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Parenting Help

Konabumm

Konaboner
Jun 13, 2003
4,381
77
Hollywood, Maryland, United States
It's a little weird asking for parenting help on RM, but I think most monkey parents will actually have some good advice.

So yesterday I took my son to BMX for the first time (he is 6) on his first practice run he took a pretty good digger. He was really scared after that and didn't want to ride anymore, but he did want to stay and watch. I kept asking him if he was sure that he didn't want to try again and he kept saying no. I don't want to be a pushy dad so I told him I was really proud of him for trying and I hope he will try it again.

I really wanted him to get back on the bike and try, you know the face your fear thing. At the same time I didn't know how hard to push him. Today I'm really conflicted - not sure if I did the right thing.

question 1: did I go about this the right way?

question 2: how can I push him towards trying it again?

Thanks
 

Jim Mac

MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN
May 21, 2004
6,364
281
the middle east of NY
1: Yes, you did the right thing.

2. Don't push, pull instead. Create conditions that want to entice him to go back. Go watch some races together, cheer on a local kid, go for a ride together, compliment him on his skill or a new skill he took on. For example, even when my 4 year old took a digger recently, I complimented him on trying to ride one handed. He held off on riding for a day or so, but when he got back on, I complimented him again for his tenacity (obviously not using that exact word...).
 

Potroast88

YouTube Boy
Jan 18, 2004
2,835
4
Bomb City
You absolutely did the right thing. My 8 yr old daughter has been racing for almost 3 years and she has taken a couple of pretty hard spills. It definitely takes the wind out of their sails for a little while, but they'll get back out there.
I ALWAYS tell my daughter how proud I am of her, even if she finishes last. I tell her to do her best and just have fun.
I hope your son keeps at it. BMX is a great sport and there are a lot of really good role models for the kids.
 

Potroast88

YouTube Boy
Jan 18, 2004
2,835
4
Bomb City
And you should definitely get a bike and start riding with him. It's so much easier to coach them when you are on the track with them. Plus, they think it's pretty cool when Dad is out there instead of standing on the sidelines yelling at them to pedal.
 

Konabumm

Konaboner
Jun 13, 2003
4,381
77
Hollywood, Maryland, United States
Great advice guys, thank you. I'm planning on trying the cruiser class. I didn't want to do anything our first time out so I could concentrate on him. I'm going to give him a few days then get the bikes out again and go for a fun ride.
 

kickstand

Turbo Monkey
Sep 18, 2009
3,444
392
Fenton, MI
I'm gonna go the opposite direction here. My 6 year old son has bmx'd for 2 years now, and my step daughter (also 6) has bmx'd one full season.

I never let them end the day on a bad note, they both know that is my rule, they both understand and accept it. If you crash you have to at least go back out and do another practice lap unless you are injured, Hurt and injured are different. After that practice lap you can call it a day, but you always have to end on a good note.

If they are crashing because they are tired that is different.

I don't "push" hard, don't care what place they finish, don't scream and yell at them for a bad finish etc. I cheer them on, tell them to have fun, good attitudes, etc. But I always make them get back on the horse.

Are you racing crusier class? If not, you should be.

"My dad and I race BMX"
reminds me I really need to get a bmx bike to race with them.....
 

TreeSaw

Mama Monkey
Oct 30, 2003
16,689
472
Dancin' over rocks n' roots!
1: Yes, you did the right thing.

2. Don't push, pull instead. Create conditions that want to entice him to go back. Go watch some races together, cheer on a local kid, go for a ride together, compliment him on his skill or a new skill he took on. For example, even when my 4 year old took a digger recently, I complimented him on trying to ride one handed. He held off on riding for a day or so, but when he got back on, I complimented him again for his tenacity (obviously not using that exact word...).
:stupid: Syd has taken a few good hits and we always compliment her on her skills and she comes back.
 

JRogers

talks too much
Mar 19, 2002
3,789
1
Claremont, CA
I really wanted him to get back on the bike and try, you know the face your fear thing. At the same time I didn't know how hard to push him. Today I'm really conflicted - not sure if I did the right thing.
I'm not sure how well facing fears in that way works for 6 year olds. In fact, I'm not sure it works that well with adults either. First time I took my wife on an mtb ride, she ate it pretty good. For lots of reasons, it would have been a bad move for me to ask to do the section again or otherwise keep the ride going. If I stacked hard and didn't want to ride more, I don't think I'd want my parents of friends to be telling me I have to get back out there. I think that's even more the case for children and people doing a new activity. In both of those cases, though, the "pull" tactic would work much better. Positive reinforcement is always best.