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Ok, how can I get to Afghanistan as a civillian?

Am I out of my mind for trying to get to Bagram, Afghanistan?

  • You've lost it. You'll shoot your eye out.

    Votes: 10 25.0%
  • Hell of a gesture, but is that what would save the marriage?

    Votes: 8 20.0%
  • Go fatboy go!

    Votes: 9 22.5%
  • Bacon

    Votes: 13 32.5%

  • Total voters
    40

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
More and more I am starting to think the only way to save my marriage is to get my ass to Bagram, Afghanistan.

Any suggestions on how to do this?

I worked out my visa issues, so I am GTG there.

However, any thoughts on the best way to get there?

I am thinking fly to JFK, then to Dubai. From Dubai jump on a plane to Kabul.

What I am concerned most about is:
- Kabul to Bagram.
- Getting into Bagram.
- Not getting killed getting in or getting out.

I don't think I can get a press affiliation in my time frame, furthermore I don't know anyone willing to stick their neck out like that.

I have this feeling that strapping up once I get there, body armor, gun, the whole kit, would be a bad plan as well. Both from the stand point that it would draw too much attention, and I don't think it would go over well if I were to show up at a base under war conditions with a mohawk and an AK. Just a thought though.

Anyone been over there recently? Any suggestions?
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,031
5,920
borcester rhymes
first post yaaaaaaaay

you're out of your mind. Work on getting yourself together and show her that every time you speak to her. All she has to go on is what you tell her in your conversations. I think it would be wise to stick to your plan, get your **** together then show her your improvements when she returns. you won't get far in halfghanistanimation.
 

AlmostHeaven

Turbo Monkey
Jun 8, 2005
1,164
0
VIRGINIA
maybe explaining the point of going to SandLand in the first place would help some people give you advice?

since we aren't all your best friends and stuff, nor read everything you post, we are kind of left wondering WTF you are talking about to begin with.

just a thought.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
My wife is over there with the Navy.
She asked me for a divorce about a week ago.

Too many years of me being insane, anti her in the navy, drinking and acting like an ass.

I gotta salvage this deal, the sun rises and sets for me with that girl.

Face to face, in my opinion, is the only way this is going to come back together long enough to get her home and let us do some work on us.

So in the short strokes, my plan is jump a plane to the holy land, get to her base, woo her again, get her home in march or april, and then put in a lot of work.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,031
5,920
borcester rhymes
I just don't think you'll make it over there, dude. And even if you do, how are you going to get and get into her base?

You might be able to go to pakistan and fly in from there, but you'll still have to get to where she is, and I'm sure she's in some area that isn't exactly "tourist friendly".

I gotta give you credit for wanting to go, but I think you had better wait until AT LEAST she has some leave in Germany or Kuwait or whatever and try and meet up with her there.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
She doesn't get leave. Its sort of screw ball there.

Bagram is about a 45 to an hour drive from Kabul. I've done it before when I was protected by the salvation of kevlar and a humvee. Its a bit different now.

I know the road, and I know it can be done, now I am just unsure of how to get on base. No military pass, no credentials, no nothing, just me and my wits.

Not my best idea, but then again, some of my worst ideas turned out to be my best.
 

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,740
470
WTF do you think this is, some romantic comedy??? Exactly how do you see this playing out? Put the pipe down...

Edit: "Bacon" is in the lead. Take a hint.
 
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DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
How do I see it playing out? No idea.

I figure its time for an epic gesture to show her that I really love her, and that she is what causes the sun to rise and set in my world.

My theory, and mind you its not the best one yet, is that if I can get there, get across a war zone, not get killed and talk to her, it will at least prove that I am willing to try.

And maybe that's enough.
 

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
I think it's very possible. I know a documentary filmmaker that's been to some really hairy places solo and on no budget. Yes, you do run a risk but I'd bet that once you get there you can find a knowledgeable local to take you to the base. I'd do it.

Not trying to bring the gloom and I don't know how the talks with your wife went, but I had a good friend who's wife got stationed in Germany for 15 months and while he was home taking care of their 3 kids she was shacking up with some other dude. He got a similar excuse at first. I seriously hope that isn't the case but you may want to find out before you go halfway around the world and risk your life.

