[stoney]

Last night when I was unable to sleep, I got an email from my sister asking for help with brewing for my brother-in-law. There were a few of us on the email including my best friend from childhood, whom I haven't talked to since Wifey and I got married. That got me thinking about the past and somehow onto what I consider to be the most shamefully embarrasing moment of my life.

Right after college, two of my very close friend wed. It was the first wedding I had ever been to, ever. My Dad didn't have a lot of friends when I was growing up, so I had never been to one. With that, I had no idea on wedding protocol, structure, etc. I had more than a few drinks and around the time toasts came up, not knowing the rules, I thought I'd toss out my congratulations and a toast. Thankfully the toast as impromtu as it was, was very good (as I have been told by others there), but the fact that I said anything has sat on me forever.

There were a few other things at the wedding that added up to me being a giant cluster f*cking ass. To start with - one of the girls that was in optometry school with Trevor drank way too much and was about to chuck on the dance floor, so I ended up carrying her into the women's bathroom to do her business. I walked in to Erin's mother and grandmother talking, and they instantly assumed that Lisa was my doing and responsibility. I left her, with vomit on my shirt, to get one of the other girls to take care of her, but once again the damage was done. I also hooked up with Erin's cousin, which didn't go over well, as she was 18 and still lived with her parent's.

We never talked again after that, and this has sat on me for ten years. I knew them both since freshman year, they introduced me to the girl I dated most of the way through college and then some (was serious enough that I flew to Spain over spring break to see her when she was intl study and our parent's were even talking about marrige), and we all basically lived together for 2 years as Erin and Chiara lived together.

Randomly Trevor was linked to me through Linkedin about 2 years ago, which refreshed this memory. It is such an embarrasing moment that it still feels like I ruined the wedding. I've been too ashamed to even try to apologize, so as not to resurrect it for them. This despite all of the stupid and horrible things I have done in my life, has weighed on me more than anything else.

Everybody must have these moments, what is your worst/most embarrasing moment that you have never been able to live down - mentally or externally?

TL;DR - Ruined friend's wedding, too ashamed to bring it up ever again, lost long-term friendship over it.

 

[Pesqueeb]

I will say this about my time in hospital. Once everybody you love has seen you laid that low, there is pretty much no shame left. It's kind of refreshing actually.

 

[Full Trucker]

Had a great time with some slightly embarrassing moments at a good friend's wedding, too self conscience to deal with it, threw away a long-term friendship over it.

ftfy.


Seriously dude, nothing you have outlined seems like you "ruined" anything, it's your own head getting in the way. Man up (to yourself moar than anything) and give those peeps a call. I'd bet One American Dollar that they'd be stoked to hear from you. The apology you DO owe them is having been an ass for not talking to them in 10 years.

 

[OGRipper]

If that's the worst of it you are either not telling the whole story or your conscious should be clear.

 

[jonKranked]

A wedding is never truly ruined unless a guest hooks up with the bride/groom.

 

[stoney]

ftfy.


Seriously dude, nothing you have outlined seems like you "ruined" anything, it's your own head getting in the way. Man up (to yourself moar than anything) and give those peeps a call. I'd bet One American Dollar that they'd be stoked to hear from you. The apology you DO owe them is having been an ass for not talking to them in 10 years.

I love/hate your clear logic sometimes.

 

[Bill in Houston]

yeah, if you call, or at least leave a PM on linked-in (if it does that) you will feel a lot better. if they don't reply, then at least you did your best to repair the relationship. If they have any hard feelings, you will not make it worse by bringing it back up.

 

[stoney]

A wedding is never truly ruined unless a guest hooks up with the bride/groom.

Yeah... I definitely did that in the past, but it was freshman year and was overlooked by the time of the wedding (obviously).

 

[jonKranked]

Yeah... I definitely did that in the past, but it was freshman year and was overlooked by the time of the wedding (obviously).

I meant actually at the wedding.

Then again, some people are down with that kind of wedding.

 

[eaterofdog]

I read that twice looking for the "ruined wedding" part. You gotta fistfight the groom and knock the cake over or something, that wasn't even second gear yet.

