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Parent Monkey Wisdom?

skibunny24

Enthusiastic Receiver of Reputation
Jun 16, 2010
3,281
585
Renton, WA
do you have hair? maybe time you grow it long and get him his bicycle of choice he is stressed teachers know he will be tested soon enough I have been thinking maybe it is a gremlin of you per chance not accepting as the family you make rather a family he is introduced too. Bring your dang kind bicycle riding far away and ignore him get him a helmet of his choice without bias or ignorance from yourself. Allow him to use whatever you have and maybe use incense because that smell is empowering. Chances are your kid is smarter then you ever can be then no way you can ever let him getting a tattoo is not allowed, your kid is fine. Read a lot as I am, just let him pick out a helmet if its bike is okay then if not make sure you both learn how air goes in the tires. Very important.
Ok, I think I got the best advice here, and I've deciphered the PSP code:

Give the kid a bike & helmet (check, he has multiple of both)
Let him get lost in the kids and do drugs while riding said bike with said bike & helmet (ummm)
He is super smart, let him read lots (check)
I'm not sure whether or not we're supposed to give him tattoos, so I guess we'll just stick with the temporary variety for now :)

So combine this with the wearing out theorys of others and the most viable solution seems to be to take the kid mountain biking every day. Um, OK! :D

The key there is to make sure he has food in his belly before and after to avoid the wrath of a hungry tired child. He is certainly a million times worse if either of those is in effect.

So I did call the nurses' hotline for our insurance to discuss, and they suggested setting an appointment with his regular doctor to discuss. I think we'll wait another couple weeks and take several of your ideas into account as well as some from the daycare lady and my neighbor who works at the school. We'll keep y'all updated :)
 
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kazlx

Patches O'Houlihan
Aug 7, 2006
6,985
1,957
Tustin, CA
I definitely agree with the run him ragged approach and see if that helps. Might be the dog chewing up the furniture because he's bored effect...
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
19,836
8,433
Nowhere Man!
What size are the Raptors in your local parks? Give the kid a frisbee and a fishing net and tell him he can't come home until he gets one... That will tucker him out....
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,928
24
Over your shoulder whispering
OK. I'm gonna try to be serious with a sprinkle of sarcasm.

1. If you've never spanked your kid, why on god's earth would a hyper, energetic boy EVER mind you? Spanking is not beating. It is a punishment, not purgatory.
Try this ONCE: Walk outside and get a 12" or so limb that is green inside. 3 swipes on his butt. Once the tears subside, EXPLAIN WHY YOU JUST DID WHAT YOU DID. Make hime repeat it back to you because a child has to state what it was they DID WRONG to be punished.

2. Try other less strict punishments for a day or two. If it escalates, go back to the switch once more. Only once. Put him in time out after. Tell him once he calms down what he did and how to avoid the punishment next time. Make him tell you again.

3. Wait a few days to go for it one last time. This time, advise him he has to get the switch. Take him outside and help him pick it out. This is your last shot. Once he picks it out, he thinks you'll back off. You have to spank him with it one last time. This is him having to take active involvement in his own punishment. If after explaining and him repeating back to you, he keeps acting out...know that you're done. You're not going to get to the kid that way.

I'm being dead serious...if you've not taken a switch to your kids butt, you may not love your kid enough to intervene in his life when he really screws it all up!!! You'll be the dad I just talked to last month who isn't phased by his teenager (on his 6th at fault accident) wound up on a breathing tube in intensive care. Numb and non-chalant.

Any horse crap psychologist who tries to tell you all kids can be reached by non-corporal means is in denial. I've got one daughter who thinks you're gonna beat her quite literally to death if you tell her she's gonna be punished. The other would do her best to not shed a tear if God himself whipped her with a telephone poll.


Two quick punishment experiments that worked wonders at comedic times.

1. Oldest tried to be a screamer at one point. It was 20 degrees out. So I put her on the porch, closed the door and watched. Had to do it 3 times in 3 days before she decided screaming in the cold sucked. That was after two months of the crap.

2. Youngest leaves every drawer in the dressers open. Made her do 5 push ups for every drawer. Misery at first. Now, she crushes push ups and bounces into the room with glee if she forgot to close a drawer and will tell on herself.

Last lesson I've learned from having kids...a lot of the time, it's just bad parenting. :D (semi-sarcastic...nah, dead serious).
 

Beef Supreme

Turbo Monkey
Oct 29, 2010
1,434
73
Hiding from the stupid
OK. I'm gonna try to be serious with a sprinkle of sarcasm.

1. If you've never spanked your kid, why on god's earth would a hyper, energetic boy EVER mind you? Spanking is not beating. It is a punishment, not purgatory.
Try this ONCE: Walk outside and get a 12" or so limb that is green inside. 3 swipes on his butt. Once the tears subside, EXPLAIN WHY YOU JUST DID WHAT YOU DID. Make hime repeat it back to you because a child has to state what it was they DID WRONG to be punished.

2. Try other less strict punishments for a day or two. If it escalates, go back to the switch once more. Only once. Put him in time out after. Tell him once he calms down what he did and how to avoid the punishment next time. Make him tell you again.

3. Wait a few days to go for it one last time. This time, advise him he has to get the switch. Take him outside and help him pick it out. This is your last shot. Once he picks it out, he thinks you'll back off. You have to spank him with it one last time. This is him having to take active involvement in his own punishment. If after explaining and him repeating back to you, he keeps acting out...know that you're done. You're not going to get to the kid that way.

I'm being dead serious...if you've not taken a switch to your kids butt, you may not love your kid enough to intervene in his life when he really screws it all up!!! You'll be the dad I just talked to last month who isn't phased by his teenager (on his 6th at fault accident) wound up on a breathing tube in intensive care. Numb and non-chalant.

