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Office Antics / Revenge

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
Here's what I was thinking. Couple cans of tuna fish (opened) under his bottom drawer. He's not in my area, so that's a good thing.

The smell after several day should be nice.

Whadaya think? I live for this type of ****. Last job I put the turkey the president gave everyone in the ceiling above his desk. Trouble is I never got to see what happened.
 

sam_little

Monkey
May 18, 2003
783
0
Portland, OR
What is the offense requiring revenge? I always like the subtlety of rearranging keys so that QWERTYU becomes FVCKYOU. Requires after-hours access to cube/office, though.
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
the office as a whole, is not requiring revenge. Only part of the office.

Let's set some guidelines here.

To simplify our discussions, we define the term "order" to mean an environment with a given number of dimensions. A plane has an order of two. A higher order has more dimensions than a lower order. The term "transcendent" means "to be of a higher order" or "to have more integrated dimensions".

The preceding analogies demonstrated transitions between lower and higher orders. Simultaneously they provided transitions between visible aspects and their transcendent invisible objects. In the same way we are trying to induce the integrated 4-D space-time environment from its aspects: 3-D space and time.

From the observations of waves and particles, we want to transcend to understand the quanta from which they are projected, and so on.

The key to this process is a thorough understanding of the relationship between a whole and its constituent parts.
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
13,609
1,912
Groton, MA
Take a screen cap of his comp, apply it as the background image and delete all his desktop icons, as well as hide and lock the taskbar.
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
13,609
1,912
Groton, MA
the office as a whole, is not requiring revenge. Only part of the office.

Let's set some guidelines here.

To simplify our discussions, we define the term "order" to mean an environment with a given number of dimensions. A plane has an order of two. A higher order has more dimensions than a lower order. The term "transcendent" means "to be of a higher order" or "to have more integrated dimensions".

The preceding analogies demonstrated transitions between lower and higher orders. Simultaneously they provided transitions between visible aspects and their transcendent invisible objects. In the same way we are trying to induce the integrated 4-D space-time environment from its aspects: 3-D space and time.

From the observations of waves and particles, we want to transcend to understand the quanta from which they are projected, and so on.

The key to this process is a thorough understanding of the relationship between a whole and its constituent parts.
Einstein said all that 100 years ago, so you're really not impressing anyone.
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
Take a screen cap of his comp, apply it as the background image and delete all his desktop icons, as well as hide and lock the taskbar.

NOW THAT'S INGENIUS. Coupled with the stank from the Tuna, that should make a lovely day.

Now some more of the relationship between the whole and it's parts.

HOLON PRINCIPLES

HP1. *The whole has more dimensions than each of its constituent parts.*

HP2. *Each part is an aspect of the whole, seen from a lower order.*

HP3. *The whole encompasses all its parts.*

HP4. *The whole is invisible from the orders of its parts.*

HP5. *The whole is an undivided and homogeneous entity, while its parts appear as separate individual entities in their order.*

HP6. *The whole and its parts are one and the same, viewed from different dimensional orders.*

HP7. *Both the whole and its parts are real, but the whole has a more profound reality.*

HP8. *The parts are wholes in their own right at a lower order.*

HP9. *The whole is immanent in each of its parts.*

HP10. *A change of any part goes simultaneously with a change of the whole, and a change of the whole goes with changes in its parts.*
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,889
950
Front Range, dude...
We once had a co worker who had a bare foot phobia...and was highly annoying.

So we took of our shoes and socks and took all kinds of pictures of his desk and our nasty feet, all over his desk, computer and whatnot. Would send him the pictures, one by one, when he was acting up.
 

Nick

My name is Nick
Sep 21, 2001
19,985
7,690
behind you, don't wait up.
Stealthy acts of vengence are weak.
Corner whoever offended you, call them out on it, and punch them in the throat.

That'll take care of the offender and free up your schedule at the same time.




You're welcome.
 

ridiculous

Turbo Monkey
Jan 18, 2005
2,907
1
MD / NoVA
i once froze a coworkers ID card in a styrofoam cup. He was lucky it was a proximity card and didnt look that weird putting a cup next to the sensor when he had to leave his desk.
 

sneakysnake

Monkey
Apr 2, 2006
875
1
NC
I've used cans of sardines hidden all around...that produced quite the stink. Or, if you had the time tons of little dixie cups covering everything in his office...with each cup half full of water.
 

boogenman

Turbo Monkey
Nov 3, 2004
3,630
388
BUFFALO
I like the Tuna idea and the sardines even more! You need to go one step farther and put a lillte bit of milk in with either one, it speeds up the process and creates another layer of stench.



The guy in front of me a huge meathead and tool. I stole his car keys a few months ago and now I set his alarm off now and then. This summer I am going to drive by his house at 4:00am to set the **** off in his garage. :banana:
 

Knuckleslammer

took the red pill
I like the Tuna idea and the sardines even more! You need to go one step farther and put a lillte bit of milk in with either one, it speeds up the process and creates another layer of stench.



The guy in front of me a huge meathead and tool. I stole his car keys a few months ago and now I set his alarm off now and then. This summer I am going to drive by his house at 4:00am to set the **** off in his garage. :banana:

Dude, you and I would be very dangerous together. I like your style :cheers:
 

DirtyMike

Turbo Fluffer
Aug 8, 2005
14,445
994
My own world inside my head
Tubes under the ****ter door until they pop, when they start stabbing them right away, start using slime tubes.

Bottle rockets under the ****ter door with the sticks cut off

Grease on the nose pads of eye glasses<darker is funnier>

Those firecrackers you pull the two strings to set off attached inside the toilet seat

I will add more later
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
4
since copying what you may see on The Office may be too elaborate, i suggest (if you're able to disassemble his pc):

- urinal cakes by the blower fan
- remote doorbell
- reset jumpers
- steal cmos battery
- steal 1/2 the memory

there's also the classics, like bring up msconfig & have every possible app load @ boot time & compete for priority, honey under the front edge of the desk, sugar/salt desk, pour a little coke (1 tsp) in select keys, set phone ringer vol to 11, hide your kiddie/gay pr0n / meth in his desk. ed: if he's a hunt/peck typer, swap m/n, r/t, i/o, ctrl/alt on different days

if he's stupid enough to leave keys laying around, find one or more identical blanks from a key shop during lunch & replace
 

w00dy

In heaven there is no beer
Jun 18, 2004
3,408
36
that's why we drink it here
If you work in an office that has motion sensors for the lights in every office, turn the sleep time and the sensitivity all the way down. He'll be jumping up and down like an idiot every 5 minutes.