[Rip]

One Long Island Iced Tea has 789 calories in it.

http://www.drinkspub.com/Cocktails-drinks-recipe/Long-I...-Iced-Tea-drink.html

One New Orleans Hand Grenade has 750 calories.
http://www.drinkspub.com/Cocktails-drinks-recipe/New-Or...d-Grenade-drink.html

One Mai Tai has 616 calories.
http://www.drinkspub.com/Cocktails-drinks-recipe/Mai-Tai-2-drink.html