Oh, and if you're seriously considering this, you're definitely posting on the wrong forum. You need to go to Robert Young Pelton's Black Flag Cafe forums.
 

geargrrl

Turbo Monkey
May 2, 2002
2,379
1
pnw -dry side
Having been through the brink of disaster with my marriage ( and back again) here's my advice.
Stay home, work your program, learn how to do new things, and show her the difference when there is one to show. What is going there going to show her now? That you've been sober a week? Big deal. It will be a bunch of talk and promises; like she probably hasn't heard those before...

Be sober six months or a year, and then do it. First thing they ought to teach you in AA is don't make any big decisions or do anything major for a year or two.

Edit: I really think the grand gesture is making change in your life, for you first, her second and if it all comes together in the end, it will be teh awesome. As a warning, when a relationship has been focused for so long on one person's bad behavior ,and then they get healthy, the whole dynamic changes. Some relationships don't survive that, because once the finger pointing at the "bad one" stops, the really problems ( or other persons flaws) start to surface.
 
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AlmostHeaven

Turbo Monkey
Jun 8, 2005
1,164
0
VIRGINIA
granted, it is the thought that counts, but I'm gonna have to go with the old 'live to fight/play/woo,etc. another day' adage.

maybe just talking to her on the phone, threatening to come there to see her, and then trying to work things out when she gets home would be a good start?...

why does she bother with the complexity of asking for a divorce in the midst of her deployment anyways? is there some Navy stud over there that's caught her eye or what? just seems sort of random to me, but then again I don't know you or her.

good luck.

I think it's very possible. I know a documentary filmmaker that's been to some really hairy places solo and on no budget. Yes, you do run a risk but I'd bet that once you get there you can find a knowledgeable local to take you to the base. I'd do it.
he isn't a filmmaker nor does he have any credible excuse to be allowed into a Naval base, much less a place like Afghanistan in the first place. the only similarities between your friend and Dirt is that he is solo and possibly on no budget. that probably won't get him too far unfortunately.
 
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jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
40,939
13,133
Portland, OR
Seriously, work on yourself. She asked for a divorce for a reason. Give her a reason to come back. The worst that can happen by working on yourself is you are better off for the next relationship.

I think if you go now, it will only make EVERYTHING worse.
 

Silver

find me a tampon
Jul 20, 2002
10,840
1
Orange County, CA
She's probably pulling a train in the boiler room every night...

Something to think about.

Seriously though, your issues with her being in the Navy aren't going to go away unless she's getting out soon. Her issues with you drinking aren't going to disappear. Acting like an ass...leopards and spots.

You ****ed it up. Time to deal with it.
 

denjen

Certified Lift Whore
Sep 16, 2001
1,691
36
Richmond VA
Having been through the brink of disaster with my marriage ( and back again) here's my advice.
Stay home, work your program, learn how to do new things, and show her the difference when there is one to show. What is going there going to show her now? That you've been sober a week? Big deal. It will be a bunch of talk and promises; like she probably hasn't heard those before...

Be sober six months or a year, and then do it. First thing they ought to teach you in AA is don't make any big decisions or do anything major for a year or two.

Edit: I really think the grand gesture is making change in your life, for you first, her second and if it all comes together in the end, it will be teh awesome. As a warning, when a relationship has been focused for so long on one person's bad behavior ,and then they get healthy, the whole dynamic changes. Some relationships don't survive that, because once the finger pointing at the "bad one" stops, the really problems ( or other persons flaws) start to surface.
awesome advice. I to have been to the edge and back. Trust me if this all just came up the last thing she wants is you in her face. My wife didnt want anything to do with me when our trouble started and the more I tried to get in front of her the madder she got. If you want to save your marrige you have show her that you are willing to do whatever it takes on your end to get things right.


I hope and pray it all works out for you.
 

FlyinPolack

Monkey
Jul 16, 2007
371
0
My wife means the world to me, I'd go. **** Ya!
Get to it man!
Wear a white suit with a big red + on the back. You can go anywhere with a suit like that!

Oh, & bring flowers
 

maddog17

Turbo Monkey
Jan 20, 2008
2,815
105
Methuen, Mass. U.S.A.
your idea is grand and romantic but a little foolish. you haven't been in your program long enough for it to have taken hold and she will probably point that out. and that may cause you further problems if she gets mad at you for traveling all that way, putting yourself in potential danger. she may think what if you got killed then she'd have to deal with that. stay home and continue to work on you. email her once a week or everyday for that matter and keep her up to date with what your doing. it sucks she doesn't get some type of leave, but would you be telling her your going over there or were you planning to make it some type of surprise? stay home where your safe, where she knows your safe and continue with your program.
 

jerseydirt

Turbo Monkey
May 6, 2007
1,936
0
dirty jerz
I would say stay home, get your act together, its not worth taking a risky adventure into afghanistan where you could be killed right on the spot. Stay home, improve yourself and when she comes back she will think "oh my, this marriage improved." Then you can enjoy bacon.
 