 

[Beef Supreme]

Look, the wedding sucked if nothing like that happened. Below is a brief list of items that did not ruin my wedding.

- Groomsman who was puking and missed most of the wedding photos
- Other groomsman who borrowed and elderly uncles cane to use as a dance prop and lost it
- Dude on mushrooms who stripped down, jumped in the pool and continued to dance with just boxers and a tie
- Other dude on mushrooms who took an overly aggressive collection effort to bribe the band to stay longer.
- Couple who hooked up in the middle of the lodge floor and were discovered by the elderly relative cleaning crew the next day.
- Couple who hooked up while their long term partners were passed out
- Late night bonfire crew who left the meadow partially burned and strewn with serving pans, cups and bottles.
- Same crew left a serving pan of BBQ chicken floating in the pool

As far as I know everybody still talks to us. We'd like to do it again for an anniversary some day.

 

[Pesqueeb]

^^^^^^^^
THAT, sounds like a party.

 

[Full Trucker]

Look, the wedding sucked if nothing like that happened. Below is a brief list of items that did not ruin my wedding.

- Groomsman who was puking and missed most of the wedding photos
- Other groomsman who borrowed and elderly uncles cane to use as a dance prop and lost it
- Dude on mushrooms who stripped down, jumped in the pool and continued to dance with just boxers and a tie
- Other dude on mushrooms who took an overly aggressive collection effort to bribe the band to stay longer.
- Couple who hooked up in the middle of the lodge floor and were discovered by the elderly relative cleaning crew the next day.
- Couple who hooked up while their long term partners were passed out
- Late night bonfire crew who left the meadow partially burned and strewn with serving pans, cups and bottles.
- Same crew left a serving pan of BBQ chicken floating in the pool

As far as I know everybody still talks to us. We'd like to do it again for an anniversary some day.

Gold, Jerry. GOLD!!!!!

I love/hate your clear logic sometimes.

You're welcome.

 

[LOOnatic]

The Hoody episode/tantrum should have been more embarrassing for you than the weaksauce at the wedding me thinks....

 

[Pesqueeb]

The Hoody episode/tantrum should have been more embarrassing for you than the weaksauce at the wedding me thinks....

 

[Jeremy R]

I will say this about my time in hospital. Once everybody you love has seen you laid that low, there is pretty much no shame left. It's kind of refreshing actually.

Yep agreed.
I remember being in the hospital after a 9 1/2 hour surgery on my face and my head was swollen up like a basketball and 3/4 of my high school was there to see me. Weak. Ha, I was layed up on morphine and this nurse walks in, sees me for the first time, Laughs and says, "Boy, it looks like a big cat got a hold of you!" And I said, "Yes, it does, but I am gonna heal up and you are gonna be that ugly forever." Morphine is the truth serum. After I said that, I remember my Mom saying, well it looks like Jeremy is getting back to normal.

 

[stoney]

The Hoody episode/tantrum should have been more embarrassing for you than the weaksauce at the wedding me thinks....

It doesn't sound as bad as it actually was me thinks. I'm kind of a bitch and it was shamefully embarrasing, but this is lightyears beyond the hoody incident. That was just funny in the end.

Thinking about it now, there were other things. Notably going to blows with the best man after he and a few others "convinced" Lisa to come hang out at their house as a post-wedding party. Girl couldn't even stand up and they were lining her up for the bang train. I'm pretty sure that piece of info wasn't passed along properly either. Lisa had no idea that any of it went down either, so she was no help in providing a second angle...

 

[blackohio]

railed out one of my friends little sisters all summer once in high school. Like obscenely destroyed it. He took my dads credit card and bought a $500 meal for us all once unbeknownst to me. score settled no regrets since lil sis was banging hot and had the best tits i'd ever seen.

I've got alot of blacked out stories, but since I dont recall them I dont much care they are there. **** regrets.

