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Newlyweds (Jokes!)

The Jinx

I'm an angel
Apr 22, 2002
110
0
Penang, Malaysia
Subject: FW: Newlyweds


THIS IS MY NEW INSPIRATION !!


A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...

"LISTEN UP, D!CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FVCKING BEER IN YOUR GODDAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFVCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED NOW, YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A##SHOLE?"

....and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story? :devil: :devil: :devil:
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
hahhahaahaa.

i will never marry. im going to try and get a clone of myself and fall in love with it.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,180
17
TN
DHracer1067 said:
but then you would be gay and shunned upon for the rest of your life.

I mean...its not really being homosexual as much as it is being asexual, cause you'd just be getting with yourself. I think Id like to do me.