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ParentMonkey: Baby coming! What should I look forward to?

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,161
153
Six Shooter Junction
Tested + for group B strep. IV antibiotics were needed to stem the risk of infection. (meningitis, etc)

One day I will post up the whole labor timeline. It was fvcking brutal.

Not foolproof as our first little one spent the first week in the hospital hooked up to an IV for antibiotics -- the second one too, but he got staph somehow.
 

Arkayne

I come bearing GIFs
May 10, 2005
3,738
15
SoCal
So they just yanked the damn thing out, eh? Anyway, kids with missing teeth are cuter.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
I've never been more afraid of getting a woman (wife) pregnant in my entire life.

Having a child is a fantastic way to encourage the proper use of birth control
 

Arkayne

I come bearing GIFs
May 10, 2005
3,738
15
SoCal
uhh, what?
Ohhh, Tom Lykis, a famous Radio Personality in Cali.

"The show's most well-known feature is "Leykis 101," in which he purports to teach men "how to get laid" while expending less time, money, and effort." and the importance of birth control.
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
My wife is at the movie theater with our son right now... seeing some chick flick.

Make sure your wife gets out of the house regularly or she'll go insane.
And take the kid? Shouldn't you be the one to say, I'll watch the baby so you can regain what little sanity you have left? Why would you let her take a newborn to the movies? Nothing better than having a screaming kid in the theater. Actually it's almost as good as the screaming kid on the airplane.

I love it............. "Make sure your wife gets out of the house regularly". However make sure she brings the kid with her:disgust1::stosh::huh::ban:
 

Red Rabbit

Picky Pooper
Jan 27, 2007
2,715
0
Colorado
I am never going to be a strong enough person to raise a kid.

God there is so much work.
So little sleep
So much crap.
So much money.

Thank god you people are interested in breeding.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
And take the kid? Shouldn't you be the one to say, I'll watch the baby so you can regain what little sanity you have left? Why would you let her take a newborn to the movies? Nothing better than having a screaming kid in the theater. Actually it's almost as good as the screaming kid on the airplane.

I love it............. "Make sure your wife gets out of the house regularly". However make sure she brings the kid with her:disgust1::stosh::huh::ban:
If my wife wanted to go see a movie right now, she would simply have to take the baby. She is breast feeding and there is no way I could feed the kid unless we decided to go with bottle feeding.

Which I would be down with.


If you are already bottle feeding the kid and you didn't man up and offer to take care of baby while she went out...then yes, may the Ban Hammer fall squarely on your head.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
And take the kid? Shouldn't you be the one to say, I'll watch the baby so you can regain what little sanity you have left? Why would you let her take a newborn to the movies? Nothing better than having a screaming kid in the theater. Actually it's almost as good as the screaming kid on the airplane.

I love it............. "Make sure your wife gets out of the house regularly". However make sure she brings the kid with her:disgust1::stosh::huh::ban:
Hello stalking c0ckmuncher.
If my wife wanted to go see a movie right now, she would simply have to take the baby. She is breast feeding and there is no way I could feed the kid unless we decided to go with bottle feeding.

Which I would be down with.


If you are already bottle feeding the kid and you didn't man up and offer to take care of baby while she went out...then yes, may the Ban Hammer fall squarely on your head.
for the record, she wanted to take our son -and- she went to a 2:00pm showing mid-week.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
for the record, she wanted to take our son -and- she went to a 2:00pm showing mid-week.
That was her hinting that she wanted YOU to take the day off from work to spend time with your child. You missed all the cues.

FAIL.






:biggrin:
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
That was her hinting that she wanted YOU to take the day off from work to spend time with your child. You missed all the cues.

FAIL.
Hey, I spend time with my son. Did you know that you can bring an infant to the strip club?
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
If my wife wanted to go see a movie right now, she would simply have to take the baby. She is breast feeding and there is no way I could feed the kid unless we decided to go with bottle feeding.

Which I would be down with.


If you are already bottle feeding the kid and you didn't man up and offer to take care of baby while she went out...then yes, may the Ban Hammer fall squarely on your head.
Most women would pump and freeze the milk just for such an occasion. Feeding breast milk out of a bottle is a-ok:thumb: That also allows the wife to sleep at night and you can get up for the late night feedings.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Most women would pump and freeze the milk just for such an occasion. Feeding breast milk out of a bottle is a-ok:thumb: That also allows the wife to sleep at night and you can get up for the late night feedings.
Well we have not bought any bottles yet. We probably will though.

We definitely want to freeze some for emergency storage too, since we live in earthquake country.

Human breast milk is crazy stuff. You know it can be stored at room temp for 10-12 hours?

Frozen it will last for months.
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
Hello stalking c0ckmuncher.


for the record, she wanted to take our son -and- she went to a 2:00pm showing mid-week.
A 2:00pm showing on a Friday means she had no choice. Man up, or in your case estrogen up and tell your wife to go out with her GF's that night while you watch the offspring.

