The Polish one is my favourite.....
Poly Sci for Dummies
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to
manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides
you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd
of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government
pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and
then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself
and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when one
cow drops dead. You spin an announcement
to the analysts stating you have downsized
and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three
cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably
crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond,
drink lots of beer, give excellent quality
milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where
they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful
woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five
cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42
cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however
many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan,
which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot
touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US
government to find alternatives to milk
production but use the money to buy
weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French,
other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the
French cow.
The French cow wants control of the
Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the
brown one best accidentally vote for the
black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote
at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state
tell you which one you think is the
best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Poly Sci for Dummies
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to
manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides
you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd
of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government
pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and
then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself
and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when one
cow drops dead. You spin an announcement
to the analysts stating you have downsized
and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three
cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth
the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably
crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond,
drink lots of beer, give excellent quality
milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where
they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful
woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five
cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42
cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however
many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan,
which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot
touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US
government to find alternatives to milk
production but use the money to buy
weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French,
other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the
French cow.
The French cow wants control of the
Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the
brown one best accidentally vote for the
black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote
at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state
tell you which one you think is the
best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