RUFUS

e-douche of the year
Dec 1, 2006
3,480
1
Denver, CO
Tell me honestly, would you go into the middle of Iraq? Afganistan is 20x worse than Iraq, trust me I have been there and I will gladly go back to Iraq. This isn't a movie, you have a very high percentage of being kidnapped or killed. Plus there is absolutely no way that you can just walk on base.
Don't be stupid.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,092
1,132
NC
Sit down and take a deep breath.

Sounds like an excuse not to work on getting your act together.

Fixing yourself is the first step.
This is wisdom.

You're f**ked up right now. You know this. You don't have your act together to the point where you can sustain a healthy relationship (on your own admission).

One thing at a time. Get your own life together. Until then, you don't have anything to offer her.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,076
9,780
I have no idea where I am
More and more I am starting to think the only way to save my marriage is to get my ass to Bagram, Afghanistan.

My wife is over there with the Navy.
She asked me for a divorce about a week ago.

Too many years of me being insane, anti her in the navy, drinking and acting like an ass.

I gotta salvage this deal, the sun rises and sets for me with that girl.

Face to face, in my opinion, is the only way this is going to come back together long enough to get her home and let us do some work on us.

So in the short strokes, my plan is jump a plane to the holy land, get to her base, woo her again, get her home in march or april, and then put in a lot of work.
If you think she's had enough of your craziness now, just show up there.

Think Man !




this tidbit of advise brought to you by the relationship impaired
 

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,740
470
Tell me honestly, would you go into the middle of Iraq? Afganistan is 20x worse than Iraq, trust me I have been there and I will gladly go back to Iraq. This isn't a movie, you have a very high percentage of being kidnapped or killed. Plus there is absolutely no way that you can just walk on base.
Don't be stupid.
Listen to this guy....

You may want to consider the possibility that it's a combination of you screwing up and that she is on a base that is 99% other men, marooned in the middle of the desert for all practical purposes. Think about it..

I do not have first-hand experience with this, but by all accounts I have learned this: if people have the misconception that only men in the military have a high probability of cheating in a relationship while they are in the service overseas, they are ignoring the even higher probability among the few women in the service doing the same.

If you know for sure that isn't the case, then good. But remember she is halfway around the world facing no consequences to those actions...
 

loco-gringo

Crusading Clamp Monkey
Sep 27, 2006
8,887
14
Deep in the heart of TEXAS
Way to judge his wife guys. I'm the first to admit that Dirt can be a nutweasel, but we don't know the wife from Adam. Perhaps we could help the poor bastard by not giving him more sh*t to worry himself with. I think he has enough right now.
 

chicodude

The Spooninator
Mar 28, 2004
1,054
2
Paradise
I don't think his wife is riding the train so to speak, but going to mother****ing afganland to save your marriage probably is not going to cut it. Wait for her to come back to finalize the papers and then you have her chance too woo her....(Not kidwoo her, that would mean 100 ft restraining order...:D)
 

jebfour

Turbo Monkey
Jun 19, 2003
2,059
1,400
CLT, NC
I'm going to go on the other side of the fence.....most people just seem anxious to rip on you but I'm going to take another route. Believe it or not, despite your antics, you actually seem like a good guy. Plus, you have zits with an audible pop. That's tough to beat.

First, don't go into a war zone as a civilian. That's just nuts.

Get your girl on the phone (if possible - and if you haven't already done this) - ask her what the problem is. Is it you being an ass or ???

Is it possible for the two of you to meet in semi neutral territory?

Best of luck to you man....:monkeydance:
 

Kanye West

220# bag of hacktastic
Aug 31, 2006
3,740
470
I only rip on you for your own good. Otherwise I'd probably just encourage you.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Listen, my paranoid and dark mind went right to the possibility that she was with someone else, or after she dropped the bomb that she went to playing the "dick dick dick dick dick dick" (how many dicks is that? A lot..) game.