Any horse crap psychologist who tries to tell you all kids can be reached by non-corporal means is in denial. I've got one daughter who thinks you're gonna beat her quite literally to death if you tell her she's gonna be punished. The other would do her best to not shed a tear if God himself whipped her with a telephone poll.


Two quick punishment experiments that worked wonders at comedic times.

1. Oldest tried to be a screamer at one point. It was 20 degrees out. So I put her on the porch, closed the door and watched. Had to do it 3 times in 3 days before she decided screaming in the cold sucked. That was after two months of the crap.

2. Youngest leaves every drawer in the dressers open. Made her do 5 push ups for every drawer. Misery at first. Now, she crushes push ups and bounces into the room with glee if she forgot to close a drawer and will tell on herself.

Last lesson I've learned from having kids...a lot of the time, it's just bad parenting. :D (semi-sarcastic...nah, dead serious).
Dang, dude. At least threaten to give them to the Mexicans first.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,226
10,073
I have no idea where I am
Please keep in mind that Bizutch is an Appalachian Hillbilly and "gettin the switch" has a long standing tradition among mountain folk. My Dad used to talk about that a lot when I was growing up. And yes, I come from a long line of Hillbillies my self.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
21,226
10,073
I have no idea where I am
Oh, and Skibunny is there any chance that it could be diet related ? We had a kid in our neighborhood that would flip the fvck out if he got into anything with sugar and red dye. He would run around like a bobcat on fire smoking crack.
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,928
24
Over your shoulder whispering
You guys are a special kind of delicate. A switch is just a small, flexible twig not much longer than a pen. It stings their rear end for 5-10 minutes at most. Insanely tame and less wounding than a mis-aimed hand on a hip or lower back.

You must all picture me with a 6' long fishing rod and the wrist flick of Zoro?

You're a bunch of .....
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,582
9,592
We make our kids do push-ups. Lots and lots of push-ups. We even stopped the van on the way home from a trip and made them do push-ups in a gravel pull-out on the side of the highway.

It may not help but it sure does my heart good to see them doing a $hitload of push-ups. :rofl:
this post is still awesome.
 

kickstand

Turbo Monkey
Sep 18, 2009
3,441
392
Fenton, MI
Update?

Sounds to me like the kid needs more structure, more discipline, and more sever punishments for acting out. That, or as mentioned, could have something like asbergers, all that other nonsense (adhd, etc) I don't "believe" in, but there are cases where the poor kid could just be wired wrong.
 

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
65,673
12,722
In a van.... down by the river

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,805
2,045
.:585:.
Just send the kids outside all day - they'll find $hit to burn, break, and otherwise create mayhem. That crap is all over the place.
:stupid:

Back when we all were younger we had to find things to break and burn... now the kids just have that stuff handed to them. These damn kids are spoiled now a days!

Just like when I was younger we used to get in trouble at local ski areas for building our own jumps and now they have full terrain parks just laid out for them to jump/slide on all day.

#i'malmostmiddleagedrant
 

dan-o

Turbo Monkey
Jun 30, 2004
6,499
2,805
While over-protection is definitely a modern problem... the idea of creating a "dangerous" playground is retarded. Just send the kids outside all day - they'll find $hit to burn, break, and otherwise create mayhem. That crap is all over the place.
.
Exactly. Just leave them the fvck alone and 'adventure' will spontaneously appear.
We were kicked out the door at 8am and weren't allowed inside again until supper.
 

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,582
9,592
When I was 3 I had a record player and a Light Brite...my kid has an iPad and can successfully place every country in unmarked maps of South America and Africa. This current generation of 20somethings is our last generation of complete and utter dumb asses. It’s a bold new world people. Now learn to **** in the potty or I’m taking your iPad away
dadholes
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
6
[old white guy warning]


i've got a rager against misguided & mal-sourced esteem building, just to be clear
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,443
1,969
Front Range, dude...
i don't recall ever being hit by my parents......but my older brother did put my head through a window and my younger brother did hit me over the head with a fireplace poker.
You sound like one of my brothers...hmm...

Your Mom ever hit you the Dr Scholls sandal? Or come at you with the steel ruler?

My older kid is 21 and a fvcking dip****. I love him like no other, but he has turned into an a$$wipe 1st Class. Bad tattoos, peircings, follows ICP around. Full on trailer park trash these days. Graduated HS with a 3.85, got accepted everywhere he applied and is doing nothing. All to get back at his Mum and me for divorcing. BUT, he isnt calling me for money and has only been arrested once that I know of. Was a wonderful, smart handsome and well spoken kid til he hit about 15, then the wheels fell off. Point is...I am hoping he is "in a phase..." just as I hope Lucas is Skibunny.

From one frustrated parent to another...keep you cool, keep doing what you know is right and avoid the pop psychologist bullsh!t out there...
 
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cecil

Turbo Monkey
Jun 3, 2008
2,064
2,345
with the voices in my head
My son carried on like that from 7 till 16 when he was 14 he posted on facebook "my dad is gay he sucks c*ck" then when I confronted him he said "dad I'll tell my teacher you hit me and you will go to jail"

Now at 18 he is polite considerate scored very well on airforce test and is leaving July 8

Show him you love him
Teach him there are consequences for actions
Wear him out get him running, swimming, biking something to use up all that energy inside


If you have a energetic dog and you keep it locked in one room all day it will go out of its mind

Run him into the ground with physical activity, keep him busy, that releases endorphins and he will feel better, set goals and help him acomplish them


Parenting is not easy