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Parentmonkey: Birthday Parties

stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
Having a child our family has been invited to a number of birthday parties over the past year+. Some of the parties are for children of couples who my wife and I are friends with. Some of the parties are for children of my wife's fellow employees.

I really don't enjoy attending them in fact I hate spending $50 every other weekend for b-day parties. We had a b-day party for my daughter for her first b-day but from here on out we're not going to have "parties" where we invite adult friends to and the ones we do have will be small.

We have a party this Saturday for my wife's work friend's child. I assumed I wasn't going to but you know what "assuming" does.

WTF? Things are tight right now so affording the gifts become and issue but aside from that do you guys and girls feel responsible to go? When should I feel responsible and when shouldn't I?


Any tips on affording gifts? How to get out of it? What is proper etiquette?
 
binary visions

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,100
1,150
NC
"I'm sorry, but I do not wish to spend money and time on your snot-nosed brat in return for a slice of crappy cake and some Kool-Aid."
 
moff_quigley

moff_quigley

Why don't you have a seat over there?
Jan 27, 2005
4,402
2
Poseurville
In some circles kids' B-Day parties have become an unspoken competition between the parents. Trying to outdo each other with gift bags for the little brats and etc. I don't remember my parents or my friends' parents giving gift bags to any of the kids that came to our parties. We don't travel in that circle anyway....

Sarah got quite a few invitations to parties during her time at pre-school. I think she only went to a couple where my wife really knew the other Mom. Otherwise, the invite just went into the trash.

As far as our child's own parties...they have been strictly family and close friends affairs. I'm sure in the next year or so we'll have a kids party, but it will be pretty low key..."no presents please", no gift bags, no mini-concert by Hannah Montana. Cake, ice cream and lots of games and stuff should be good time.
 
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jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,192
13,339
Portland, OR
$50? You know my daughters party is next weekend at Chuck E. Cheese...

We usually spend about $15 on a gift unless it's for someone important (I gave my best friend $100 for baby needs at the shower and will do the same when his son turns 1). Last year my daughter got her quad, so she didn't give 2 sh!ts about anything anyone else brought.

We declined the kid across the streets party last weekend because some of the "mean kids" from school were going to be there.
 
Wumpus

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,161
153
Six Shooter Junction
$50 on a birthday present? Really? Unless they are family $10 is max.


Honestly, if we had one I would rather no one brought presents as the boys already have too many toys/things.
 
geargrrl

geargrrl

Turbo Monkey
May 2, 2002
2,379
1
pnw -dry side
moff_quigley said:
In some circles kids' B-Day parties have become an unspoken competition between the parents. Trying to outdo each other with gift bags for the little brats and etc. I don't remember my parents or my friends' parents giving gift bags to any of the kids that came to our parties. We don't travel in that circle anyway....
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I have a good story on this one. You guys must know by know that our family is heavily into whitewater; we have a garage full of various rafts and craft. For my older son's 13th birthday, we took a boat load of boys and dads paddle rafting on a local class 3 run. This was as easy as blow up the boat, throw in some lifejackets and paddles, gas up the rig and go boating. We had a blast - water fights, picnic BBQ afterwards etc. It cost us a tank of gas ( this was almost 10 years ago) and a bag of burgers.

I had a mom get really snotty with me afterwards. "you've ruined it for the rest of us now". WTF, I had all the gear in my garage ferchrissakes. I guess paddle rafting did kind of outdo the climbing gym or laser tag, and it was a heck of a lot cheaper for us too. Whatever.
 
stevew

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,590
9,599
$50 for a gift?

Who the fvck are you trying to impress?

Kids like any kind of toy as long as they can break it.

Gift card. 10-15 dollars. done.
 
stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
stevew said:
$50 for a gift?

Who the fvck are you trying to impress?

Kids like any kind of toy as long as they can break it.