And in truth, I have no way to confirm nor deny that she is or is not.
But right now, I have to have faith.

We talked tonight. She said "remember when I was mad about the fact you bought new pads for your bike? Imagine how pissed I would be if you spent $7500 to get over here." For some reason, that made me feel better.

She and I need this time given to us by mandate of GWB and the USN to work on ourselves. Once we can get back to being ourselves (me not a raging loon who gets pissed off at the drop of a hat, and her a happy and bubbly monkey butt that she always has been) then we can get back to putting us together again.

Staying in the US, working the steps, going to a shrink, running/lifting/riding, staying away from the sauce: these are the things that might save my marriage.

And I've said it once, I'll say it again, I have been over to Afghan land many times. Mind you it was with the protection of BW or the Army, but I have been there.

So its back to work on me. The joy, the rapture!

Its a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.
 

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
11,669
1,713
chez moi
If you manage to get there, which is certainly possible, the guards aren't going to let you in, and when the CO calls her and wants to know why her psycho ex-husband is at the gate asking/demanding entry, she's not going to be very happy or impressed with your grand romantic gesture.

You will likely end up being deported and declared persona non grata at the request of the military and/or US consular authorities.

Edit: Congolese super-high speed Ewok internet strikes again...sounds like you made the best of a ****ty situation. Congrats.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
If you manage to get there, which is certainly possible, the guards aren't going to let you in, and when the CO calls her and wants to know why her psycho ex-husband is at the gate asking/demanding entry, she's not going to be very happy or impressed with your grand romantic gesture.

You will likely end up being deported and declared persona non grata at the request of the military and/or US consular authorities.
1. Not ex yet.
2. Base CO is a personal friend.
3. They are using it as the consulate there, so passport would do the trick.

But I'm not going, so relax your self.
 

worship_mud

Turbo Monkey
Dec 9, 2006
1,464
2
As a warning, when a relationship has been focused for so long on one person's bad behavior ,and then they get healthy, the whole dynamic changes. Some relationships don't survive that, because once the finger pointing at the "bad one" stops, the really problems ( or other persons flaws) start to surface.
this is soooooooo true.

i stopped teh booze 20 months ago, and my relationship is in a downward spiral... i thought that many of her "flaws" were caused by my complete lack of soberness, but they obviously aren't. so it's quite an uphill struggle in regards of relationship. having a three year old daughter helps in keeping a fragile equilibrium, but it's a kind of funcionality to let the kid grow up "normal". i know it sounds sick, but when i'm really down, i sometimes think that i should have kept on boozing, cause i seemed to be happier then, then i am now. but that's because back then i could just drown my misery, today i have to face it.
i have no advise neither for your crusade, nor for your live. stop the booze, the rest will follow. i couldn't fix all the sh*t i f*cked up during a decade of massive, massive boozing, although i wish i could. friendships have been destroyed, sobering up didn't repair them. don't expect that people will appreciate, that you stopped drinking, because usually they don't even know what being an alcoholic means at all. in my case they think i am just an antisocial piece of sh*t.
but i (generally) feel better today, i'm proud that i left at least some of my demons behind me. life's good.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
For me I am just having to live one day at a time now, to get into the moments as they come to me.

Saw my shrink this morning. Liking that guy more and more, he's dealt with my sort of madness before, and knows his deal.

I know that "the gate is narrow, and the way is hard that leads to salvation, and those who find it are few" (to steal from the Bible) but I also know that I have to try.

Not for her.
Not for us.
But for me.

I have spent so many years living "wrong" as my grandfather would say it. I need to get back to being me if there is any hope for me.

Its a long hard road out of hell.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,076
9,780
I have no idea where I am
For me I am just having to live one day at a time now, to get into the moments as they come to me.

Saw my shrink this morning. Liking that guy more and more, he's dealt with my sort of madness before, and knows his deal.

I know that "the gate is narrow, and the way is hard that leads to salvation, and those who find it are few" (to steal from the Bible) but I also know that I have to try.

Not for her.
Not for us.
But for me.

I have spent so many years living "wrong" as my grandfather would say it. I need to get back to being me if there is any hope for me.

Its a long hard road out of hell.

If you pop your front wheel off the ground and turn the bars a little, you should be able to squeeze through.

I always expect to clip the end of the bar, that way I'm not surprised if it happens and don't get put down.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Always wanted to try a HALO.

I hear the jump is fun, but its the landing that kills you.