BTW I'm not stalking, I just love to read all your lame ass comments:thumb:
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
Well we have not bought any bottles yet. We probably will though.

We definitely want to freeze some for emergency storage too, since we live in earthquake country.

Human breast milk is crazy stuff. You know it can be stored at room temp for 10-12 hours?

Frozen it will last for months.
Buy several different types, babies can be finicky. It may take a few before they find one they like. Well, like I said above, not just for emergencies, but enables your wife to have a break and still receive breast milk.

I had no clue it could be stored like that.


Thank goodness those days are over with, to be honest I don't miss it in the least bit.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Looking at these. Pretty cool, the whole top of the bottle is like a boob.

Heck, I might get one for coffee.

 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Looking at these. Pretty cool, the whole top of the bottle is like a boob.

Heck, I might get one for coffee.
When my boy wasn't nursing, my wife's production dropped, so we had to supplement with formula... the Enfamil glass bottles take standard caps. I can't find glass baby bottles at any local shop, which I think is odd, so I kept a bunch of the formula bottles.

If you can't find glass, but want it, you could always dump the formula if she's producing enough.
 

SPINTECK

Turbo Monkey
Oct 16, 2005
1,370
0
abc
I love my kids more than anything, but when Julie & I see a mom and her newborn, we both always give a sigh of relief. :cheers:
were you young when you had your kids?? I had my fist at 34, so I got all my runnin' out my system and can enjoy the boring stuff.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
When my boy wasn't nursing, my wife's production dropped, so we had to supplement with formula... the Enfamil glass bottles take standard caps. I can't find glass baby bottles at any local shop, which I think is odd, so I kept a bunch of the formula bottles.

If you can't find glass, but want it, you could always dump the formula if she's producing enough.
Noted!

We have a 6 pack that the midwife's office gave us.


RM needs a dedicated parenting section. I mean, we have a fvcking Mac n Cheese/Firearms forum but no section for demon rearing?

WTF?
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
were you young when you had your kids?? I had my fist at 34, so I got all my runnin' out my system and can enjoy the boring stuff.
My first at 21 and my second at 38.


Yes...I am out of my fvcking mind.

:D
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
were you young when you had your kids?? I had my fist at 34, so I got all my runnin' out my system and can enjoy the boring stuff.
33 with my son and my daughter was born on my B-day when I turned 37. I too got my running around out of the way, but still glad it's over. Now that they are a little older 8 & 4 (soon to be 5) they are such a blast to hang out with. I'm having so much fun. Been coaching my son's Baseball team which is a lot of work, but loads of fun.
 

SPINTECK

Turbo Monkey
Oct 16, 2005
1,370
0
abc
33 with my son and my daughter was born on my B-day when I turned 37. I too got my running around out of the way, but still glad it's over. Now that they are a little older 8 & 4 (soon to be 5) they are such a blast to hang out with. I'm having so much fun. Been coaching my son's Baseball team which is a lot of work, but loads of fun.
Cool. Part of me can't wait until they're older, so I could at least mow the lawn w/out scheduling it. But I force myself to enjoy every moment b/c I know it won't last forever. Coaching sounds cool, except for those few super competitive parents.
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
Enfamil glass bottles take standard caps. I can't find glass baby bottles at any local shop, which I think is odd, so I kept a bunch of the formula bottles.

If you can't find glass, but want it, you could always dump the formula if she's producing enough.
That's what we used, works pretty slick. Everything is plastic now a days, however I think Baby's R Us sells them in glass, well I know they used to.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
I think we got lucky cuz my boy can take a bottle or the nipple with no issue. Apparently nipple confusion is a concern?
 

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,119
378
Bay Area, California
Cool. Part of me can't wait until they're older, so I could at least mow the lawn w/out scheduling it. But I force myself to enjoy every moment b/c I know it won't last forever. Coaching sounds cool, except for those few super competitive parents.
We're lucky, our team is like the Bad News Bears, so no high expectations. Actually we are having a winning season which is great since me and the other coach really have no clue how to coach a bunch of 7-8 year old's. It's kinda like herding cats.

I'll be 42 next month, it's definitely gets harder as you get older.

I do look back at pics when they were babies and may miss it for a second when I realize how big they are getting, but then I see the new parents and forget all about it.;)
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Cool. Part of me can't wait until they're older, so I could at least mow the lawn w/out scheduling it.
:think:

You're missing the point. THE KIDS mow the lawn. You schedule yourself with a beer on the porch to observe.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Apparently nipple confusion is a concern?
Maybe, maybe not. We are finally on the right track with the boy nursing well and gaining weight so we don't wanna fvck with it right now.

Bottles later.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
Maybe, maybe not. We are finally on the right track with the boy nursing well and gaining weight so we don't wanna fvck with it right now.

Bottles later.
Didn't mean to imply anything, you two are doing great and I happy your boy is doing well.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
For new dad's, here's an idea for mom's day for your wife. Make a mom's day card on construction paper and with kid's paint -- non-toxic, washable -- sign it with an imprint of your new baby's hand, feet, butt, whatever :)