Once while going south on some sleestak I met at a bar (its amazing I don't have aids) My hand slipped off the edge of the bed and I went nose first into her pelvic bone. busted my nose. blood was everywhere. She thought I ruined her vagina. she left. I went back down to the party with a bloody nose.

 

[DirtyMike]

I will say this about my time in hospital. Once everybody you love has seen you laid that low, there is pretty much no shame left. It's kind of refreshing actually.

Yep agreed.
I remember being in the hospital after a 9 1/2 hour surgery on my face and my head was swollen up like a basketball and 3/4 of my high school was there to see me. Weak. Ha, I was layed up on morphine and this nurse walks in, sees me for the first time, Laughs and says, "Boy, it looks like a big cat got a hold of you!" And I said, "Yes, it does, but I am gonna heal up and you are gonna be that ugly forever." Morphine is the truth serum. After I said that, I remember my Mom saying, well it looks like Jeremy is getting back to normal.

This.......

 

[Ride Monzie]

Stoney, You got drunk, made a toast, had some drunk broad chuck on you, went to fists with a dude trying to train bang a time-traveler and you think you ruined things? I think you evened yourself out there. Ten years, whooo long time dude. I'd be more apologetic about the years of hang-outs missed.

I got a plethora of dirt. Ask some of the other refugees. I can copy/pasta or paste links so you can read the conversations. They're incredible. Short one: right after college I lost everything and was homeless. I'd spange all day and make enough to buy some liquor at the corner store and a few beers at the bar. I'd get wrecked out and at the end of the night find a chick to go home with, just to have a place to sleep. I got kicked out a few times, punched, forced to have sex with them a few times but mostly was able to catch the shuteye next to a really pissed off lady.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Told a sweet young thing at work that her announced pregnancy would not be a success unless the kid had webbed feet.

 

[eric strt6]

does have a woman break up with you at a party at her house then an hour later she finds you banging her sister in a sleeping bag in her back yard count?

 

[stoney]

Stoney, You got drunk, made a toast, had some drunk broad chuck on you, went to fists with a dude trying to train bang a time-traveler and you think you ruined things? I think you evened yourself out there. Ten years, whooo long time dude. I'd be more apologetic about the years of hang-outs missed.

I got a plethora of dirt. Ask some of the other refugees. I can copy/pasta or paste links so you can read the conversations. They're incredible. Short one: right after college I lost everything and was homeless. I'd spange all day and make enough to buy some liquor at the corner store and a few beers at the bar. I'd get wrecked out and at the end of the night find a chick to go home with, just to have a place to sleep. I got kicked out a few times, punched, forced to have sex with them a few times but mostly was able to catch the shuteye next to a really pissed off lady.

Dude... You're me. Only I still had my bikes and a truck that I lived in.

 

[boostindoubles]

I can remember one 'incident' in high school that is worth mentioning. It was during English class when I had to take a big deuce, thankfully the bathroom was just a door away. The bathroom and English class shared a brick wall. When it got down to business I found myself in a constipated struggle that had me grunting and working hard to get off the pot. I suppose I was grunting loudly for several minutes - solely focused on finishing the deed.

When I stepped back into the classroom I received a standing ovation.

 

[Westy]

Things I and my friends have done at wedding that the bride and groom now consider lulz.


Wedding I
-Throwing groom into the ceiling of the dance-floor during reception causing the whole ceiling to collapse.
-Hungover bridesmaid vomiting during the ceremony
-Stealing a ladder and breaking into hotel sign so it read "So I ate a big fat hairy cunt, free HBO"

Wedding II
-Drew a large penis on a passed out friends back two days before the wedding. Day before the wedding friends of the bride and groom were invited over to parents house to go swimming. Friend with large cock on his back went swimming shirtless in front of grand parents and priest with no one ever telling him.
-Night of the wedding had some ladies convince friend with cock on his back to go skinny dipping. stole his clothes and he had to run around reception area naked.

Wedding III
-Father of groom attempted to bribe hotel manager to keep bar open past midnight so out of towners could hang with bride and groom. Manager screwed him over and closed at midnight. A few of us broke into the kitchen area and stole food/beer including 5 gallon buckets of ice-cream then partied in rooms.

