We want to bring this back to your notice again that your ATM CARD Worth $930,000.00 us dollars is here in our office right now. If you really need it you have to get back to us and let us immediately so that delivery can commence to your door step. Note: You have to pay for the shipping fee which is only $340 US dollars. Listen if you know that you cannot pay for the shipping fee don't reply to this e-mail.

Note we will cancel your compensated fund worth $930,000.00. But if you know you are ready to pay for the shipping fee of your Compensated ATM CARD to enable the courier company commence delivery, get back to us and let us know when you will be making the payment. For proper verification you are advice to provide below requirement, so that we can reconfirm your information. Fill in below with your personal information. Full Name.............. Full Address.............. Phone Number............... Sex.......... Occupation......... Age....... Note: Your fund is now approve by the State President and also your fund has an Inssurance Certificate so we advice you go ahead and wire the $340 for the shipping fee so that the Courier Company can commence with the Delivery.

Below is the payment information to use. Receiver Name: Justice Emmanuel Receiver Address: Lagos Nigeria. Test Question: Good Test Answer: Faith Amount:$340 MTCN...........Fill In Get back to us ASAP Thanks Best Regards Barrister Dogulas Keny MINISTRY OF FINANCE HOUSE +234-708-488-0895

 

[bizutch]

Haha, got a new one today. Made me LOL

If just one English speaking person would make their way to an internet cafe in Nigeria and help those guys re-word their proposals, they'd be a millionaire by dawn.

 

[IH8Rice]

If just one English speaking person would make their way to an internet cafe in Nigeria and help those guys re-word their proposals, they'd be a millionaire by dawn.

their broken engrish still seems to work.

stupid people

 

[rigidhack]

But the FBI wants to give me money. ME!...MONEY!

EDIT:

Dear Esteemed Ride Monkians,

I am writing this note to you from the balcony of my new palace that I paid for with money given to me by the FBI, with help the good people at the Nigerian Ministry of Finance. You too can partake in vast riches, and all you have to do is send me your name, your social security number, your personal banking information including all credit card and PIN numbers, copies of your most recent tax returns, and the waist size of your mother's underwear. Within 48 hours, you too could be be the owner of a palace with a swimming pool filled with champagne, and your own bowing alley...

 

[dump]

If just one English speaking person

Nigerians speak English, however for most, not as their first language.

they'd be a millionaire by dawn.

I guess that one person won't be you.

 

[milohead]

You'll need their name, phone number, bank routing number, bank account number, and address where to send airline tickets. :biggrin:

They don't even have 4 outta 5 of those.

 

[dump]

They don't even have 4 outta 5 of those.

you'd be suprised. 419 guys all have mobile phones.

 

[ultraNoob]

Got a new one today. I'm guessing they're taking creative writing classes now?

Hello Dear,

I am Ms Fatima Omar Al Senussi, 23 years old, a medical student, my father of blessed memory by name late Dr. Omar Al Senussi who was the a manager with CNPC oil company at the Khartoum refinery in Sudan, was killed along side with my beloved mother and only brother. Our family house burnt down by the rebels during the last crisis in my country

i am now writing you from Bobo-Dioulasso Burkina-Faso where i escaped through road, and now seeking asylum in a private charity organization under St Johns Church here in Bobo-Dioulasso Burkina-Faso, you can find more of my story through the following site on the netbbc news http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6469857.stm

So i am now in search of an honest and reliable person who will help to relocate me in any of the western or any other place in the world, for a better life and to continue my studies, i have chosen to contact you after going through your profile and i believe you are a reliable person who will not let me down or betray my trust i know you may wonder why i am so soon telling you about all this, even without seeing or knowing you fully well, really something in me tells me that you are a good person and i guess i am not wrong.

Briefly i will like to disclose little more about myself to you and see if you can help me to relocate to your country so as to continue with my studies and have a new life, and please this is a little secrete and i plead with you to keep it to yourself alone until everything is properly arranged and executed, then i will come over to join you in your country i have the sum of $9.4 Million as an inheritance from my late father which i will like to invest in your country with your help, the reason why i need your help is based on the instruction my late father gave to the bank to release the fund to me at the age of 23 or through a foreigner who can help me to invest the fund wisely, i can not b able to make this claim because of my refugee status.