Gift card. 10-15 dollars. done.
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Typically my wife spends $40-50 and that's about par with the other gifts.
 
stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
Aside from the money when should I feel obligated and when shouldn't I?

None of the families we know try to "out do" each other with bigger and better parties.
 
stevew

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,590
9,599
It sounds like you are taking all the fun out of being a parent.
 
TN

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
14,301
1,353
Jimtown, CO
Stosh is now the resident Yuppie Monkey. $50 a gift!? How did I miss that?

Good God. I shoulda been an architect.
 
stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
I Are Baboon said:
You should show up completely hammered and pass out on the cake, kind of like Will Farrell in Old School (only he was drugged).
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We had some girl do that at our daughter's b-day party. Minus the cake fall though.

She was hitting on my married friends and unmarried women.
 
stevew

stevew

resident influencer
Sep 21, 2001
40,590
9,599
stosh said:
Check back - when you know what you're talking about.
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Who is asking the questions?

If you don't want to go to a party because you don't want to spend the money, don't fvcking go.

10-15 dollar gift card to a toy store/bookstore is fine.

If you want to over think sh!t and bitch and whine about it.....enjoy your life.
 
stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
TN said:
Stosh is now the resident Yuppie Monkey. $50 a gift!? How did I miss that?

Good God. I shoulda been an architect.
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I was complaining that it costs so much I wasn't brianHCM bragging.....
 
Arkayne

Arkayne

I come bearing GIFs
May 10, 2005
3,738
15
SoCal
Got a jigsaw, wood and some paint? Make him a letter or something. Or pick up an unfinished wood frame from Michaels/Art Store and pretty it up. In fact, get a picture of the kid and put it inside the frame. Homemade stuff works the AWWWE factor (which is good for the moment) but it usually ends up in a bin. At least it was cheap and you had a gift.

Or make a tshirt? You'll have enough paint left over for the next 10 bday's.

tip: use lead based paint and grape sized decor.
 
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geargrrl

geargrrl

Turbo Monkey
May 2, 2002
2,379
1
pnw -dry side
stosh said:
No but most of them are young (1-2yrs old) kids and she typically buys clothes so it adds up quick I guess.
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All I can say is I'm flabbergasted. You can get $5 shirts at any Target.

I'm a cheapskate by nature. Maybe this is why I'm two months from mortgage freedom - hate spending money on crap like birthday presents for other people's kids.
 
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,192
13,339
Portland, OR
stevew said:
$50 for a gift?

Who the fvck are you trying to impress?

Kids like any kind of toy as long as they can break it.
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One year my wife and I got our neighbor a big red ball (about 2' diameter) for $4 for his 2nd birthday. He didn't touch any of the other toys the whole time and had a blast.
 
$tinkle

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
6
jimmydean said:
One year my wife and I got our neighbor a big red ball (about 2' diameter) for $4 for his 2nd birthday. He didn't touch any of the other toys the whole time and had a blast.
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as a rule, i don't allow my daughter to make retarded friends.
 
stosh

stosh

Darth Bailer
Jul 20, 2001
22,238
393
NY
geargrrl said:
Maybe this is why I'm two months from mortgage freedom
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I thought it was because your old? JUST KIDDING!!!

Seriously though I'm a cheapskate too I'll talk to my wife and see what we can come up with.
 
geargrrl

geargrrl

Turbo Monkey
May 2, 2002
2,379
1
pnw -dry side
stosh said:
I thought it was because your old? JUST KIDDING!!!

Seriously though I'm a cheapskate too I'll talk to my wife and see what we can come up with.
Click to expand...

LOL, maybe I am compared to some of you (48 in a few weeks)
The bigger thing I think is being really mindful of what you spend your money on.

Do the math - 4 birthday parties a month @ $50 a pop = $200. 4 birthday parties at $10 a pop = $40. That's a savings of $160 a month that currently is going to someone else's kid for something that will most likely turn into a handmedown within six months to a year.
 
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