Wedding IV
-this one was me. Decided to go Greek and started pitching plates and glasses into the fireplace like I was Cy Young. Hotel manager was clearly upset but luckily didn't feel the need to call the law.

 

[Ride Monzie]

So, when I was living in Orlando, I had a bunch of punk rock friends (cuz I'm punx as ****) and one of my buddies girlfriend was down from Jersey to visit him. A friend and I went over to his house to meet his girl and hang out. Nothing huge just the four of us chillin'. We had two handles of vodka and a case of beer. We're all passing around a handle of vodka and drinking some beers listening to records with the tv on in the background. I decide to start just facing the vodka every time it was on me. Meanwhile, I'm still drinking beers at a pretty good clip.

Everything goes fuzzy. I remember going to the bathroom to vom. Puke up a lung and go back to drinking. Go back to the bathroom and must have passed out mid puke. When I come-to my hands are stuck behind the bowl but since I'm still drunk I can't figure it out. My friends hear the sounds of the toilet threatening to be pulled off the floor and come running in and uncuff me from the toilet laughing their asses off.

A few weeks later, I'm at the film developing place getting a roll developed. When I go through my pictures I happen to see a few of me cuffed to te toilet with a smiley face drawn on my ass. I'm sure the developer got a kick out of that one. The picture is still floating around somewhere. And, when my mom came to visit me one weekend, my asshat friend shows her the ****ing picture. Great. She found it funny though.

Another one:
In college, a friend of mine and I were fed up with all the "Christmas in July" ******** (I think it's a thing unique to FL, don't ask). So we decided to have a Halloween in July party. Basically an excuse to dress in costumes and get faced. We lined her apartment with trash bags and hung Halloween decorations all over the place. Got a keg and some liquor for the party and waited.

People were coming over in droves around 9:45pm and we were instigating a large amount of alcohol consumption. As usual, I was spearheading the "drink super fast and don't stop until you're rocked" movement.

I remember puking over the railing of her fourth story apartment at some point, there's pictures somewhere. Kept drinking like a champ and per usual my memory fades around the time the liquor is running low.

Here's what happened as related to me the next day. I was puking my face off wasted. Some folks at the party took my shirt off since I had apparently puked all over it while slumped in the corner probably close to alcohol poisoning, they then had to get two or three people to carry my dead weight to the bathroom and put me in the tub, pants and shoes still attached. Turned on the shower and couldn't seem to get the temp to reasonable--it alternated between scalding hot and freezing cold (I remember this part). I pass out again in the tub. My friend, being the punx that we are, decided to "help" me out. He raided the pantry and came back with an impressive array of condiments. There was ketchup, mustard, mayo, soy sauce, hot sauce, and I'm sure a slew of other goodies. Needless to say, the other folks took offence to this and yelled at him. He was all offended and said that that's who the **** we are and he'd expect me to do the same to him if the situation was reversed (I remember bits of this too). Back on goes the water to rinse me off. Great.

I wake up at some later time sort of rested but sober-ish and mostly clean of condiments. I knock on my friends bedroom door and ask for a blanket; I was cold from all the water and the A/C being on. She hands me a sweater and says it's the best she can do. I put it on and fall asleep on the trash bag and booze covered floor; I didn't want to ruin her couch. I then wake up even later and drive home to clean myself up and get to class that night. Good times.


These are copy/pasta from elsewhere. Stoney, sound like you?

 

[stoney]

These are copy/pasta from elsewhere. Stoney, sound like you?

Pretty damn close. My history pre-2006 has been wiped from the archives, thankfully. Otherwise there would be some pretty good stuff starting from sophmore year of college through until I met my wife. Five years of debauchery, with no shame,fully documented on the internet. Needless to say, I could never be a politician, even if I wanted to be one...

 

[stoney]

You're welcome.

Email is off. A weight does feel relieved, but the response is the next determiner of the remainder.

 

[Ride Monzie]

I have one involving attempted suicide, not sure if it would fly here though...what do you think?