This fund is deposited in my late father's bank account with one of the banks here in Burkina-Faso and i am going to give you all the details / contact because i want the money to be transferred to your account before i come over to join you in your country, i need your urgent answer of your ability to handle this for me so that i will tell you the next step because i want to leave this refugee camp as soon as possible, life here is to me a hell, no love, no affection and no amenities, more importantly, i love my studies and here nothing is happening and people here are not friendly, i am really suffering in this place, it is too painful, but i hope with your help to transferring the fund in your account, i will have a better life to liveso kindly let me know your readiness to help me and i promise to always be nice and faithful to you i will send you send you a copy of mine photo as soon i receive our positive respond .

thank you and God bless you

sincerely yours,

Ms Fatima Al Senussi.

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

what rubbish , noob people

Oh the irony

 

[berkshire_rider]

Got a new one today. I'm guessing they're taking creative writing classes now?

Capitalization, punctuation, and sentence structure all still suck.

 

[rockofullr]

Anyone ever take these e-mail addresses and sign them up for every kind of porn-spam known to the internet?

 

[ICEBALL585]

Anyone ever take these e-mail addresses and sign them up for every kind of porn-spam known to the internet?

That's an awesome idea

 

[-BB-]

Got a new one today. I'm guessing they're taking creative writing classes now?

Quote: "this is a little secrete and i plead with you to keep it to yourself"

Yeah, keep those secretions to yourself buddy!!

 

[jdcamb]

Seemed pretty convincing. Now that they have all my info. What do I do now?

 

[ICEBALL585]

Seemed pretty convincing. Now that they have all my info. What do I do now?

Apparently just sit back and wait for the money to be transferred to your account.

 

[jdcamb]

Apparently just sit back and wait for the money to be transferred to your account.

Sweet! I wonder how much it would cost to buy everyone here a bike?

 

[ICEBALL585]

Sweet! I wonder how much it would cost to buy everyone here a bike?

Must be pretty exciting to know you'll soon have 9.4M in your bank account. That will buy a lot of bikes.

 

[jdcamb]

Must be pretty exciting to know you'll soon have 9.4M in your bank account. That will buy a lot of bikes.

Does anyone know a good Hitman? The one I know is kind of an idiot.

 

[ICEBALL585]

Does anyone know a good Hitman? The one I know is kind of an idiot.

Na can't think of any good ones off hand. It's ok, I doubt she'll make it out of the refugee camp and if she does then just give her a fake address.

 

[jdcamb]

Na can't think of any good ones off hand. It's ok, I doubt she'll make it out of the refugee camp and if she does then just give her a fake address.

You're pretty smart. Do you have access to the RideMonkey Courtesy Phone perhaps?

 

[ultraNoob]

Na can't think of any good ones off hand. It's ok, I doubt she'll make it out of the refugee camp and if she does then just give her a fake address.

or give her the address to the DHS headquarters.

 

[ICEBALL585]

You're pretty smart. Do you have access to the RideMonkey Courtesy Phone perhaps?

Haven't been granted the honor of the RM Courtesy Phone yet but I'm hoping that one day I will. It's that hope that gets me out of bed each morning.

 

[ultraNoob]

Haven't been granted the honor of the RM Courtesy Phone yet but I'm hoping that one day I will. It's that hope that gets me out of bed each morning.

see jd... you're not alone

 

[jdcamb]

see jd... you're not alone

I feel I am being singled out for using the Panera Bread gift card I found in the Bath room. Its not fair.

 

[Wumpus]

Your order has been successfully canceled. For your reference, here's a summary of your order:

You just canceled order #133-1179336-137352 placed on February 16, 2012.

Status: CANCELED

_____________________________________________________________________

1 of The Quezon Special Edition
By: Sean Richardson

Sold by: Amazon.com LLC

_____________________________________________________________________

Thank you for visiting Amazon.com!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Amazon.com
Earth's Biggest Selection
http://www.amazon.com

They are really getting creative now.

 

[jdcamb]

Had I had access to the courtesy phone I would not have faced financial ruin like I am now. DMG is like a pitbull on crack and I plan on hiring him to represnt my interests here no matter how vague they may seem. I totally trust him to screw all of you over.