 

[eric strt6]

I have one involving attempted suicide, not sure if it would fly here though...what do you think?

thinking is not allowed in the lounge. when in doubt don't

 

[canadmos]

Sh1t my pants at one of my old jobs once. I've never ended a conversation quicker.

 

[Westy]

Sh1t my pants at one of my old jobs once. I've never ended a conversation quicker.

I've worked with enough unhealthy old guys to know that the stench is a perfect time to call for a 20 minute break.

 

[stoney]

I have one involving attempted suicide, not sure if it would fly here though...what do you think?

Your call. A thread here a few years ago from a dude who was about to cross that line saved his life. That thread had a LOT of personal experiences.

 

[Ride Monzie]

Oh, it's not that I need help not crossing that line; I will when the time comes. It's that I had a rather funny--to me, now--experience with an ex. Here it is (copy/pasta some parentheticals make no sense):

It's winter time. Early December to be approximate. It was the company I worked for at the times Christmas party, the first one for this company I would be attending since I had just gotten hired that summer. My then girlfriend (a different one than all previously mentioned ones (here on referred to as M)) and I are getting ready to go and I was kind of nervous since I feel weird about being drunk in front of my boss/company owner. I make the stipulation that if I get too uncomfortable we have to leave.

We arrive at the pizza spot--they're closed on Monday's and my boss rented it out for that night so as not to interfere with normal business--and there's a buffet of pizza and pasta and we get tickets for two free liquor drinks each and there's free beers and sodas. Cool deal. M, not being a big stoner isn't high but I am and the beers are giving a nice cross-buzz. She also wasn't a very big drinker and was subsequently a light weight--lucky girl. We all sit at a table and eat our fill and chit-chat everyone has brought a guest and there's a bunch of people. After food we all are just milling about but M and I are sitting at a table and talking to only each other. I'm really drunk at this point and so is M. We mutually decide to leave when karaoke starts. It starts two or three beers after that.

We leave and walk back to her place though mine's closer; her's was nicer. Once inside, we both put on pajamas and get ready for bed. I'm in the kitchen for a little while while M's in the bedroom. I was doing dishes I believe. I finish and head back into the bedroom. That's when **** nosedives.

M is in the middle of the bed and is depositing pills in a rather showy way into her mouth from a pile in her hand. I dash the five feet to her bed, grab her wrist and shake them out of her hand and into the bed. Her and I are wrestling at this point for the pills. "What are you taking and why?!" I growled through clenched teeth. "it's Zoloft. And everyone would be better without me. My parent don't care about me, they have a new baby to take care of and my little sister, they don't need me." I try to counter with some reason but there's no convincing crazy. My next move is brilliant. I tell her that if she was really trying to kill herself she wouldn't be just dropping them in her mouth, she'd be swallowing them by the fistful. I then say something to the effect of "You wanna see how someone who doesn't care about their life takes pills?" I then scoop up all of the pills on the comforter--about 20 or so--and swallowed them. I had to chew a bit and choked for a second pretty good. And she gets sick.

She runs to the bathroom and is starting to puke. I held her hair back and she could barely hold herself up. It took a bit but she stopped. So I ran and got her some water and crackers. She slept off and on for a while on the bathroom floor. Eventually, the drugs started to creep up on me.

I shook her awake and was whispered "Baby, you gotta get up and get yourself together. The drugs just hit me and I'm gonna need your help." she sat up and asked what to do. I told her that I was going to be sick and she just needed to make sure I puke it all up, keep me from falling over and keep my head from going in the toilet. She said okay and I told her it was really important to make sure I was puking nothing but water before she let me stop and rest. Then she asked if I was gonna die. I said, "No, I got bills to pay." then I started puking, hard. And I fade in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. I was late for work the next day.

 

[stoney]

Wow. That's one way to handle things.

 

[Ride Monzie]

Not the most intelligent way either.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Found on reddit, seems relevant.

 

[Bill in Houston]

Found on reddit, seems relevant.

Winner. End thread.

 

[stoney]

Winner. End thread.

This.